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Volume II: Burn

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This story is No. 2 in the series "Scriptificus Totalus". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: The continuing series posted on livejournal written by 5 authors crossing Buffy and Harry Potter and chronicling the rebuilding of the Watcher's Council in that universe.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > GeneralscriptificusFR18167318,59518307202,1341 Mar 1017 Jul 10Yes

A Vague Disclaimer is...

March 1, 2005 12:53 PM

He was not sure how he felt about the fact that the patriarch of the council, Mr. Giles, wanted to speak with him. This was either going to go very well or very badly. As Blaise approached the double doors, there was a note posted on the door. The secretary's desk was empty. He pulled it off and read it.

"Go in and wish at your own risk? What the bloody hell does that mean?" Shaking his head, Blaise knocked on the door.


After taking a deep breath, Blaise opened the door and entered into the office. "My name is Blaise Zabini, and I was told you wished to speak with me. According to this note, I was supposed to go ahead and enter." He held up the note between his fingers.

The man in front of him didn't look that terrifying, but he knew not to let that deceive him. His grandfather was in a wheelchair and was very soft spoken, but the one time he and his cousin had gotten into a fist fight, that wand had been out and he and Nico had been sailing across the yard before they could blink.

"Ah yes, Zabini. Just let me get my coat." Giles signed a document, rolled it, and sealed it with wax and a signet ring. He placed the scroll in the out basket. With that, he stood, and walked over to the door, where he pulled a duster off of a coat tree and put it on. "This way, please."

Blaise's first thought was that he was going to be murdered away from witnesses, and that explained why the secretary was out. He was comforted by the knowledge that Draco and perhaps Willow wouldn't be too happy if he died and revenge would be swift and harsh.

He still followed dutifully, prepared to grab his wand at a moment's notice. "Pardon me for asking, but where are we going and what are we going to talk about when we get there?"

"We are going out on the grounds," Giles responded, brusquely, "And we are going to speak on many varied subjects. I would prefer it if we were out of the building before I list them, as the walls have ears."

He indicated the two slayers that were coming up the staircase from the main floor.

"Miss Penshaw, Msiter Zabini and I are going for a short walk. I shall be unavailable for approximately one half hour."

Penshaw responded in the affirmative, and Giles opened the door and indicated that Blaise should walk through it.

Blaise was getting more and more nervous, and he most certainly did not like the idea of presenting his back to anyone who Blaise thought was going to kill him. There were no other options, though. He could either refuse and seem like a bastard right off or go and risk the possibility of copping it well before he wanted to.

He took the lesser of two evils and went first through the doorway, turning sideways as soon as he could to keep an eye on Mr. Giles. They continued down through the grounds, Blaise matching the long strides.

"Are we sufficiently far away from your listening walls?"

"I believe that we are," Giles stated. "But I'd like to be out of view of the windows; If I do end up having to kill you, I'd rather it be somewhere nobody will see."

At the look on Blaise's face, Giles started laughing. He was doing a fair job of suppressing it, but every now and again it came out in his conversation.. "I'm not going to kill you, Zabini," he snickered, "Not unless you do end up being an incubus."

He managed to get himself under some semblance of control, and he stated, "You have the slayers gossiping. Did you know that you're everything from a cad to a cassanova, and yes, before you ask, the topic of incubi was indeed brought up. So I did a little digging."

"Well shit," Blaise said without thinking. He was completely thrown off his game. No one had mentioned that Mr. Giles was a comedian or that he was rumored to be an incubus. He'd always joked it himself, but never thought anyone else had.

He cleared his throat. "Sorry for my language, but they think I'm an incubus? I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted."

"No one -- except for a few of the greener watchers -- thought you were actually an incubus. The girls can all tell to one degree or another when one is a demon. While the slayers are not worried about you, I have a few concerns with someone as... experienced as you having access to several impressionable, curious, and to be perfectly blunt, rash adolescent girls. I gather that you've already slept with Miss MacDougal, based on the beating she delivered unto you."

Blaise let out a laugh. "Let's get our facts straight, shall we? Magpie and I have history, yes. It stems from something that happened in school many, many years ago. It's not my fault she's not over it. Second, I can honestly say I have no interest in any of your slayers. I have a girlfriend I've been with for three years and she's quite the possessive witch. Your concerns are noted but not needed."

"Excellent. I am most pleased to hear that you are interested in witches in your own age group." Giles began walking toward the treeline. In a seeming non-sequitur, he asked, "Willow has, as I understand it, delivered the traditional 'Scooby Gang Shovel Speech, citing that a vague disclaimer is nobody's friend... Is that correct?"

Now he was moving from amused to cautious. "There was a variant with a shovel involved, yes. I already told you I'm not interested in your slayers, and the only thing between myself and Willow is harmless flirting. Unless you consider Draco to be one of the witches in my own age group, and if you do, I must confess that no, his arse is not safe."

He raised his eyebrow. "Draco and Willow can both take care of themselves. If Miss Abbott were to be come so upset that she is unable to do her duly assigned tasks, Willow will have to come out here with a machete to cut you from the vegetation, before delivering her quietus."

To make his point, he closed his eyes and concentrated.

Two vines sprouted from the earth and started to shoot their way up Blaise's legs.

Blaise shouted and nearly tipped over backwards, but managed to right himself at the last moment. Now he was just plain pissed. "Right. Just so you know, Abbott detests me. We knew each other in school and she knows exactly what I am like and has done everything to let me know that."

He grabbed his wand from his jacket and sent a stunning spell at the vines so they loosened their hold and he stepped away from them... and away from Giles. "You're not an idiot. You said you looked me up, so you know if I wanted to cause trouble, I would have already done so."

"Indeed. However, as you say, I am not an idiot. I am also not blind."

He looked at Blaise pointedly.

"I believe that I've said what I had wanted to say. Come along, we're going back up to the house." Giles started to walk up the driveway.

"Also," he said, "See that you escape to my office before any damage is done to you, should anyone decide to find out how 'yummy' or full of 'chocolatey goodness' you are against your will."

Blaise smirked as he put his wand away, confident the worst part of the talk was over. "I may not be an incubus and I may not be actively pursing anyone, but I guarantee I will never reject that sort of advance."

Giles raised an eyebrow. "I will be less than amused if I hear that you've broken a fourteen year old's maidenhead."

He made a face. Pevensie was fourteen, and that was just wrong. "I'm more than capable of derailing a young crush. If I need to, I'll enlist Pevensie's help."

Now it was Giles' turn to smirk. "That should be quite a show. I believe that we shall have to sell tickets."

"If you want a show, bring in Draco. He's one of the most possessive little bastards on the planet. I learned from an early age never to steal his hairbrush."

They'd continued walking and had reached the front door. "Now, are you done having your fun with me or do you wish to continue giving me heart attacks for your amusement?"

"I believe that I've raised your blood pressure enough for one day," he replied. "Besides, I have an appointment with a wizard by the name of Longbottom to prepare for."

Blaise made a face. "Right. That's my cue to leave. Word of caution though--move all your breakable items. They won't survive the visit."
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