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Summary: Where you lead, I will follow, but seriously, pick a better direction!

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Gilmore Girls
Stargate > General
joshlamontFR151012,6572712430,13221 Feb 1011 Jun 11Yes


(Just so you all know, I don't own Gilmore Girls, Stargate, or Buffy!)

Rory Gilmore cursed. Or at least, she felt like cursing. There were probably a few good curse-words to describe this situation. She should have gotten Faith to teach them to her. Whose idea was it to run around on an alien ship again?




She peeked around the corner. Agh, more Jaffa! What was up with these guys? Who marched around their ship all day? Place to hide, place to hide… oh, screw it, ceiling again! She leapt up to the roof and held on.

This was her mom’s fault. She’s the one who thought it was cool to be a superhero. Well, yeah, she didn’t know about the aliens. But she knew about the vampires! She loved the vampires. Especially how they went poof. Wasn’t your mother supposed to be all worried that you might die? Grandma would be worried. Her mom just clapped her hands when someone nailed one.

Okay, the troops had passed. Man, were they noisy! That had be a thing for troops, noisy. Probably the trooping. She snuck around the corner and through the hallway. Now where would an bigheaded water-snake with delusions of grandeur keep his prison?

Rory grimaced. “Just see what they’re doing” they said. “We don’t want another Initiative!” they said. “Bring back some interdimensional dish” they- Xander said. This was more his fault than anything. Not the mission- it was a good idea, and hey, not as bad as they thought- the portal was intergalactic, not interdimensional, so at least they didn’t have to worry about any hell-beasts. But there’s no way she could let those Air Force people get kidnapped and walk home. Buffy would get it, sure. Faith would shrug her shoulders. Her watcher was too green to have any real opinion. But Xander, he’d- there was this look, and it was a specific look, and you just couldn’t get that look, because it wasn’t that he was angry, or blamed you, or anything, but- you lost something. What was worse was, he’d get it. He understood. Which is why he didn’t blame you. But you couldn’t get that look.

More Jaffa. Jiminy Christmas! And there was no place to hide! Rory began running.


It had all begun, as most insane things tend to, with a phone call.

“Heeey, Rorygirl, what’s up?”


“The one and only. How’s things down in- where are you now?”

“The campaign just went through Woonsocket, Minnesota.”

“Woonsocket? Isn’t that some kind of Michkta demon?”

“Tribe, actually. That’s the town. I don’t think the senator guessed a thing.”

“Aren’t they like bright orange?”

“You wouldn’t believe the kind of things a Native American heritage can get away with.”

“And I bet it’s darn useful during night rides.”

“The heritage?”

“The orange.”

“Entirely possible. Though the heritage might kind of obscure that.”

“Ah, yes." Rory could hear the grin in Xander's voice, "The mythic Indian tracker super power- hiding in plain sight!”

“Worked on the senator.” Rory replied, folding up another piece of clothing.

“So no vamps?”

“Crazily enough, not a single one. Something about no food around here.”

“If only they’d known about the senator!”


“What? He’s nice and hefty. I bet he’d make a great meal.”

“I’m kinda supporting him, here!”

“And with all that weight I’ll bet he’s very appreciative.”

Rory sighed. “So what’s up on your end?”

“You know, funny story there.”


“It’s not really bad.”

“That’s what my mom said last time she burned down the kitchen.” Rory held up two socks, trying to decide if they matched of not.

“Not Sookie?”

“I know, it was the craziest thing!”

“And not that bad?”

“That’s what she said.”

“Well, I don’t have any burning buildings.”

“You took care of all those in high school.”

“You know those youthful follies.” Xander replied cheerfully.

“So what’s your news?”

“Military’s doing some crazy science underneath some mountain.”

“Aren’t they always?”

“Involves archeology.”

“Even more classic. Remember Indiana Jones?”

“Weren’t the soldiers bad guys?”

“Well, yes, but it’s still nothing new.”

“Theoretical physics and ancient tombs.”

“Well, that’s new.”

“Willow tried to hack in, but they’ve got separate servers for the mountain and the program.”

“The mountain has a server?”

“Run by NORAD.”

“The rent they must pay!”

“Yeah, well- we kinda wanna know what’s the what.”

“And you thought of me.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You were thinking it.”

“You have no way of knowing that.”


“But it is a great idea.”

“And why’s that?”

“Think of the exposy!”


“Yeah, that!”

“As if I could publish anything I found.”

“Not digging the Lois Lane thing?”

“She got kidnapped all the time.”

“Yeah, we were really worried about that when you started.”


“Well, you kinda look like Dawnie and you’re a reporter.”


“It’s a type!”

“Still not seeing why you want me. I’m all the way in Michigan!”

“They’ve got Daniel Jackson.”



“I hate you.”

“Hey, don’t blame me if your mystery archeologist finally showed up.”

“He’s been gone for years!”

“So I’ve heard.”

“He disappeared right after a controversial paper!”

“One about aliens, mind you.”

“So? His analysis of the Egyptian period totally matches what we’ve found in demonic mythological histories! All he did was guess the wrong source!”

“So you’re sure it doesn’t involve space-ships.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!”


On said space-ship, Rory dodged a left, a left, another left, and- oh, crap. She skidded to a halt.

“Jaffa! Kree!

“No, no, no, noc kree! Jaffa hi’ato!” Rory scrambled back as the Jaffa began trooping toward her.

“Aray kree!”

You aray kree!” She dodged around yet another corner (these ships were built like mazes!) and ran into a pair of (non) patrolling Jaffa, carrying their meals. Food went flying, girls bounced across the floor, and the Jaffa rocked back slightly, stunned and surprised.

“Sha'lokma'kor!” But not for long.

“Oh, come on!” Rory backed up a few steps and flew at the Jaffa. At the very last moment she leapt into the air, and at the very last moment one of the thoroughly food-covered Jaffa caught her ankle as she sailed over their heads.

Oof!” She landed heavily on the ground and had just enough time to bring up her other foot and thwack her captor in the face. The Jaffa roared, dropping her foot, but by then the other Jaffa had caught up.

Rory fell into a defensive stance. “I don’t suppose we can talk about this, can we? I mean, that was a total accident, knocking into your food.”

The Jaffa dropped their weapons down to bear on her.

“I guess not.” She flipped into the air from a dead start.
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