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Don't Know Why

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Summary: Willow meets someone that could change her life forever

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Anita Blake > Willow-Centered > Pairing: JamillessthanlucidFR1521,651048,87415 Jan 0315 Jan 03Yes



He was a a little shy of six feet which made me think he was just right for a going to the beach and having him wrapped around me. I loved the beads in his hair I played with them while we talked about everything and nothing all at once. I told him about my life in Sunnydale and how I was dealing with things now. He told me about being a trouble maker then becoming Richard's skoll. I wasn't up on my werewolf folklore so I guess that meant bodyguard.

I told him my fear of frogs he laughed and started chasing me around the beach impersonating a frog. I laughed so hard I fell mid run. He tripped and landed on top of me. I looked into his eyes and saw so many things. Many things I knew where reflected in my eyes. He closed the distance between out lips and I shuddered when his lips came in contact with mine. At the first tease of his tongue on my lips, I parted them. He stroked the inside of my mouth as if this fire wouldn't burn us alive. I wrapped my arms around him and urged him closer deepening the kiss by joining in the exploration of his mouth.

Out across the endless sea
I would die in ecstasy
But I'll be a bag of bones
Driving down the road alone

He was big, warm and heavy but I enjoyed the fell of his body against mine. I wanted more, he agreed whole heartedly if the way he started pulling at my clothes was any indication. I wasn't far behind him, I knew his shirt would never be the same since I heard the buttons pop off. I laughed at my own daring. He groaned as I wiggled beneath him trying to ease the tension somehow. After that I couldn't think. Everything was on sensory overload, I was just one big ball of need.


"Willow, I've never..."

"Yeah, me neither...that was." I don't think proper speech was possible at the moment I was till sprawled on his chest his hand was caressing my back, it was soothing, I was getting sleepy. Then I remember him saying something about sand...we were on a public beach anyone could be watching.

"Jamie, I think we should get dressed now before we give some poor jogger an eyeful." He laughed. I smacked him lightly on the chest.

"But you are such a pretty eyeful." I blushed

"I don't know how you can blush after all we have done this night." I blushed harder and he laughed harder. His laugh rumbling beneath me was starting to do delicious things to my lower belly. I knew we had to get dressed before we went back to those activities. I got up and started searching for my clothes while handing him his.

Once we dressed, I kissed him one last time on that beach under a brightening sky. He grabbed my hand as we walked away from the beach, each knowing that we couldn't have stayed there forever. No matter how much we wanted morning not to come.

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind

"Come with me." He didn't know what he was asking or maybe he did.

"You know I cant, I have to help Buffy, and everyone else. They are depending on me, I have to stay and fight along side my friends. They deserve that much." I wanted so badly to go but I had to make it up to them for trying to kill them. Giving up my happiness seemed too big a price to pay but I had no choice they deserved me loyalty. Even when Jamil had my heart.

"Willow making yourself unhappy wont erase everything you did. I know that, you know that. I think they would want you to be happy." Jamil wouldn't let this go. I knew he was right but that didn't change the fact that I felt guilty.

"I cant."

"You wont. There's a difference." I almost hated him for making me choose but I knew he was right.

I nodded, "You're right. I wont. I wont leave them to die alone on the hellmouth, part of it is because of my guilt but the other is because no matter how much I love you they came first." I knew that had to hurt. I knew he was angry at my stubbornness I knew this would be the last time he would reach out to me but I knew I couldn't give in.

"I don't think your stubbornness or guilt will keep you happy or warm at night but its your choice, just don't expect me to wait for you. I know life goes on." He walked away, never once looking back. Maybe he knew his resolve would waiver if he did, all I knew was that he took something of mine with him. I wondered if I would come to understand what in time of just feel empty. Suddenly my choice didn't seem so good but it was too late now he was gone.

Something has to make you run
I don't know why I didn't come
I feel as empty as a drum
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come


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