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Summary: “I’m not OK! The world is not how I thought it was, there’s danger everywhere, and I’m far away from home! I’m surrounded by people who want to drink my blood and eat ME!*Sob*I’m not ok.I ‘wish’ you did know how I feel-” ‘Oh, crap’Thought Xander. SLASH!

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Xander-Centered > Theme: Atlantis ProjectMerKatFR1527,4836598,17026 Feb 1018 Aug 11No

damn vamp fodder!

Title: Damn vamp fodder!

Author: MerKat

Fandom: Stargate/BTVS

Pairing: M/M M/F

Summary: “I’m not OK! The world is not how I thought it was, there’s danger everywhere, and I’m far away from home! I’m surrounded by people who want to drink my blood and eat ME! *Sob* I’m not ok. I ‘wish’ you did know how I feel-” ‘Crap’ was the only word Xander could think of as he vanished in a puff of smoke.

Warning! Animal abuse. Slash.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything within the Buffy: The Vampire Slayer or Stargate Atlantis I plan for there to be guy on guy love within the story. If you do not like it move on. Sorry a head of time for any spelling, grammar, or punctuation mistakes. Buffy the Vampire slayer belongs to Joss Whedon. I own none of the characters and make no money.

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****

In the dark of the night there are monsters and there are heroes, light and darkness, weak and the strong, the hysterical and the calm. Opposites that make the world go round and around, the struggle between man, nature, and the beast. Heroes rise from the ashes of childhood, of change, of war, and become what the people need. What the people depend on. What the people can blame when the path gets too hard to tread. Heroes and solders are the ones looked to for hope, for guidance, for protection. Years ago Xander was weak and hysterical when he found out about vampires and slayers but now he is a hunter/watcher/trainer of slayers. He is the one frightened folk hang onto; he is the one they cry on when they are stripped of their blinders, he is the one they get angry at when the world they knew looks scary and ugly. Xander remembers looking at Buffy for guidance, for her to deny what he had seen in the dark, for her to make it all go away. The day Xander Harris went from high school loser/dweeb to demon fighter was a frightening change, like getting born all over again and forced to walk and thrive like a baby gazelle on the African plains.

Xander patted the crying girl on the back and mentally urged her to get her act together and stop dribbling warm tears down his neck. He won’t tell her to let go though, the woman had quite a shock. Her boyfriend was a vampire and tried to eat her, it was her right to cry and clutch onto someone. ‘At least we got to this one in time.’ Xander thought sadly. For the past three months young budding witches have been found drained with power symbols carved into their corpses. The spell Mr. Dusty used gave him very potent blood, blood full of magic. The vampire that is now ash at Xander’s feet drank and sold bottled magic blood for a high price to vamps and demons amplifying their strengths. It took five strong slayers with magi blocking charms from Willow and Xander to stop this one super vampire. At least he was dead and no more magic blood would be created. Xander winced when the curly haired blond tightened her hold on him and rubbed her head against his like a distressed cat. Behind him Xander’s small team of slayers snickered. ‘That’s it! I need to get us moving. We still have hours of patrol left and we need to wipe out that demon bar that’s selling the last of the magic blood.’

“I was sooooo s-scared.” The girl wailed as she hugged Xander tight, her focusing crystal necklace digging into his lower ribs. The damn thing had a sharp corner he could feel piercing into his thick clothes and scrapping over his flesh.

Xander patted her back. “There, there, it’s ok. Everything’s fine now. You’re ok.”

