Everyone had been asking him if he'd met Anya yet. His resounding world of no was met with snickers, so he had to wonder what was wrong with the woman. Theo was a creature of curiosity. That was a trait that promised to get him into a great deal of trouble.
He spotted her at her desk near Mr. Giles' office. He'd been warned by the slayers about the note cards. He was curious to see if she would attempt to use them. Theo stuffed his hands in his pockets and strolled leisurely towards her desk.
Anya was dealing with yet another transfer request from, oh, everyone in Cleveland wanting to leave because of Andrew. Tough shit. He was their problem now. She set them aside so she could flash them in Giles' face, say he saw them, and then send them on.
A shadow appeared above her desk. She looked up. Giles wasn't in so he wasn't here for an appointment. "Yes?"
"Hello, are you Anya? I'm Theodore Nott. I'm the new-ish healer. We haven't met. I'm introducing myself. I trust you're having a good day?"
"No, I am not having a good day. I keep getting requests from people that they know will be denied but clutter my desk anyway. There is a Lurconis demon in another dimension that is requesting a slayer come kill his wife because he's too chicken to do it, and someone stole my frickin' note cards. So no, I am decidedly not having a good day." Anya made a face. She remembered this part though. "Thank you for asking."
"That's rather disappointing. I was rather hopeful of getting a glimpse of the note cards. I'd heard a great deal about them." Theo paused for a moment. "Is the Council in the habit of sending people to other dimensions?"
"Of course we aren't," Anya snapped slamming the papers down. "But everyone assumes that since I can dimension hop and that I'm a demon that I can handle this. No one bothered to quest superwitch a few offices down."
"You're a demon?"
That had failed to be mentioned.
"That's unexpected," Theo said, pulling a chair over and sitting down. "What sort?"
She kept putting the papers away and filing them. "Well I was a vengeance demon before I died. When I came back, I refused the power of the wish. I'm still a demon, just without the bloodthirsty revenge packed in."
"You... died? Bloody hell, how many of you have died and come back then?"
Anya paused to think. "Counting the vampires?"
"Seriously? What's the secret then? I'm more than mildly curious now."
She gave him a strange look. "Secret? Secret to what? To dying? Stick around with this group and it won't take long."
"Not to dying. To coming back. How was it done with you? Can I ask that? This is purely out of medical curiosity. I don't plan on actually attempting it."
"I should hope so. No one who killed themselves brought themselves back," Anya said with a shake of her head. Everyone wanted to know the exact same thing when she'd first come back. "Unlike with Buffy, I wasn't in the ground for a few months. I was gone for over a year. A demon brought me back. I'm not sure on the specifics. When I died, I was a human... again. I was brought back to be a demon queen. Hence, the transformation back into a demon and also brought back alive. I'd say ask the demon who did the raising but Buffy sort of killed him."
"Hmm. How unfortunate. Though certainly not for you. Unless you liked being dead."
Theo was fighting the urge to curse, but he'd have to play this very carefully. He knew what spell had been used to reanimate the slayer, but without an urn of Osiris, it was not possible. Besides that, it would be no good for what he intended. He was just wondering about the process. He was studying several different ones.
Anya finally looked the healer over. The was something... off about him. He was odd. "I don't imagine many people like being dead. It was strange. Coming back and being dressed up on altar surrounded by demons is also strange, but the dead thing even more so."
"Was there anything? When you were... did you go somewhere?"
Theo was hoping there was a hell and his parents were there currently. It would give him great satisfaction to think of his father, in particular, roasting away.
"Folkvangr. Ever heard of it?"
"Yes. From the Norse beliefs. You went there?" Then something else occurred to Theo, knowing what he knew of Folkvangr. "You died in battle."
The last was not a question. It was stated as fact with a bit of awe and no small amount of reverence.
Anya rolled her eyes, even though she felt strangely smug about the look she was getting. "With the First. One of the irksome bringers slashed me with a sword. For some reason, I still have the scar."
"You have... a scar..."
His mind had gone a bit blank. All Theo could do was gape at her.
