My real name's Harleen Quinzel formerly an up and coming psychiatrist specializing in meta and enhanced human psychoses, but most folks know me as Harley Quinn.
I was a golden girl. In high school I was on the gymnastics team, head cheerleader, class valedictorian, and prom queen. I did my BA in Psychology at the University of Chicago, graduating Summa Cum Laude, and got my MD at UC San Francisco. I worked for a while at Mendota Mental Health in Wisconsin on a research grant then at Bellevue in New York, and then I got a call from my advisor about a job opening at Arkham Asylum in Gotham City.
Everybody knows what happened next. I met the Joker, fell in love, and my life went to hell. I was in and out of Arkham so many times over the next few years, you would've thought the two of us were commuters. But the last time is when it got weird.
The Docs were always trying new treatments on Mister J. Electric, chemical, sonic, you name it. They had just come up with a new herbal technique that one of them had dredged up while on an expedition in the Andes. They fed this concoction into my Puddin' and waited to see what the reaction was.
A week later he rips the door to his cell off its hinges, then does the same to mine. He drags me along spouting stuff like, "I wonder if he'd settle for a time-share" and "Only one previous owner...OOoooo that's good." We get the sea bluff and he jumps over the side. I follow him wanting to see what his plan is, when I watch him breaking iron hinges with his bare-hands.
Now I'm sure that herbal junk has messed him up, so I keep following him into these creepy old caves and we wind up in this room with the bonfires. Quick as a flash Mister J has me tied to a stone table and is starting to use me a sketchpad, with a pair of knives as pencils.
I lose track on how long I'm stuck there, seeing as I'm in agony and all, when in comes a Bat-chick, the Question, and some woman I've never seen before.
The Bat-Chick and the Question double team Mister J and this other woman cuts me loose from the table I get my gag off, maybe mumble something, and then pass out. Not one of my more graceful introductions I gotta say.
When I come to, I'm in this really comfy bed and there's this woman watching me along with this really wrinkly guy and this young girl. The woman smiles and all of a sudden I feel really sleepy and pass out again. The next time I wake up, she's feeding me and telling me her name, Drusilla, and this story about her life and vampires and torture, and I realize that it's the truth. She then says she'll be next door if I need anything and lets me go back to sleep.
The next day I'm feeling a whole lot better so I get up, put on this bathrobe and slippers that are next to the bed, and start roaming around the house. I'm exploring this really nice music room and checking out a really pretty harp, when she walks in. We have a conversation where she tells me that Clem, her butler, and her aren't human, but she says it so easily that you can't help but believe her. We talk some more about her past and how similar our lives have been in having really bad boys screw them up. Then Clem comes in and asks me if I need any kittens or something. I might have heard him wrong, I was still kind of loopy. And Dru went and fixed me lunch.
I ended up staying there all the way to the big fight and beyond. For a soulless creature of the night she's always been kind and helpful to me. Sure she's crazy, but aren't we all?