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Insta-Gater Verse

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Summary: Series of connected Xander/Stargate drabbles written for 100 Prompts for the Crossovers100 community on LiveJournal. Will include both SG-1 and Atlantis

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Xander-CenteredLightningSkiesFR1524,1962185,71919 Mar 1024 Apr 10No

037 - Sound

Insta-Gater Verse
lightning_skies


Prompts – crossovers100 #037 - Sound
Disclaimer – I don't own BtVS or Stargate
Warning – Post S7 BtVS, Season 2ish SGA

=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= Prompt 037 - Sound =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=

It was a gorgeous morning in the ex-lost city of Atlantis. The sun was peeking over the horizon infusing the world with light and color once more as it warmed the air. Little alien birds swirled in the winds twisting through the spires of the city, singing their chipper twittering songs... and they weren't the only ones.

"Good Morning, Good Morning to you and you and you and you, Good Morning, Good Morning, We've talked the whole night through, Good Morning, Good Morning to you." Weir greeted SGA-1 as they assembled in the conference room for yet another hastily scheduled emergency meeting.

Xander smiled as he took the chair that had customarily become his during meetings and returned her greeting cheerily, enjoying himself immensely. "It's gonna be a bright bright sun shiny day."

Rodney, who had yet to make any attempt at meaningful communication beyond non-verbal grunts and growls that morning and who possessed a greater than normal ability to tune out the world, hadn't noticed anything off about the city's inhabitants yet and goggled at them both in early-morning glazed shock for a moment. He turned to Xander and Sheppard incredulously, intending to accuse them of being childish enough to involve the city's leader in a prank, but didn't expect what actually came out of his mouth. "What's this? What's this? There's something very wrong. What's this? There's people singing songs. What's this?"

John just looked tiredly from the calmly seated Weir and amused Xander to Rodney, who was still standing in the doorway gaping and practically vibrating in his agitation. He slouched in his chair and scrubbed his hands over his face in aggravation. It was too early for this. "All I want is a proper cup of coffee, brewed in a proper copper pot. I may be off my dot but I want a proper cup from a proper copper pot. Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots they are no use to me. If I can't have a proper cup of coffee then I'll have a cup of tea."

Sheppard's face twisted up in distaste at the thought of drinking tea as a substitute for his usual coffee. He was a firm believer that the only reason life in the Pegasus galaxy was even remotely bearable was because the Daedalus constantly supplied them with vast amounts of bulk packed coffee and chocolate. If they ever ran out, he suspected the scientists would systematically seek out and destroy every hive ship in the galaxy, fueled only on sheer frustration and withdrawal aggression- and that was only if the military presence hadn't snapped and found a way to blow up the whole city first. Hell, he, Rodney and Xander would probably lead the charge. SGA-1's allotment was triple that of any other SGA team, and Ronon and Teyla didn't suffer from an addiction to any of Earth's foods. Which, now that he thought about it, meant that the three of them were each consuming an entire team's ration. That couldn't be healthy. It was probably the real reason why Rodney was vibrating and Xander was always so excessively energetic and chipper.

"I believe that this meeting was called due to the strange behavior that seems to have taken over the city?" Teyla asked as she took her seat between John and Elizabeth. "It appears that Ronon and myself may be the only one's within the city to remain unaffected. I have encountered no others that are still communicating normally. I spoke briefly to my people on the mainland and their speech is likewise unaltered."

Ronon crossed his arms and nodded. It seemed unfair to John that someone who didn't tend to use his ability to talk at all still possessed the option to talk normally.

Rodney was properly horrified about the situation, and when Meredeth Rodney McKay was disturbed the first thing he always did was make sure everyone around him was well aware of his loud displeasure. "And I'm, I am feeling a little peculiar, so I wake in the morning and I step outside, and I take deep breath and I get real high, and I scream from the top of my lungs - WHAT'S GOIN' ON?"

Xander shifted guiltily and tried not to meet anyone's eyes. Which meant, of course, that everyone was watching him intently. "I'm sorry so sorry, I'm sorry it's like this, I'm sorry so sorry, I'm sorry we do this"

"What have you done? What have you done? What have you done now?" Rodney practically growled in his face. If he couldn't be sarcastic then he was damn well going to find another way to express just how irritated he was. Invading the younger man's personal space aggressively would have to do for now. He usually found it to be beneath his intelligence level to resort to physical intimidation, mostly because with his body type it was often ineffective, but without the ability to fully flex his well honed and razor sharp wit and brutal tongue, it would do.

