March 21, 2005 11:42 AM
Blaise wanted to wait a bit before stalking off to completely blow up at Willow, but he couldn't. He'd been in a bad mood since Astoria had confronted him and now he was out for blood like a shark.
No one stopped him as he made his way through the council. He didn't even give her the luxury of knocking. Blaise just threw open the doors to her office.
"Where the hell do you get off fucking up my life?!"
The slayer who'd been talking with Willow gave a shout and threw a knife from somewhere on her person. It hit the door frame next to Blaise's head.
"The aim is still a little off, Hiran, but it's impressive that it was hidden in your sari. Why don't you leave Mr. Zabini and me alone for a bit, 'k?"
Hiran nodded as she flipped her long, dark brown braid off of her shoulder and moved cautiously towards the door. She pulled her knife out. "Apologies."
He didn't even pay attention to the slayer as she walked past him; Blaise kept glaring at Willow. Once the slayer left and closed the door, he moved forward. "You never answered my question."
"I haven't even seen you since I brought you back from Paris, and I heard you're rooming with Hannah. How is that of the bad?"
Blaise's jaw was clenched so hard he was worried he was going to crack his teeth. "You set Astoria Greengrass to watch me like I was a stray dog who doesn't know where I'm going, and I'm not so sure you're not doing it to keep Draco in check!"
"Well you told me not to have a slayer following you. She isn't a slayer, and she's apparently really good at stalking. Why do you think I'm doing this?"
"That's not the point!" he shouted. "I don't care that she's not a slayer. I don't give a damn who you set to follow me, it's the point that you set someone out to follow me! Do you know how close I came to having my life ended because she couldn't keep her mouth shut?"
Blaise started pacing. "I'm losing trust in people and that means my family is losing trust in people. Everyone knows I've got Greengrass, of all people, following me. Following me!
If you have the balls to fuck up my life, at least have the balls to do it yourself!"
Black burst forth in her like a water balloon hitting concrete. She didn't stand so much as floated up. Hair and eyes black, she studied him. Her fear for him was making her unstable. His anger was making it worse.
He threw his hands up in the air. "I get no response? You put my life in danger and I don't get as much as a 'shit, I'm sorry'?"
"YOUR LIFE IS ALREADY IN DANGER!"
Willow was panicking. That had not been her real, normal voice. She could not calm down. Normally, she could beat the dark back. It was not working right now. Her worry was overriding that. His anger and upset would not let her.
"My last name is Zabini! You think I don't fucking know I've had a price on my head since I was born? I KNOW
"I CAN'T STAND THAT!" Help help help help help.
She could feel the veins pulsing under her skin. Willow tried to will herself into a state of calm. It wasn't working, and she panicked even more. The panic made her even more unstable and out of control. She was going to be sick or cry or hurt someone - possibly all three.
The rational part of Blaise's mind, which admittedly wasn't a large part, was telling him to stop yelling and try to calm down because it wasn't helping Willow stay calm. But Blaise passed rational the moment stepped into his game."THEN FUCK OFF BECAUSE IT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE!
Her anger turned to pain, and she utterly lost control of herself. Willow let out a scream of rage that busted the windows out of her office. She shot up and backwards, smacking into the ceiling before falling to the floor. She laid there on her stomach, stunned. She'd failed. She had lost herself again. Only for a moment, but still.
Maybe she did need to be locked up.
That thought bothered her greatly. She wanted to beat this, to be better, but her emotions tended to be so unsteady since releasing the essence of the slayer. There were too many people she was tied into. They bled into her, affected her.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
She was now crying, and Willow was not exactly sure who she was speaking to. It was the same broken shuddering she'd done after hurting Dawn that time she'd hit rock bottom from seeing Rack so often.
He'd pushed her too hard. He knew that, but one of his faults was pushing too much. Blaise took a seat on the couch and put his head in his hands. He knew he should go see if Willow was all right, but right now he was a combination of embarrassed, ashamed and worried out of his mind.
Blaise took a few deep breaths to calm down.
"I keep forgetting that the situation here isn't normal. Witches born into our magical world know about my background and what I do. People who are brought in to the world are warned away. One person who was warned away didn't listen. He had me followed. The day after someone saw him following me I had to watch while they were tortured until they revealed what they saw. They shipped him to his family in different boxes."
He stood and went over to Willow, kneeling by her. "When I say stay out of my life, I'm not doing it in a joking manner."
"I can't," she whispered, moving a hand across the floor to try to get up.