The girl snuffled then frowned deeply her big blue eyes red and junky. The expression on her face doing a complete turn around, going from frightened little child to pissed off she-devil, like flipping a switch she went from crying to snarling. “I’m ok? I’m not ok! My world just got turned upside down. I thought I was a strong person but today I was as helpless like a kitten, so much for self defense class. *Snuffle* Am I even human? What is a witch really? *Sob* Tonight was supposed to be about love, and romance, and sweet wonderful things! Not this! The world is not how I thought it was there’s danger everywhere I look. I’m far away from home and people that care for me! I’m surrounded by people . . . no creatures that want to drink my blood and eat ME! *Sob* I’m not ok. *Growl* Nothing is ok!” The girl placed her head between Xander’s pecks and snuffled loudly. “I wish you did know how I feel but you don’t. I wish you could understand how not human I feel-”

‘Crap.’ Xander froze and behind him his slayers gasped in horror. The vamp fodder they just saved said the W-word, Xander closed his eyes when magic washed over him cold and thick like an icy morning fog. “Wish Granted!”

The girl fell on her face in the mud as Xander faded away like smoke in the breeze.

*
PX3-907-M121 Planet Ruldrum
*

Doctor Rodney McKay was not a happy camper today. Well not like he was one on any day but today was especially dreary. The planet SGA-1 was on was supposed to have one of the best known food and tech markets in Pegasus and yet it was lacking greatly. Rodney glared at Sheppard; at least he was enjoying this waste of Rodney’s valuable time. “We should leave now; we’re not going to find anything here, Colonel.” Rodney pulled out his power readings scanner and found nothing, zero, and zip. The Castle Bowin and its surrounding market had no Ancient technology, no ZPM, and no weapons beyond clunky basic guns.

Col. John Sheppard grinned at Rodney. “What and leave without checking out the food? McKay, are you sick?” John reached out to feel Rodney’s forehead only to have the other dodge to the side. John grinned, at least some of Rodney’s defense training is getting absorbed. The man was good at ducking, good skill to have in a firefight.

“We already set up trade with the leader of this heap, medical aide and Teyla’s people for farming, why suffer another minute in this heat?” Rodney brushed at bit of sweat off his brow to prove a point.

The planet was hot but the cool wind blowing in from the ocean helped keep the air from feeling oppressive, plus it was much cooler inside the castle. “Come on McKay lets at least check out the royal bakery. The leader’s wife, Lady Rose, said they have chocolate cake and some sort of mint truffle thing covered in hard honey. I think she called it truvlami.”

Rodney wouldn’t admit it but John had him at chocolate cake. So onward they went to the dining hall to spend another boring couple of hours watching the princess bat her lashes at Sheppard while the man was completely unaware. Goody.

*
They walked down the stone hall to explore since they were all invited to spend the night, Rodney was sure it was Sheppard’s fault. Him and that damn princess. Ruldrum was a interesting place even though it lacked technology, the food was fabulous and the round architecture was pleasant to the eye. It couldn’t hold a flame to Atlantis’ graceful towers, glowing radiance, and glittering windows but it was nice in that dull stone lack of electricity kind of way. He was just starting to think the Ruldrumans were not all that bad until something caught Rodney’s eye. Ronon, Sheppard with Princess Millie latched onto his arm continued on to the next course of the meal while Teyla followed Rodney as he left the main rout to the dining area and entered the butchery of the kitchen. Rodney eyed the animals hanging upside down from the small wooden rafters with distaste. “Are those cats?” Rodney asked quietly.

Teyla studied the skinned animals and shook her head. “I think they are called tilnithk. They’re a common animal on Ruldrum though I have never eaten it before. I have been told they taste sweet and cook well in soup. I believe that is what King Bowin is serving us for our next course of the meal.”

“It’s a cat.” Rodney said as he looked at the rows of them lined up on hooks, the expression on his face a mix of horror, sadness, and disgust. “I have a cat on Earth, as a pet, a companion! You’re not supposed to EAT your CAT!” Rodney yelled the last bit as he pointed at the woman behind said bloody cat killing table.

The old woman just blinked. “Want skinned fresh tilnithk?” Her words poor and hard to understand and her accented thick. The old woman pointed her big knife at the cats hanging from the hooks to the lone one in a wooden cage. “You pick, I skin fast and put in pot. Boil good. Fat ones taste sweet good, small ones rich sweet.”

