Disclaimer: I neither own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the Ancient Greek Spartans. This is not a 300 cross or Meet the Spartans cross this is the information I got from Gates of Fire and the course.
Note: This is not historically accurate; just a work of fiction. I’m pretty sure the Greek is wrong.
I remember it like it was yesterday; even though it was nearly three Olympiads ago. I found myself in some poleis called Apollo’s Valley. There were these strange creatures all around that I had never seen before and some woman that might have been interrupted on her way to the Elysian Fields that kept calling me “Defender”.
When I returned to my body; I had a craving for a yellow snack cake called a Twinkie.
Because of that my nickname became Twinkie and I began to incessantly carry around a sharpened piece of wood. I kept speaking about some tree incessantly. Please make a sacrifice to Artemis Oritha for me to abate these compulsions!
-Recently found Grecian tablet dated back to 420 BCE
Halloween approximately 2,000 years later
Xander had gone to the costume store with his two best female friends in search of the most elusive of prey: the perfect Halloween costume or an accessory thereto. Buffy and Willow had already found theirs and were fawning over an eighteenth century dress that would probably make Deadboy happy. Xander wasn’t so easily satisfied; he needed to find a realistic looking fake M16.
He walked over to the accessories bin and looked in. There was one last rifle that looked like an M16. Next to it lay a plastic sword, a plastic spear and a plastic target shield with a triangle on it. Gently; he carried his prize gun to the register and placed it on the counter. Evidently, it was shoddy workmanship because it cracked in two. The sales clerk profusely apologized and said Xander could have any other costume he could find the accessories for a bargain.
Well Xander found a breastplate, greaves and a full face helm. Xander took them to ring out and was given all his accessories plus his costume in a bag.
Approximately 48 hours later in the Library
Xander was listening to Buffy and Willow tell Giles all about their misadventures the previous night. Xander just sat there and played with a toy he had found. To a Spartan it was a suitable toy, it was actually a small knife.
After asking Xander what he went as, Giles started polishing his glasses.
"Good Lord Xander, the Spartans were the most feared warrior culture in the Ancient World.
Three hundred Spartans and their allies held off the million man army of the Persians long enough for the Greeks to win the Peloponesian War. Obviously, this will help in slaying we need to get you set up with the appropriate gear."Giles said.
Buffy and Willow started screaming about getting him fixed.
"None of that is going to happen ladies, Xander was infused with this by Janus and he is the only one who can fix this."
A/N:This was inspired by the Ancient Greek Seminar class I was taking a little less than a year ago.