Red energy crackled across her skin and Willow wimpered. She felt so weak, and she was terribly afraid.
"When I like someone, I can't stay away. God, how many times did I help save Cordy? And I couldn't stand her? Sure, she turned out to be okay, but I spent the better spart of my life being picked on by her. I actually like you."
"Well then let me spell it out for you. If they could, the Ministry would gladly haul my arse in for questioning because the endless amount of dirt I have on them. I fence illegal potions and artifacts that have many people coming after my head. I've been doing this since I was sixteen. I know the dangers of it. Trust me to know what I'm doing and make mistakes on my own."
"I don't want that for you. I think on some level Draco knows, but he doesn't know how deep it goes. He doesn't know you help a few people who are trying to kill us."
Blaise chuckled. "I guarantee you'll know when he finds out." He sighed, knowing that if he was laughing now that it meant the actual reaction was going to be hell.
"I'm going to give you a little insight on my life. My father, along with my uncle, is a leader in innovative charms for not only the Italian Ministry but for other defense ministries across Europe. His charms have helped numerous countries battle dark witches and wizards. My mother was named one of the most dangerous potions creators because her potions have no taste, no smell, no visible poison properties and cannot be traced. There's no telling how many people she's killed. I'm a pro at walking the line and I'm an expert in the double cross. Draco knows that."
"Did you know that when a slayer gets hurt, I feel it now? When I get close to people, when I care, I get tied to them as well?" Willow asked quietly. "Your anger was like a wet blanket. I covered me, it was heavy, and I could not get out from under it. I know Draco knows, but I don't know if he understands anymore. I worry that you two are going to break one another's hearts."
"Then let me deal with it. I'm an adult and so is he. I realize you have an investment in him, but stop trying to control me to control him."
"What happens if I can't do that, Blaise? What happens when they hurt you and Draco loses it then I freak out and kill everyone? Because I honestly worry about that - triggering my darkness and not coming back. I was ready to die and take everybody with me last time. I don't why I was spared. I just know I'm not finished."
He didn't know what to say to that. It was a worst-case scenario. He wasn't a positive person to begin with, but he didn't like to think of the absolute worst. "I guess we're shit out of luck then."
Blaise couldn't see a situation that would make him change his current ways and that was bound to irritate a few people.
"As it is, I'm pretty sure Greengrass won't be following me. I think I pissed her off beyond reasoning. I'm good at that."
"You did, and I shouldn't have asked her to begin with. Not that I really did. She just knew. I think not all the, um, things that fire are firing within her."
Blaise snorted. "It's a family thing. I try not to think about that family. You're probably lucky that it was her following me on the first run. There's rumor that Flint's been running around laying claim to her. Quickest way to end up in a ditch is go against Flint."
"I think she's sorta been in love with him since she was a little girl. I get that feeling. I backed off because of that feeling. Well, that and I am just not ready yet. It's kind of a shame because she's sexy."
He rolled his eyes. "Disgusting. She's a decent kisser but she's too high maintenance."
"Hypocrit. Wait. You've kissed her too?"
Blaise smirked, his tense shoulders relaxing. They were still on the floor and he wasn't raging mad any longer. He usually had to have a shouting match, explain himself a bit, and then he was calmer. However, he wasn't used to someone shouting back. Draco did sometimes, but he knew not to get into with Draco too heavily.
In the end, Blaise dodged the question. "So what now? What are you going to tell people? I can't imagine you have explosions like that often."
"The last time I had one like that we were in Los Angeles. Before that it was when we were fighting the First and Buffy had jumped into another dimension and I was trying to access my power to get her back."
Willow frowned at that memory. She's drained Anya and Kennedy to get that portal open.
"Well you certainly don't do things by half, do you?" Blaise asked lightly, standing and offering her a hand.
Willow took it, but her legs were still wobbly. Blaise had to grab onto her to keep her on her feet. She took the opportunity to hug him and rest her cheek on his chest. She did care. She cared more than she probably should. Both he and Draco were going to cause her a lot of grief. But would she trade that? Not likely. Everyone she truly loved caused her grief. It never made her love them any less.
The door opened. "Willow? We heard a crash. Is everything... oh. Nevermind. Sorry."
The door was closed abruptly.
"Great," Willow remarked. "Now the rumor will be we were having literally explosive sex in my office."
His arms around her were more to hold her up than to hug her back. "In this instance, I really don't mind, although I've never have literally explosive sex with anyone. You're my first."