Rodney eyed the evil woman then eyed the poor kitty cat and wondered how much trouble he would get in if he pulled a ‘Free Willy.’ Rodney watched the small brown kitten uncurl its body from sleep, yawn widely, and stretch its body as far as the cage would let it. Rodney blinked as light glittered off the small animal’s pelt, curious about it he took a closer look. Blending in with the silky brown/copper fur along the kitten’s spine, around his eyes, paws, and tail were small copper scales. The scales ranged from the size of a pin head to a pinky nail and glittered like they were wet. Carefully Rodney opened the cage and picked up the kitty creature. It was startled at first then it purred and its tail split into four. Startled by that Rodney almost dropped the cat but the scientist in him was fascinated by the splitting and merging of the limb, it was like watching clay get mashed back together. Rodney scratched behind the scaled cat’s ear and started falling in love with it when the old woman snatched it out of his hands. “Hey!”

“Want small brown? I skin? Rich sweet taste soup?”

“No! No, you not skin! Give back! Now! Mine!” Rodney snarled as he copied the old woman’s way of speaking.

The woman made a questioning sound as she handed the tilnithk back to Rodney. Rodney held the animal protectively to his chest. “I’m keeping him.”

*
In the dining hall sitting on plush hunter green pillows at the low wooden tabled John Sheppard tried to pry Princess Millie of his arm without making it look obvious or mean. Judging by the amused look in Ronon’s eyes and the puzzled one on the King’s face he wasn’t succeeding. With an unhappy huff John resigned himself to eating one handed for the third course of the meal just as he had with the first and second. John looked around the dining hall at all the people in their stiff richly colored clothes and then his eyes landed on one fellow with fresh cuts on his face. Cuts going from the man’s corner lip to the bottom of his chin, John absently wondered what weapon would leave three small even lines besides an aggressive forking. John’s eyes crossed over Ronon and wistfully wondered if he could transfer the princess’ attention from one unattached male to the next? “Joooohnnnnn?”

John wanted to rub at his ear with irritation because the girl practically had her lips on it. “Yes, Princess Millie?”

She giggled. “Silly man, you can just call me Millie. How many wraith have you killed? And what do they look like? It has been many years since my people have seen wraith, not since daddy was a boy have they stepped foot on Ruldrum soil.”

John tilted his head away from the girl, did she think slobbering in his ear was sexy? “Then I hope you never meet one. They’re bad news.”

“Oh?”

“Yep.” John looked around for Rodney. Where was the man when he needed him, he was blunt and didn’t care if he insulted someone. He could tell the princess to stop humping his arm and ear!

“You must be such a great warrior.” John winced when hot air and spittle smacked him in the cheek.

“I’m an ok warrior but Ronon over there he’s a real hero. Saved pretty girls and babies and everything!” John pointed at Ronon. A startled expression crossed the big man’s face as the princess eyed him and placed a small hand on his much bigger one.

“Sheppard’s just being modest.” Ronon growled as he pulled his hand out from under hers and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Really?” Princess Millie’s blue eyes widened.

“Hn.” Ronon grunted.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE THEM! COOKING CATS!”

“Rodney, please take a breath and think clearly. We are among a different culture, many things are different.” Both men were relieved to hear Rodney stomp toward the dining hall with Teyla at his heels trying to calm him with gentle words. The princess didn’t seem happy at all to have the loud Doctor McKay back among them; she placed both arms back around John’s holding the poor limb prisoner once again.

Rodney took in the sight of the grabby princess that wouldn’t catch a clue and Sheppard who was looking at Rodney with ‘Save me’ eyes. Rodney huffed and bulldozed toward Sheppard nearly knocking the princess over as he made space between them where there was previously none. “Look!”

John blinked when McKay shoved a brown fuzz ball into his hands. The creature uncurled and blinked at him then gave a questioning meow. “Cute.” John brushed his hand over the animal’s slender back and scratched its small fluffy head.