Xander tried to defend himself as he leaned back in his seat, away from the looming Canadian. "I swear I never meant for this, I never meant... Don't look at me that way. It was an honest mistake" And it really was. How was he supposed to know that absentmindedly fiddling with the unidentified ancient device he'd found lying around the city while reminiscing about the Scoobie's adventures and 'Hellmouth the Musical' in particular was a recipe for disaster.

The whole singing and dancing thing was a once in a lifetime experience, not really the type of thing he expected to be repeating. Thankfully, the dancing seemed to have been left out this time, so there was no risk of spontaneously combusting Atlanteans. That would have been hard to explain to the world leaders back on Earth. Oops, I burned your best and brightest to a Broadway worthy crisp. Xander had breathed a sigh of relief when he realized that he was singing commercially released songs and wasn't going to be spouting off his darkest secrets again.

Rodney just huffed in annoyance and gestured emphatically. "You tell me that you're sorry, didn't think I'd turn around and say, 'it's too late to apologize. It's too late.'"

Weir sent Rodney a quelling look and sang earnestly to the assembled team, "Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you." She looked each of them in the eye for a moment, making sure they heard her confidence and plea for maturity. "Together we'll stand, divided we'll fall. Come on now people, let's get on the ball and work together. Come on, come on. Let's work together"

Teyla looked from the leader of Atlantis to her affected teammates and back. "What could have caused this? Xander if you feel you are at fault you must have some idea of what happened."

"No matter where I stay, I find my way back home and I'll never forget those days..." He began slowly trying to express himself as clearly as possible in the situation. It was frustrating that the singing was constant. At least in Sunnydale the demon had let them talk normally in between verses. "All of my memories keep you near. In silent moments, imagining you here. All of my memories keep you near, In silent whispers, silent tears. Made me promise I'd try, To find my way back in this life. Hope there is a way, To give me a sign you're okay. Reminds me again it's worth it all, So I can go home."

Xander opened his mouth for a moment, but shut it again with a frustrated frown. He thought for a moment before continuing, "I can smell the chemicals. Blinding me with science - Science! Science! Science!" He gestured at Rodney and put the ancient device he'd found on the table. After the initial activation it hadn't reacted to anything he'd thought at it, the damn thing just sat and smugly glowed at him. "She blinded me with science and hit me with technology."

"You see my problem is this: I'm dreaming away, wishing that heroes- they truly exist. I cry, watching the days, can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways. But to lose all my senses. That is just so typically me. Baby, oh- Oops!...I did it again." There was another long pause, Xander flushed in embarrassment for singing a Brittany Spears song as John snickered and Elizabeth's stern expression was betrayed when her lips twitched.

"Memory, all alone in the moonlight. I can smile at the old days, I was beautiful then. I remember the time I knew what happiness was, let the memory live again." He looked around to see if anyone had understood what he was trying to say.. or sing as the case may be. He sighed and tried again. "This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some people started singing it not knowing what it was..." --- "Don't hesitate. Put your finger on the button..." --- "So just pull the trigger..... As my life flashes before my eyes"

Ronon spoke up in his gravelly voice, "You were thinking about your home as you touched the ancient device."

Xander nodded enthusiastically. Ronon didn't talk much, but he made up for it by watching carefully instead and the result was an amazingly perceptive man who didn't rely on what was verbalized to understand what a person was saying. Xander had never been so grateful for that ability as he was now. Even he wouldn't have been able to untangle his garbled mess of verse and he already knew what he was trying to say.

"But why would such a memory cause the whole city to be forced into singing their words?" Teyla elaborated curiously.

"It's all been done, it's all been done, it's all been done before." Xander tapped his temple and then his lips. For good measure he waved his hand out from his mouth to emphasize the singing.

They all stared at him in amazement as Teyla voiced the question they all wanted to ask but where afraid to sing, "You have been forced to use musical communication before?"

Xander grinned with amusement in his eyes, "Spectacular, spectacular! No words in the vernacular, can describe this great event, you'll be dumb with wonderment- The hills are alive, with the sound of music..."

Ronon spoke again. "Why were we the only two spared?"

Xander frowned in thought before offering, "There is just one moon and one golden sun and a smile means friendship to everyone. Though the mountains divide and the oceans are wide. It's a small, small world."

