And another thing!
Right, so, again, first thing, I own nothin'. Second: great googly-moogly, people! Third, let's hope this works.
I groaned and tried to will the voice away.
“Ow!” I blinked blearily. “Molly?”
“As much as I'm glad to know your virginity's intact, what's a redhead doing on your couch?”
“No condoms?” Thwack
“Ow! Respect your elders, young lady!”
“I swear, it's like dealing with Tony Stark, only without the alcohol and womanizing.”
I groaned as I sat up. “So, not like Tony at all. Shame. The way people keep hitting me for no reason, I could use an iron suit.”
“Yeah, geez, what could they be thinking? I mean, you're such a kind, agreeable old man.”
“Watch it, there, grasshopper. You're getting close to a compliment.” I stood up and began pulling on my pants. She... didn't
turn away. I gave her a look.
“What? Oh, please, like I haven't seen it before, or like you haven't seen mine
before. You're going to perpetuate this sham of modesty?” I kept looking.
Molly threw up her hands “Fine!” she said, turning away. “You still haven't answered my question, though.”
I buckled my belt and began putting on a shirt. “I think she’s an alien.”
” Molly spun around.
I pulled open the door. “From another dimension.” And closed it on her sputtering.
Willow was already up and, evidently, trying to decide whether to ask for help or not.
“Bathroom’s that way.” I said, hooking my thumb in the right direction. Relief washed over her face.
“Oh. Thank you! Um. Dy’have a towel, cause, I mean, I kinda didn’t bring anything over, and- not that you have to! I mean, I don’t wanna impose and, hey, witchy powers here, I could probably make something with my socks- though I haven’t learned a self-cleaning spell, that would probably be useful considering how many times Buffy’s gotten slime all over-”
“Just- go. There’s towels. And soap. And shampoo. And thanks to my young apprentice, probably even some feminine products I don’t want to think about.”
“Oh! Okay, um, thanks!” She skedaddled- there is no other word for it- to the bathroom and locked the door behind her.
“Wow, no wonder she didn’t end up in your bed.” Molly smirked from the doorway.
“Molly.” I growled.
Molly put up her hands. “Just sayin’. Alien from another dimension, huh? Looks pretty human to me. Felt pretty human, too”
“As near as I could figure out, she’s a witch who accidently crossed from an alternate world where Earth is Earth, but magic works differently.”
“Really?” Molly straightened up. “Different how?”
I rubbed my head. “I don’t know. We didn’t get that far.”
“How could you not get that far?”
“Look, I think I did a pretty great job just working that out! She kinda came out of thin air!”
A slow grin stole across Molly’s face. “Harry, she didn’t confuse you with her girl babble did she?”
“Did you not hear
“Harry!” She shook her head. “How have you survived this long with all the super-powered women you’ve got after your ass?”
“Most of them try to confuse me by not saying enough!”
“Try to adjust fire, here.” Molly glanced at the kitchen. “You gonna make us some breakfast?”
“Since I don’t feel like poisoning our guest even if she is the first scout of a ruthless, undefeatable dimension-conquering army, yes.”
“My food doesn’t poison, it incapacitates.”
“You keep telling yourself that.”
By the time Willow had gotten out of the shower, I’d worked up something resembling a reasonably decent breakfast.
“Ooh! Bacon!” she exclaimed, stealing a piece. “Thanks!”
“You’re welcome. She-” I pointed at Molly. “Is Molly, my apprentice. Do not accept any food from her unless her mother made it.”
“Again with the hey!”
Willow giggled. “You sound like Xander.”
Molly snorted. “Xander? Poor kid, what crazy parent named him that?”
Xander? Why did that sound familiar...?
“I did, kinda. His name’s Alexander, and I couldn’t say his name right, and so I said-”
“Xander, I gotcha. That’s actually much cooler than what I was thinking, what with the z and all. So you two were pretty close?”
She smiled. “Yeah. He’s my Xander-shaped friend.”
Hells bells, I’d heard that somewhere before!
“So what’s your name?”
Molly laughed. “Willow and Xander? Like from Buffy?”
Willow looked confused. “From Buffy? I mean, yeah, Buffy’s our friend, but how did you know about-?”
“Willow?” I asked carefully.
“Yeah?” She glanced over worriedly.
“Remember how you mentioned, yesterday, that Dawnie liked a certain number of books?”
Her eyes widened. “Oh.”
Molly glanced back and forth between us. “I’m missing something here, aren’t I? What do books have to do with TV?”
Willow squeaked. “We were made into TV?
It was Molly’s turn to look stunned. “No...
I leaned back into my chair. “Looks like. Though, interesting, you didn’t recognize Molly.”
Willow shrugged sheepishly. “I haven’t actually read the books. I kinda tenda rant about badly-written magic in fiction, and Dawnie didn’t feel like going through that. Though, I guess here all my magic is kinda badly-written, huh.”
“You could say that!” Molly exclaimed. “I mean, who came up with that stuff?! The mythos is ridiculous, it’s full of holes, and the whole vampire thing isn’t even consistent!”
“Yeah? Well what about when-”
. I’m sure we can all have a lovely discussion about whose universe is worse later. Right now, I have two main concerns. First, how to get Willow back. Do we have any ideas?”
Willow grimaced. “I’m not sure. The magic feels all weird here.”
“But you can feel it?”
“Yeah, it’s…” She stood up and turned around slowly. “At home, I just pull from the earth. But here, I would have to pull from… there, there, or there.”
“Probably ley lines. Okay, we can work with that. Do you have any more of Dawnie’s blood?”
” Molly jerked upright. “You used Dawn
, I-am-the-Key Summers
Were you insane?!”
“Hey, it was only supposed to be dangerous that one night! Dawnie’s safe, now! And how did you know about the Key?!”
“Which leads me to my other worry. Molly, I freely admit, I’m kind of a geek. I like Spiderman, I have my own lab, and on some Saturdays, I go down to my friends’ house and pretend to be Thorg the Barbarian. But you- you
know the minute details of an obscure television show.”
She blushed “I-”
“And you compared me to Tony Stark this morning. Tony Stark
, I ask you?” I shook my head.