This Isn't the Speech
... this is pre-shovel
May 2, 2005 1:12 PM
Buffy needed to find out more about Giles' girlfriend, and wasn't that a trip to think about Giles having a girlfriend, before she embarked on the notorious shovel speech. She was going to respect Willow's wishes and stay away for a bit, even though it killed her, and went to the next best person.
She knocked on Draco's door and waited patiently.
Draco opened the door. He frowned when he saw Buffy looking so serious.
"Oh bollocks. What has Pevensie done now?"
Buffy's eyebrow went up. "You know, I'm pretty sure my mother said that so many times, except with my name and no accent. Never mind. I'm not here for Pevensie. I'm here for you. More importantly, your brain."
Draco took a step backwards. She did not look like a zombie. "I'm not letting you eat my brain."
"Ew. I need information, you moron." Buffy stepped past him and went further into his rooms. "You busy or do I get to tie you down to get what I want?"
"I thought we agreed we weren't going to date."
Draco frowned at her. She glared.
"Fine, but my clothes are staying on. Say what you mean and stop dancing around the subject. You lot from America can be so vague at times."
Buffy shrugged. "I need to know what your aunt's intentions are towards my Watcher before I give her the speech where I threaten to beat her over the head with a shovel if she hurts him."
"You had better not lay one hand on her," Draco said, voice rising. "She's the one who never goes out with anyone. Maybe I'm the one needing to talk to Giles about what happens to him if he breaks her heart."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't shout at me. Why would Giles go after your aunt for any reason? He wouldn't. He's like a father to me and if you even think about flashing your stick at him, you'll be getting the shovel."
"If you think you can get close enough to me before I can hex you, then bring it on, as you Yanks say. Aunt Andy happens to be fabulous and in his age bracket. That's why he likes her. She's not weak and girlish either. She's a Black," Draco said with pride. "And she's been through the worst of it. You threaten her, and she's liable to threaten you in return."
"Well good!" she snapped. "Maybe then she'll actually be able to keep up with Giles!"
"You just leave her alone. She's had to deal with zealots killing her husband and then her own sister killing her daughter. Andromeda's raising her grandson alone because the people I used to run with killed everybody else. She doesn't need you threatening to dismember her and wear her body parts."
Buffy crossed her arms and glared. "Because Giles has had such a wonderful life? He's not angelic either. He had to watch a demon he helped summon possess his girlfriend, who was later killed and dressed up for him by my
boyfriend after said boyfriend tortured him. Let's not get into the torture he's gone through through the years and how much he was instrumental at building this council up from the ground. Boo hoo for you!"
Draco glared at her. "Just don't threaten her. She's a Black. She might not take it well. Just like I'm not reacting well to your shouting in my face."
"Well I'm not reacting well to you insinuating that Giles is anything but a gentleman."
"Well, I don't like you insinuating that my aunt would purposefully set out to hurt someone. She never goes out. She never does anything but take care of Teddy and run that boarding house. She's the one who went running to help Willow when she was arrested."
"That's not the point of the shovel speech. I thought you got the shovel speech. Didn't you get the shovel speech?" she asked curiously. "Willow's second best at it past Xander."
"It's not to make threats? Because that's what I've been doing with my shovels."
Buffy rolled eyes. "Well it's that, but it's also to give approval. If you rate a shovel speech, you're okay. It's like our induction ceremony for significant others or whatever."
Draco sighed and began to pace. "And I thought Slytherins were weird."
"Hey," she retorted. "I am not weird. In no way am I weird. I'm the normal out of us two."
Draco turned to her and raised a brow. "You are a vampire slayer who dated not one, but two vampires. Two."
He held up two fingers to emphasize.
Buffy shuffled her feet a bit. "I wouldn't say I necessarily dated the second one."
"Look, you can give Andromeda the shovel speech, but don't come crying to me when she hexes your hair off of your head for it."
"Like she could even hit me."
"I mentioned the part where she's a Black, right? We're not know for lacking in wand skills. I would also imagine that growing up with Bellatrix Lestrange for an older sister makes one a bit quick as well."
Buffy smiled. "And I think defeating a hell goddess and the first evil makes me pretty damn quick too."
"I could stop you. Have, in fact." Draco smirked and wiggled his brows at her.
"I was blinded by my worry for my friends and I didn't want to hurt you." She returned the smirk. "But I would so take you."
"We'll have to test your little theory sometime. Because I think I could hurt you if I wanted to... which I don't."
Buffy snorted as she turned to leave. It was a damn shame they didn't have fireworks when they got together. "You wish, ferret boy."
He almost wished there was something there between them. But he'd take a good friend any day. It was not like he had a lot of those.