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Snippets of Insanity, or Xander's revenge

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Ficlet(s)

Summary: Short snippets of dialogue, may the insanity ensue. Now free for all, feeling insane? Just add your own. 100+ Words please. Oh, and thanks for all the positve feedback so far. Participation welcome.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Xander-CenteredTheNoNameBody + 2 othersFR15197,71827342,65221 Mar 106 Sep 10No

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: see Chapter One

Tea'lc and the MTV generation

10.

*"MAJOR HARRIS, what are you doing with that shopping cart?"
~"General, Major Carter and Tea'lc watched Jackass last night."
_"Hey, Xander. The ramp is already built, we're waitin for you, Tea'lc wants to go first."

-

Hit it harder

11.

~"No, no, you have to hit it a lot harder."
_"Indeed, O'Neill."
#"Son of a bitch, that must have hurt."
+"Me next, me next."
|"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
#"We're just playing slap the monkey, Sir."

The challenge

12.

*MAJOR HARRIS, I know you are responsible, why is half the base lining up in front of the infirmary?"
~"They challenged me, sir."
*"Challenged you to what, Major?"
~"A twinkie eating contest, Sir."
*"And you beat half the base?"
~Yes, Sir."
*"Impressive, though I bet you couldn't beat me, son."
~"Oh, you're on, sir."

Day off

13.

~"Um, Colonel, could I maybe have the rest of the day off?"
*"Yeah, sure."

*"Sam, why did Xander tear out of here like a bat out of hell?"
_"He broke your gameboy, sir."
*"That little..."

A librarian's nightmare

14.

_"How did he do it, Daniel?"
#"I just asked him to fetch a book for me, Jack."
~"Could you please stop driveling and get me out of here."
_"You really should clean up in here Danny-boy."
#"Hey, it's not my fault all those books fell on him."
~"You should use books like I do, to support my desk."

I'm what?

15.

~"I'm what?"
_"By the customs of these people you are married."
#"That's the fifth time this month alone."
+"But his marriages never seem to last more than a night."
#"Wonder why that is."
*"Indeed."

Halloween

16.

*"Colonel O'Neill, why is Major Harries running around the base screaming?"
-"I don't know, sir. But I think it was Thor's fault."
*"How so?"
-"For some reason, Thor wanted to attend the SGC halloween party."
*"And that would cause Major Harris to scream?"
-"Well, sir. Thor decided to go as a clown."

17.

Coffee

#"Sam? Why are the people on base sticking to the corridor walls like Spiderman?"
-"Daniel and Xander decided to settle the "Coffeejunkie of the year", sir."
#"And?"
-"Office-chair race, sir."
#"Those little..., they were supposed to wait for me, I called dibs on the General's chair."

18.

The red Phone

#"General, you've got a call from the president."
-"Thank you, Walter. Mr. President, Hammond here."
...
-"No, sir."
...
-"But..."
...
-"Yes, sir."
...
-"I will tell him right away, sir."

-"Walter, call Major Harris into my office."
#"Yes, sir."
-"And Walter, draw up a memo, the game Twister is never to be mentioned in front of the President again."

Books

19.

-"XANDER, WHY IS THERE IN HOLE IN MY OFFICE DOOR?"
~"Hi, Daniel. It was my pet rock, Stony, he's become quite wild in the last few days. Do you think I should get him neutered?"

*Hi, Sam. Why is Xander in the infirmary?"
_"Hi, Colonel, uhm, Daniel hit him with a book."

STD

20.

-"General Hammond, I need to lodge a formal complaint."
#"What is it, Dr. Fraiser?"
-"I've found this memo on my desk."
#"Marriage is not an STD, except your name be Xander Harris."

AN: is this better? a few more snippets in one go. Read and review, please. Flames welcome.
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