Talk the Talk Xander Version
Don't own Stargate Btvs or any of the sayings as they come from Spiderman Rocky, Indepedence Day and Star Wars
Not quiet as good as the Buffy one but still fun write.
Xander looked around the gate room and was impressed despite himself. The place looked really cool and was something that he would have to tell some of the mini watchers. “So this is what the big deal is about then?” He asked as he looked it over.
“Yep.” Jack returned popping his p at the end. “That there is the intergalactic superhighway.”
“Huh, cool. So you think that adding Slayers and Watchers to your gate teams and research teams would help you out some according to what Giles said.”
“That’s what the egg heads and people that outrank me say. It also lets you see the stuff we find and make people happy.” Jack pointed out to the one eyed man.
“And happy bosses means we don’t have to see who’s weapon is sharper, pointier, or louder.” Xander agreed with him. “I think that our people could do a lot for you guys actually. I mean snakes and wannabe gods and walking incubators that think they’re tough guys? I think that we can help you out. The whole laser gun thing will take some of them a while to get used to though.” He added as he thought of some of the Slayers.
A flash of light and a woman dressed in robes appeared before them. “Another that will fight the tide?” The woman questioned curiously examining Xander.
“Huh?” Xander looked to the soldiers hopefully for an explanation.
“Our local higher being that likes to bedazzles us with her words of wisdom that she feels the need to impart onto us.” Jack explained to the man.
“Right,” Xander said before turning back to the woman. “So what amazing words of wisdom do you have to impart onto me? Anything that will help me score with some of the hot soldier girls here? It might mean my first normal girlfriend.” The one-eyed man said with hope in his voice. His face suddenly changed into a wary one though a moment later. “That is unless you’re planning on hitting on me that is.”
Jack snorted at the mental image of Oma actually trying to hit on someone. “I see you have some things in common with Daniel then.” He quipped.
“Hey, it’s not my fault.” Xander complained to the other man. “It’s just something I have to deal with. Having normal looking girls turn into some kind of thing that either wants to kill or sacrifice me. It is in no way my fault though.” He defended himself.
“Right,” Jack drawled out unconvinced at this.
“Anyways, words of wisdom lay them on me.” Xander said ignoring the colonel.
Oma nodded to the human. “The young fish does not overcome the current, it must swim with the current to live. The lamb does not challenge the lion to battle.”
Xander grinned at her with a wolfish grin that Jack remembered Buffy having had before she started back at the woman. "I don’t know about that but to quote Darth Vader I gotta say, I find your lack of faith disturbing. Us humans are a lot tougher than you give us credit for.”
Oma blinked at this before starting again. “Victory for you is not in sight to be victorious you would need the impossible. Victory eludes those that cannot see.”
“Great, now higher beings are giving me blind jokes.” Xander complained to the room with mock hurt. “Well lady as Rocky says it: No, maybe I can't win, maybe the only thing I can do is just take everything he's got. But to beat me, he's gonna have to kill me, and to kill me, he's gonna have to have the heart to stand in front of me, and to do that, he's gotta be willing to die himself and I don't know if he's ready to do that. I don't know, I don't know." Xander grinned at the woman with a grin. “Tell me lady, are those snakeheads really willing to go to the mat with us and fight us till they can’t fight anymore?”
“You speak well, but do you have the heart in it to overcome what must be done?” Oma returned as she stared at the human. “Time destroys all, from star to dust the blade falls the warriors tires.”
“Maybe that just means that you got to get back on the bike in try again. Or as Mick would say: You’re gonna eat lightning, and your gonna crap thunder!" Xander shot back at the higher being.
Oma frowned as she was once again rebuffed. “The child has not the strength to move that which the adult cannot.”
Xander looked at her as if to ask her if she was serious before he fired back at her. “Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. Yoda may have only been a puppet but he had the right idea on that.”
“Power makes not one strong.” Oma reminded the man.
“Ah,” Xander said holding his hand up, “but as Uncle Ben told Peter all of those years ago: With great power, comes great responsibility. We don’t turn away from our responsibilities we meet them head on.”
“The rabbit does not beat the wolf.” Oma tried
“As Yoda said a long time ago: Do or do not, there is no try.”
“The mind sees not all that there is. The wisdom to see is not there.”
"And as Spock told people: Logic is the beginning of wisdom; not the end.” Xander retorted at her. “Personally I don’t know why you higher beings like to hide behind your little saying and what not. Do you actually manage anything or do you merely sit on high and laugh at the little people that dare to oppose what you consider idiotic? We’re not gods or whatever the heck you guys are we live in the real world and not some made up world to hide in. As President Thomas Whitmore said in the Independence Day movie: It's a fine line between standing behind a principle and hiding behind one. You can tolerate a little compromise, if you're actually managing to get something accomplished. What are you accomplishing though? You guys seem to be just as stuck up as the snake heads in your own way. So any respect you might have had in becoming one with the force or whatever is pretty much lost when you won’t help others.”
The woman regarded him for a moment before talking once again. “The wind will destroy all of the embers of the fire scattering them and extinguishing them.”
"We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive!” Xander quoted back at her. “And if you don’t understand that then maybe you should go back to staring at your belly button again.”
Oma nodded before she disappeared as she realized that this was another child that would not allow themselves to understand what it was that they did.
Xander shook his head while Jack turned the recorder off. He was so getting a copy of this for his office. It was going to go right next to his one of Summers mouthing off with the Ancient, the picture of cave girl Carter, and his collection of Simpson DVD’s.