Actressess These Days
rating: contains a bad word.
main character: Cordelia
disclaimer: I hold no legal rights to Cordelia or Angel (property of Joss Whedon & the Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel the Series writing staff) or to her mentioned rival (property of Jim Henson & anyone else with legal rights to the Muppets). There is mention of Galaxy Quest, and I have no legal rights to that either (although I own a copy on DVD).
distribution: Twisting, Paula, anyone else ask first.
note: this is set AU season 1 Angel, when Cordelia was still trying to get acting jobs.
The door to the office slammed shut, accompanied by a distinctly feminine growl. The ominous sound of high heels clicking on the floor echoed ahead, a warning that she was approaching. It almost sounded as if she was trying to stab the floor with every step.
Doyle winced, looking over at Angel before he whispered "I don't think Cordelia's audition went very well."
Angel shot a look at Doyle before looking at the doorway. "Cordelia. Nice dress."
"What is that supposed to mean? Exactly what is wrong with me?" Cordelia was practically snarling, her hair up in an elegant bun, held in place by enameled chopsticks, except for two tendrils curling decoratively down. The blue gray silk was almost the color of fine steel, and clung to her body suggestively, shimmering in an elegant fall to her knees, a slit in one side revealing glimpses of her leg. "How hard can it be to get a part for the second run of what used to be a bad sci-fi series? We're talking Galaxy Quest, not something that gets taken seriously!"
Dolye glanced at Angel, as if hoping, begging for a rescue. "What sort of part were you trying out for?"
"The beautiful alien princess. It sounds like a standard girl of the episode part, which I can do. But the competition... There was a pig!" Cordelia glared in general, sitting on a chair and slipping off her high heels.
Doyle looked over, and spoke slowly, cautiously. "Now, just because someone else was trying out for the same part is no reason to call her names."
"No, I mean she was a pig. Snout, piggy ears, I don't know about a tail, but she was really a pig. There was also a Telluri-whatsit, those blue people with the feathers? But I was auditioning against a pig!" Cordelia wailed.
"Well, I suppose that is a bit odd..." Angel spoke slowly, wondering just where such a being could come from. A pig that wanted to be an actress?
"And she had diamond earrings! A pig with diamond earrings! Life is just not fair sometimes." Cordelia sighed, rubbing at her temples. "Damn that Miss Piggy anyhow."
end Actresses These Days.