“Oh! A baby tilnithk.” The princess reached out to it only to scuttle back when it hissed and snapped at her small fingers. “Beast!” She yelped as she backed well out of John’s personal space. John looked at the weird space cat and gave it some extra pats while whispering ‘Good kitty’ into its ear. John looked up at Rodney thankfully, as he tugged on the man to sit down. “Who’s cat?”

“Apparently it was to be my dinner.”

John looked the small copper colored creature over. “Looks a little undercooked, McKay.”

The astrophysicist sniffed. “I’m not eating a cat.”

*

“Come on!”

“No.”

“But-”

“No.”

“Sheppard!”

“No, McKay.”

“Fine! You say no to this little face!”

Large brown eyes looked up sadly at John and soft chocolate brown ears twitched in his direction. *Mewl* A brown pair and a blue pair of hopeful eyes looked up at him and he could swear both were watering up with crocodile tears. “N-no?”

“Bu-but he helped you! Because of him you avoided another grabby princess after your hand in marriage. They eat little guys like him here, Sheppard! And they torture them! At temple they choose one to skin alive! That’s animal abuse!”

John rolled his eyes. “Somehow I don’t see the ASPCA coming this far to help.”

*Mewl*

John looked at the pitiful expression on the cat’s face and sighed. “I’m going to get in trouble for this. You two know that right?”

Rodney grinned, Teyla smiled softly, Ronon smirked, and the kitty blinked at him innocently.

When the team finally left PX3-907-M121 known as Ruldrum they left with an extra member. When they stepped out of the event horizon and into the safety that is Atlantis no one noticed that Doctor Rodney McKay had an odd bump under his jacket.

*
Two weeks before
*

Xander groaned as he slowly came awake with a pounding headache. He hurt all over. When he fully opened his eyes he came face to face with a black haired vengeance demon, leathery veins popped out on his face and fangs peeking out of his smiling mouth. The demon grinned as he looked around them, at the bustling market place with its oblivious village folk. “Life turned upside down, check. Go from strong to weak, check. Far away from home in a new world, check that off. Surrounded by people that want to eat you, double check. Know the girl’s pain, check. Look on White Knight’s face, priceless.” The demon giggles as he danced around what looked like an old fashioned market place for the medieval period. Across the hard packed soil path was a wooden stall selling fish, another one selling vegetables, and another shiny flat breads.

Panicked Xander tried to stand up and demand answers from the demon but couldn’t balance on his legs. Dark brown fur covered his whole body from his tiny paws to his spindly legs to the thick flickering tail. Xander made a panicked noise that sounded like a hiss. The demon giggled as he picked Xander up by the scruff of his neck and dangled him above his cage. “Oh, this is so perfect. The White knight, One Who Sees, the head Watcher of Africa, a cute little cocoa colored kitty cat.”

Xander growled and tried to swipe at the demon’s face just missing the demon’s nose. Frustrated Xander bared his small white fangs and hissed, the fur along his body stood on end, and to his shock his tail split into four and the ends started to rattle like a snakes. Xander let out a confused meow, was he some sort of demon cat? “You’re a tilnithk, a mix of cat and reptile. On this world you’re a yummy food item. Very good in soup and those rattlers are used in medicine by healers. Impressive that you have four of them, most tilnithk only have two. I wouldn’t be showing them off when the local witch doctor comes a calling, they chop um right off while you’re still alive and let you bleed out into their potions. The people here wear your fur, chop off your feet and keep um like lucky charms, they pull teeth out of the live ones and make fertility necklaces out of them. Hope you like it here, food.”

Xander let out another meow of distress with his soft ears flat on his head and tried to swipe at the demon again, badly wanting to draw blood. It only made the jerk giggle harder when his tiny claws met their mark, the demon’s tongue snapped out of his mouth and licked at the three shallow cuts along his chin. The guy turned Xander so he could see a dozen other tilnithk in cages and some hanging like poultry from hooks with their bellies split open and their fur skinned off. “You know I could have done worse to you . . . Too bad too. You’re lucky you fucked Anya. Anya may be long dead by she still has a lot of clout, a lot of us owe her, and since I owe her I’m giving you an out. An out if you don’t get eaten that is. One month from now if your still alive you’re going to become human-ish again, before that time you either mark three men that are going to fuck you or . . .” The demon snickered.

