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Freaky Friday

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Summary: Xander is having a very bad day. Beware Friday the Thirteenth.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Comedy > Xander-CenteredSithicusFR13711,8821359,87120 Feb 108 Mar 10No

Revenge is a Dish...

Author's Notes: I finally bring this story to an end and I only get one review? What happened? Did I lose my readers with the direction I went? *SIGH* Well I hope the epilogue will garner more reaction. One last chapter after this one the dark and twisted ending version in which Buffy remains trapped as a guy and Xander learns more of the joys of womanhood.



Willow was so nervous as she walked into school early the next day – she’d wanted to call Buffy or Xander to find out if they’d ‘solved’ their problem. But she knew it would probably just upset her even more – especially after she’d been feeling so… Conflicted all throughout the day.

Her biggest crush ever was in her best friend’s body. How the hell was she supposed to deal with that? It being Saturday the school of course was relatively empty, but Willow knew that they would be there. She wasn’t sure how or why – she just knew.

In the library Buffy and Xander both sat. Each of them silent and glaring at Giles who was across the table from them with a pale face and an expression of deep shame and regret. Confused Willow left the entranceway and joined her friends. “B-Buffy?” she asked hesitantly.

Buffy turned to face her. “Yeah, Will, we’re back to normal,” she said.

Xander smiled at her. “Thanks for what you did yesterday to help me out,” he said. “Now as for you, G-Man, I demand to know why you felt it necessary to shove us in each other’s bodies.”

Willow balked at those words. “Giles, it was you?” she asked. She began to feel faint as though someone had just told her, her parents had died. And then she collapsed.

“Willow!” Xander shouted leaping out of his seat and rushing to her side.

Her vision slightly hazy Willow glanced up into the concerned eyes of her friend. When she saw the soul behind them – familiar and inviting – she smiled. “I’m ok! I just… It was a shock,” she admitted.

“Kind of a shock to us all,” Buffy agreed as she returned to her seat. She hadn’t rushed to Willow’s side because she felt she would only get in the way with Xander already there. But she had wanted to make sure Willow was ok… The Slayer in her just hadn’t wanted to leave Giles unguarded.

With a nervous gesture Giles began to speak. “I-I-I’m terribly sorry about all this. But when I discovered the spell in that book something just came over me. Buffy, you have been far too involved with Angel… I was afraid it could disrupt your life in ways that you may not truly be ready for.” His explanation wasn’t very convincing to her ears – Giles could see that, but he chose to press on. “I don’t think you even realize what he is capable of should Angelus return. A relationship with something inherently evil is never a good idea. I only wished to protect you, Buffy.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “So in order to protect me you decide it’s a good idea to let me live in Xander’s body for a day?” she demanded.

Xander nodded in agreement. “Yeah, Giles! Why did you have to punish me too?” he demanded agitatedly.

“Because you have been acting like a love-sick fool! And also I felt it would aid you in better understanding just what gaining super strength would mean,” Giles shot back frustratedly. “If you go through with the full changes to your body it could be dangerous for you, I wanted to make you understand that you would become a target. I wanted to help you to learn how to move, how to control your super strength should you allow your Primal her way.” Giles paused and shook his head. “I also knew that Buffy and Willow needed to be told, but you forbade me from ever mentioning it, Xander. I knew if Buffy were placed in your body for a time she would soon learn of your mental guest.”

“That’s cold,” Xander stated with a glare. “You couldn’t just sit me down and, ya know, tell me about it?”

Giles sighed. “You wouldn’t listen to me,” he declared with certainty. “Not in the mindset you were suffering under, the Primal influences you more than you realize, Xander. I had to get you away from her if only for a brief time to try and make you see both sides of the equation.”

Buffy snorted. “Total Bullshit, Giles, we trusted you!” she told the man.

Willow decided to join in now. “We still can,” she said calmly even as all eyes turned to her. The shock in her friend’s eyes made her hesitate, but she pressed on. “Giles was acting out of love and maybe one too many hits to the head,” she pointed out.

“Ah yes. Thank you for that, Willow,” he said.

“Quiet you!” Willow snapped.

Taken aback at the force of her words, Giles recoiled in surprise.

“What you did was morally questionable at best, at worse it could be considered a violation of some type,” she stated marching up to Giles and glaring at him with her familiar ‘Willow Glare’. “Xander could have died! The Slayer is always a target, and then there’s the whole wigged out factor because of the dream I had last night!” Willow felt her cheeks growing hot and she made a little gasping noise. “Not that I had any kind of weird dreams,” she hastily denied. “But anyway… I say we still trust him, but we watch his every move from now on just to make sure he doesn’t get any silly notions in his head,” she decided.

“Good idea, Willow,” Xander agreed with a slight smirk.