"I would very much like to see it sometime. One of my hobbies is the attempt to remove scars made with supernatural elements. I, of course, understand if you would like to keep your battle scars. Not everyone does, though."
She regarded him carefully after that. "I hadn't the heart to ask Willow to try, but I would very much like for my form to not be so disfigured. I could pay you, and you would get the better end of the deal because last I heard the exchange rate would be in your favor."
"You aren't... disfigured. I would be happy to try, though. If that is what you want. No payment is necessary."
"Sexual gratification instead of monetary gratification? I suppose after the scar is removed we can work something out."
Theo blinked. Perhaps he had misunderstood.
"That's funny. For a moment I thought you were offering me sex as payment for healing."
Now he appeared even more odd. "I didn't know the thought of sex was humorous to you. How interesting."
Theo frowned. "You were? Good gods, no!"
Now she looked offended.
"If we have sex, it would be because we wanted to, not because you felt the need to pay me for something. Bloody everlasting hell."
Now she was skeptical. "You are willing to remove my scar and you want no payment in return? Do you often do good samaritan work?"
"I told you that it was one of my hobbies. The satisfaction comes from the achievement, and no, I am not in the habit of good-samaritaning."
"You have very strange hobbies," Anya replied after a moment. "And coming from me, I would take it as a very strong statement. Very well. I would like for you to remove my scar."
Theo nodded. "May I see it?"
"Certainly." With that Anya stood and pulled off her shirt and started to undo her bra. The scar only went to her left hip, so she supposed she wouldn't have to take off her pants. The scar was particularly gruesome at the place where the sword hit her spine. The Bringer didn't put enough energy into the blow and thankfully she was saved from being completely split in half.
Theo barely noticed that he'd seen her breasts just now. It registered, he committed it to memory, but he dwell upon it later. Theo knelt down at her back and looked at the scar. It was long, jagged in places - as if she had not been put back together properly. The one who rose her probably did not care much for her being humanly perfect. Demons tended to like scars. Theo gingerly traced a finger along it, from her hip and up her back.
"Well? Will your magic be enough to remove the scar?"
"I think I might be able to do it," Theo replied, suddenly distracted by her back.
His finger was still touching her shoulder on her scar. He stepped closer to her.
"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!"
Theo looked up with a start to see a teenaged girl slap her hands over her eyes and turn to run off.
"I was looking for Giles! Find a better place to have sex! Oh my God!"
Anya sighed and grabbed a post it note. "Note to self," she dictated out loud as she wrote. "Miranda was looking for Giles. Also not a lesbian."
"She's not a lesbian or you're not?" Theo asked.
His hand was still on her shoulder.
"I can find a woman beautiful, but I prefer my orgasms with men," she said as she stuck the post it note with the others she needed to give to Giles.
"Why would you have thought Miranda was a lesbian? Please tell me you aren't looking for dates for Willow."
He also filed the liking men away for processing at a later date.
"I'm just keeping tabs. Why? Should I give you a list of the Watchers I think are gay?"
"Sadly no," Theo replied. "Not interested... there."
"Then my only logical solution is that you are asexual because you refused offers of sex from myself as a woman and a list of men who will offer sex... supposedly."
"Your logic is flawed. You failed to take into account that I was looking at you professionally. If you would like me to look at you otherwise, I suppose I could."
Anya waved him off. "How many affairs occur in the office? There is no professionalism anymore when attraction and sex are involved."
Theo threw up his lands in surrender. Literally.
"I think you need to decide whether or not you want me having sexual thoughts about you. Make up your mind and do let me know."
Anya decided to put her clothes back on. "I'm not psychic so I can only influence your thoughts with my words and actions. I cannot force you to have them or not." After she pulled her shirt back on, she turned to Theo. "When can I come to you for your professional, non-sexual services?"
"I'm in the infirmary most days. Come whenever you like." Theo started to walk off then stopped. "You have very nice breasts. It's a pity to see them interrupted with a scar."
She gave him a small smile. "Well thank you. Hopefully you can remedy that."
Theo smiled at her. He could tell she was self conscious about the scar. He could understand that. A little too well, perhaps.