Xander mewled as his large ears twitching in question, his mismatched brown eyes wide.

The demons smile became pure evil. “Mark three men to fuck on the next full moon or every man within a ten mile radius of you will be nailing you’re ass.”

Xander hissed his ears back and his four tails thrashing and rattling like a basket full of vipers.

“Are you wondering why you need to be fucked? It’s not just so I can picture you under a bunch of men, sweaty, moaning, and naked, it is a bonus though. You need it. Sex magic. Powerful shit that. Too give you back a humanoid form you need at least a temporary bond though lots of dirty sex. And the number three is powerful, as a Watcher you know that. You should be happy I’m nice and making it three instead of twelve.”

The kitten glared, his tail now one long whip thrashed back and forth, the rattle on the end making it loud and clear how upset the former human was.

“Won’t be any rescue here boy, and the contract your people have with mine involved you’re people wishing. The vamp food you saved was not a watcher, demon fighter, nor slayer. A free agent and a big loop whole. This spells pretty basic, you change on the full moon, you need three vessels for the magic that will bust out of you or it will affect everyone with a dick. You’ll be like a walking wet dream with a halo of horny all around you. You can bond with three of your choice or get gang banged and not bond with no one, those are your options.”

Xander whipped his tail at the demon and was surprised when it left a deep cut. He looked at his new weapon with wonder. The rattle was not like a snakes it was curved like a scorpions stinger, Xander twitched the copper colored tip and watched dark blood drip to the ground.

“You should be a bit nicer to me, I could have done some bad stuff to you.” The demon shrugged then wiped off the blood and laughed. “I could have turned you into a little girl and set you up as a sick pervert’s child. I could have placed you out on a demon slave planet to be someone’s toy, easy, quick, done, but no fun. Anya would have had my head anyway, bitch has wings now and does justice type stuff. This little wish gives me my fun, follows the wish, and involves lots of sex. Sun down to sun up to be precise. Your dead ex-girl would be happy with how I worked this spell.”

An old woman with dark slanted eyes smiled at the demon as she came out of the back room of the tilnithk stall. “Want me cut up for you?” She slurred as she pointed her blood crusted curved knife at Xander.

The demon grinned and placed Xander back in his cage. “Too small. I’ll take the big grey one.”

Xander watched the old woman slice the large tilnithk open with a sharp blade and started skinning it before it was done twitching. He watched steaming guts plop to the floor and felt a little sick at the sight of the tilnithk’s green eyes watching him sightlessly.

Xander looked at the still grinning demon from his cage with his ears back and his teeth barred. ~Who are you so I’ll know who to kill.~

The demon bowed. “Curtisillnoth. You can call me Curt. I’m the patron saint of foolish decisions. Not very high up like Anya was, or Hallie, or Jacob patron saint of spurned men, but I’m good. I got you after-all.”

Yeah, he got Xander.

*
His first day at the butchers Xander tried to escape. Though he never owned a cat he had seen them fit though some pretty small spaces. So he tried forcing his small body through the cage and managed to get his head and shoulder though only to get caught just as he was about to leap for it. He was transferred to a bigger cage with tough fabric netting over it, the holes so small he could barely fit a paw through.

Xander curled up on himself and tried to look as small as possible as people walked by the stall, everyone was now a potential enemy. The first time he had seen the medicine man he nearly peed himself when the man’s dark eyes grazed over him. Thankfully Xander was too small for what the man wanted. Xander had to watch three friendly red cat creatures bleed out into wooden mixing bowls, then watch the evil butcher woman dice the cats up and wrap them in some sort of green cloth for the grim faced medicine man. The red pelts were hanging on the side wall for customers to buy.