An Alpha can always have more than one, Mate,” Primal whispered in his head.

“That’s Willow!” Xander retorted.

I bet she tastes like Strawberries,” Primal mused.

“I’m just going to ignore you now, ok,” Xander decided.

“Now I understand why you whisper to yourself,” Buffy declared. “Willow, I guess you’re right. Nobody got hurt, except for – you know – the whole emotional scarring issues. So we’ll let Giles off with a warning, this time,” she stated her tone indicative that she wouldn’t take any crap from her Watcher again.

“As long as you promise to burn that book,” Xander added.

Giles’ face turned even whiter than before. “Xander, you wouldn’t dare ask me to do such a thing?” he demanded.

Xander mulled it over briefly and then reluctantly shook his head. “Ok, no book burning, but you are going to lock it away where nobody can ever find it again!” he stated in a commanding tone.

Reluctantly Giles agreed. “Very well,” he said.

Buffy nodded. “Ok, well I’ve got to go smooth a few things over with Angel,” she announced. “He’s probably still wondering why he said the things he did like that,” she added.

Xander sighed, but kept his thoughts on the matter to himself. “Right. While you’re dealing with Captain Hair Gel I’ve got something I need to see to too.”

Willow smiled slightly. “If this is what I think it is, Xander, can I help?”

“Naturally, Wills,” he said. “Let’s go. We’ll be back to check up on you later, G-Man.”

Bristling at the nickname yet again Giles reached for the book after his charges left. “Perhaps there’s a spell in here to make him stop using that infernal nickname so much. He’s been lobbing it around me far too much in recent days,” he stated flipping to the index and perusing the book. “Perhaps though I should simply put this away,” he added as he suddenly realized what he’d been about to do. He couldn’t believe how close he’d come to slipping off the wagon – touching his arm briefly under his shirt he rubbed the mark on his skin. “I think this would be safer with Miss Calendar,” he decided tucking the book under his arm and heading out of the library.



Cordelia privately smirked as she recalled the fun she’d had tormenting Xander the other day, with him trapped in Buffy’s body it was an opportunity she just couldn’t pass up. Not after what happened to her cousin when she went through the same thing a few years back, although to be fair it had given her a new appreciation for her relations.

At least she’d been swapped with another girl – if she’d had to live a day as a boy she would have flipped. And not telling anybody had been the best decision ever. “I know he’s going to figure it out though,” she remarked with a sigh. “Well! Whatever payback he’s going to dish out I’ll be ready for it,” she declared before opening the door to the library and making her way inside. A flurry of motion caught her eye briefly and then several projectiles slammed into her.

Xander and Willow both high fived across the room as they emerged from concealment under the table. Both of them grinning from ear to ear as they stared at Cordelia mockingly.

Dripping all over the floor Cordy was slowly beginning to tremble with rage. “Very mature,” she said in a frosty tone. “Of course you realize, this means war,” she added adopting an almost playful tone.

Xander shot her a very confused look. “Uh, Cordy, shouldn’t you be outraged or something?”

“Oh I am, Xander, do you realize what kind of outfit you just ruined!?” she screeched. “When I get my hands on you you’re going to wish you could live as a Girl again,” she added before whirling on her feet and marching out the door.

Willow blinked. “Maybe we should have gone with the anonymous idea instead,” she said.

“What can Cordy possibly do that was worse than yesterday?” Xander asked with an innocent shrug.

She might make a suitable third mate,” Primal mused.

“Knock it off, I thought you liked Buffy?” Xander grumbled.

Yes, but that was before you hit Cordelia with a ton of water balloons while she was wearing a white blouse,” Primal informed with a laugh.

“Son of a bitch!” Xander cursed. “I can’t win with you,” he complained.

You know you want it, Xander, it’s the biggest fantasy you have next to the one about seeing Buffy naked. And you got your chance at fulfilling that one yesterday.” Primal smiled slyly.

Xander hated how she always got him to see her, but he couldn’t reciprocate. He also hated the very happy mental place he was now going to thanks to that reminder. “I just know Buffy is going to kill me if she ever realizes what I did when I found that item in her dresser drawer,” he whispered to his mental friend.

Primal smirked. “Want me to tell her?” she asked.

“If you do… Her sting will feel like a tickle compared to mine,” Xander vowed in an icy tone.

Willow sighed. “I wish you’d stop talking to her, Xander, we’ve still got phase two to enact,” she reminded.

“Oh right,” Xander said a dark gleam trickling into his eyes. With a sharp bark of laughter – much like a hyena – he made his way out of the library with Willow and on to the next phase. It was going to be a very long and happy Saturday.

The End

The End?

You have reached the end of "Freaky Friday" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 8 Mar 10.

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