"You believe that only those from earth are affected." Teyla interpreted and Xander just nodded and then shrugged helplessly.

"Your poison running through my veins, your poison." He added.

"Only those who have travelled from Earth naturally possess the ancient gene." Rodney huffed and Teyla smiled at him indulgently as she continued. "...and the rest of the expedition team has been given the gene therapy."

John looked pleadingly from the device to Rodney. "Sometimes I can never tell if I got something after me. That's why I just beg and plead for this curse to leave me."

Xander snorted and rolled his eyes. "Paranoia, Paranoia, Everybody's coming to get me. Just say you never met me."

Everyone ignored his teasing and looked to Rodney for his reaction. He crossed his arms and stared back defiantly. "I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty. I've got whozits and whatzits galore. You want thingamabobs? I got twenty. But who cares? No big deal. I want more."

Weir caught his attention, and spoke reprovingly. "Help, I need somebody, help, not just anybody, help, you know I need someone, help. Help me if you can, I'm feeling down and I do appreciate you being round. Help me, get my feet back on the ground, won't you please, please help me?"

Rodney looked slightly chagrined, but lifted his chin arrogantly. "I admit that in the past I've been a nasty. They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch- But you'll find that nowadays I've mended all my ways- Repented, seen the light, and made a switch, to this, and I fortunately know a little magic. It's a talent that I always have possessed and dear lady, please don't laugh, I use it on behalf of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic). Poor unfortunate souls- in pain, in need. This one longing to be thinner, that one wants to get the girl... and do I help them? Yes, indeed. Those poor unfortunate souls- so sad, so true."

"Rodney. Can you fix it?" Teyla interrupted his self-inflation impatiently.

He snorted confidently, "This is what you give me to work with? Well, honey, I've seen worse. We're going to turn this sow's ear Into a silk purse." Scowling about the terrible mangling of his arrogant declaration, he abruptly snatched the device, holding it pinched between his fingers in distaste as he held it as far from his body as possible and stormed out of the room to his lab. Talking about this further was pointless when they couldn't communicate properly. At least now they weren't going to bother him constantly by asking how he was progressing every five minutes since they were even less likely than normal to understand his genius explanations.

If someone were to listen at the doors to his lab they would have heard him berating the entire science department. "Let's get down to business - to defeat the Huns. Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons? You're the saddest bunch I've ever met but you can bet before we're through Mister, I'll make a man out of you"

Several days later, once Rodney had fixed the problem, given them all a detailed and incomprehensible explanation of what exactly had happened, verbally berated Xander thoroughly for fooling around with technology he didn't understand and submitted a novel sized report that no one but Carter would ever read, Xander was sitting with John in the mess and asked. "Did you notice that nearly all of Rodney's songs were from Disney movies? Why do you think that was?"

And if Rodney twitched every time Xander so much as hummed the tune to 'I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves,' only the two of them knew why and they weren't telling.

=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= TBC =*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=

A/N:
I'm going to be writing these all out of order however the prompts inspire me, but when I get all 100 together I'll shuffle them into some semblance of chronological order. The prompts will all take place in the same Verse and will be inter-related to each other but not continual.

Master Song List -
Good Morning (from Singing in the Rain)
Bright Sunshiny Day - Jimmy Cliff
What's This? (from Nightmare Before Christmas)
Proper Cup of Coffee - Trout Fishing in America
What's Going On? - 4 Non Blondes
They - Jem
What Have You Done - Within Temptation
Honest Mistake - The Bravery
Apologize - One Republic/Timbaland
Fix You - Coldplay
Let's Work Together - Canned Heat
Back Home - Hazen Street
Memories - Within Temptation
She Blinded Me With Science - Thomas Dolby
Oops.. I Did It Again - Britney Spears
Memories (from CATS)
The Song That Never Ends
Erase - Mika
Russian Roulette - Rihanna
It's All Been Done - Bare Naked Ladies
Spectacular, Spectacular (from Moulin Rouge)
It's a Small World (After All) - The Walt Disney Company
Poison - Groove Coverage
Did My Time - Korn
Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger
Part of Your World (from the Little Mermaid)
Help! - The Beatles
Poor Unfortunate Souls (from the Little Mermaid)
Bring Honor to Us All (from Mulan)
Make a Man Out of You (from Mulan)

The End?

You have reached the end of "Insta-Gater Verse" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 24 Apr 10.

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