Xander looked at others shivering in their cages and wondered how many were animals and how many were like him. The vengeance demon may have thought he was cleaver but most stick to what they're good at just like humans. If they’re good at mutilation they do that, impossible choices, transformation, humiliation . . . they stick to what they do best. All Anya’s wishes had a theme, blood and pain and chaos. Xander looked at the dozen other cats closely and tried to find human intelligence but all he could see was fear and sadness. Maybe none of them were human but they all understood they were going to die.

Xander watched from his cage as a white furred silver scaled female tilnithk started giving birth to a litter of four black/blue and white kittens. Her breath came out in fast pants and she meowed loudly with pain. It took the female about two hours to give birth and afterwards she was still with her kittens around her mewling softly. The fluffy white female was injured but she still cleaned and fed her kittens when she could finally move. Xander mewled and pawed at one of the tiny grey/white kittens they could almost fall right through the cage bars, pity they were too young to do anything. The silver female had two weeks to feed and care for her kittens before she too was butchered up for some spoiled princess’ dinner. It was sad to watch the kittens cry and it was heartbreaking to listen to those cries get softer with each day. After three days of mewling the kittens were taken away to the backroom never to be seen again or heard.

Xander really hated it here and he was really starting to dislike his fellow man. Xander licked at his copper scaled paw and started to brood, what was he going to do? His time was already halfway gone and he still needs to find three people to . . . help him. Maybe help him. He still couldn’t decide what would be worse. Bonding with men he did not know or getting violated by a gang of men . . . No he had to find another way, he wasn’t going to take someone’s choice away from them just to save himself. Not like he’d find anyone anyway. Xander eyed the people that walked by, all of them in their dull brown and off white clothes, or their green and purple finery. Just the small village people making their rounds, buying food, chatting about their insignificant little lives. None of them looked trustworthy enough to bond with much less have sex with, none of them would help Xander get home. Xander could feel hope slipping so when someone came to buy him for the royal dinner he wasn’t surprised. He didn’t go without a fight though . . . the man who bought him and the fresh meat with him would forever carry his scratches on his ugly mug.

*

Xander watched is disgust as evil butcher lady happily sliced up another one of his sort of brethren. Already enough for a feast was hanging up on the hooks ready for cooking. Xander watched blood rush off the table as the woman slit open another cat-lizard, the blood rushed across the floor and under his wooden cage. Gross.

Xander looked at all the empty cages and resigned himself to what was going to come. He had watched other tilnithk much bigger then Xander snarl, claw, bite, and try and shred the butcher’s arms but the woman wore long leather gloved when handling her prey. Xander had watched one green feline almost make an escape only to be skewered by the evil butchers thrown knife. Xander didn’t hold much hope for himself doing any better at escaping. Xander could see the woman was almost done skinning the large grey tom and was preparing himself to die fighting when a loud voice echoed in the room. “I have a cat on Earth, as a pet, a companion! You’re not supposed to EAT your CAT!”

Xander almost fainted he was so relieved, maybe Mr. Cat-lover would help him? When the guy walked toward his cage Xander’s heart started to pound. ‘Oh, god, oh, god, what should I do? Think cute! Cute mode.’ Xander uncurled his body, yawned, and stretched. Looking up at the man Xander hoped him looked sad and adorable instead of dorky and scared shit-less. He was startled when the man picked him up so gently, truthfully he was expecting the guy to pick him up by the scruff like other customers do. When soft hands started petting him Xander couldn’t stifle the purr even if he wanted to. Xander was so relaxed in the strange man’s arms he uncurled his tail and let it split into four, he hadn’t let it do that since the first day. Instead of making the ‘I’m a poisonous snake stay back’ sound, his rattles made a content white noise almost like pebbles swishing in a wooden pipe. Xander was just starting to feel safe when a harsh hand snatched him away from the loud man. “Hey!”

‘No! I’m NOT going to be soup!’ Xander was just getting ready to fight for his life when the loud angel of mercy reached out for him to take him back. The evil butcher lady looked confused as she held Xander over the bloody cutting board. “Want small brown? I skin? Rich sweet taste soup?”


