Ch. 10: Handbooks by Genuka
This is my contribution and it's inspired by this fic and all of those silly little handbooks out there that are just for fun but have really sensible advice in them. Fyi I'm gonna just go ahead and tell you who's talkin otherwise you might not find it as funny as I do. ;D
Oh, Another fyi: I don't mention Xander because to me he's one of the new recruits that are coming in so that's why he's not there.
Disclaimer: Don't own don't claim to own. You recognize and it's not mine. *evil grin*Ch. 10: HandbooksThe Evil Overlord's Handbook:
Teal'c: O'Neill. What is the point of trying to over throw the Goa'uld if they have access to 'The Evil Overlord's Handbook'? I do not understand. Why do you have a handbook for evil overlords?
O'Neill: ... Teal'c, sometimes what you read isn't meant to be taken literally. Yes, there are a whole lot of sensible things in that handbook but it's just for fun
. Nothing else. Now how would you like to help me make a handbook for the new recruits? If you really
want we can download 'The Evil Overlord's Handbook' and attach it to ours and make reading it mandatory.
Teal'c: ..... Very well O'Neill. However you must help me find other handbooks that are fiction but also contain wisdom to help us. We do encounter many strange things on our journey's.
O'Neill: .... Only if we make Danny boy and Carter help too. It'll drive them both nuts.
Teal'c: Agreed.The SGC Handbook:
O'Neill: Maybe we should have put a warning in there about the doc and Hammond....
Teal'c: That would have been unwise since both DoctorFraiser and GeneralHammond have expressed an interest in viewing the Handbook before we provide it to the new recruits. GeneralHammond has expressed a possible interest in making the handbook mandatory reading for anyone joining the SGC. Provided of course that we have done an adequate job.
O'Neill: Oh.... Daniel! You got a second? We need someone with a bit of diplomacy to look this over.
Daniel: Sure, Jack. What is it?
O'Neill: Just a little handbook we put together. We went along the lines of 'The Evil Overlord Handbook' but Hammond wants to look at it and so does the doc.
Daniel: And you don't want to get stuck on KP duty for a week or have Janet start issuing you some 'mandatory' shots that she forgot about, right?
O'Neill: Exactly! Plus you and Carter did help.
Daniel: *sigh* Fine... Looks okay to me, but you might want to drop the bit about not shooting allies because then they might come back from the dead and haunt you or at least re-word it. At least this is a bit more constructive than trying to kill Anise every time she shows up.
O'Neill: True. I still don't like her.