“No! No, you not skin! Give back! Now! Mine!” Xander wanted to laugh at the good impression his loud angel of mercy made but feared if he did it would make him sound like a sick or crazed animal. Curling up to his savior Xander purred and rubbed his face against the guy’s jacket. “I’m keeping him.”

Best thing Xander heard since he got on this stupid planet. Xander continued to purr and rub his face against the guy’s jacket until his cheek grazed a patch with the word ‘Stargate’ and ‘Atlantis’ on it. ‘Like the lost city?’

“Those stupid underdeveloped cretins! Eating cats! Dogs I would understand but cats? No wonder they don’t have any tech for use to look at! Them with their pea shooters and cat-soup! How do I know what I had earlier is really chicken? And that chocolate, it could have been just a special mud from some cave! I’m not going to eat here, Teyla. I want to leave NOW.”

The pretty bronze skinned woman patted the yelling man on the arm. “You must calm yourself Rodney. I do not understand your anger, did your people never eat ‘cat’?”

Rodney wrinkled his nose. “I suppose the mental ones did.”

“They have many tilnithk here Rodney. If they are not managed they can breed and take over this land. If you do not wish to eat the soup you don’t have to.” Teyla said softly.

Xander was a bit disappointed that Rodney-the-loud was done ranting only to have him start up louder then ever when they reach the dinning area. “I CAN’T BELIEVE THEM! COOKING CATS!”

“Rodney, please take a breath and think clearly. We are among a different culture, many things are different.”

When they got to the new room Xander took in its large space and the many people seated on the floor. He ducked down into Rodney’s arms, there were a lot of people here including the evil medicine doctor.

“Look.” Xander let out a startled meow when he was thrust into a handsome brunet man’s hands. Hands that were just as gentle as the ones he left.

“Cute.” The guy grinned as he started scratching the good spots behind Xander’s ear and under his chin. Xander purred.

“Oh! A baby tilnithk.” Xander’s head snapped around at the high voice interrupting his petting. Sissy little crown, pink dress, and flowing blond curls. The princess. It’s the bitch who ate the silver mother cat! Xander hissed loudly and tried to claw the girl’s tiny nose off. “Beast!” She butt hopped backwards her eyes wide and frightened. Xander watched her sit herself far from him and hissed whenever she looked his way. Xander purred loudly as the hazel eyed brunet petted him and called him a ‘Good kitty’ into his ear. Hazel eyes looked up at Rodney thankfully as the man sat down. “Who’s cat?”

“Apparently it was to be my dinner.” Xander purred, not anymore.

“Looks a little undercooked, McKay.” And damned happy about it!

“I’m not eating a cat.” Xander looked at Rodney with shinning eyes, ‘I think I’m in like.’

*

Xander worried from his spot in Rodney’s arms. It was a shock to find out the group of four didn’t live on the planet and it was even more of a shock when they turned on the vertical blue puddle. Xander didn’t really want to go though the ‘event horizon’ as Rodney put it but he wanted to stay on planet eat-Xander less. So he watched worriedly as Rodney and John fought over taking him with them or setting him free into the wild. “Come on!”

“No.”

“But-”

“No.”

“Sheppard!”

“No, McKay.”

“Fine! You say no to this little face!” Xander widened his eyes as much as possible and let them water hoping tears would crack the leader’s resolve. Xander even tried to get his lip to quiver but that was a puppy thing so instead he let out soft pitiful mewls. Xander could see John’s resolve cracking and was sure he would say yes so he let out another sad kitten sound. It only took a few more pleading words from Rodney and another soft mewl from Xander to break John’s resolve. Tucked into Rodney’s jacket Xander curled up for a nap, one problem solved now he just needed to stop the damn curse.

**
**

Review!

MerKat: I wrote a sex scene already for Xander and his chosen. This is the story that will be wrapped around it. Hope you like it!
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