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Snippets of Insanity, or Xander's revenge

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Summary: Short snippets of dialogue, may the insanity ensue. Now free for all, feeling insane? Just add your own. 100+ Words please. Oh, and thanks for all the positve feedback so far. Participation welcome.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Xander-CenteredTheNoNameBody + 2 othersFR15197,71827343,05421 Mar 106 Sep 10No

Chapter Three

Disclaimer: see Chapter One

From this chapter on, this fic will be a free for all, so just add your own brand of insanity, whenever you feel like it.


EXCELLENT

21.

-"Hey, Xander, does this Tok'Ra look familiar to you?"
~"You know, Colonel, he does."
#"EXCELLENT!"

+"O'NEILL, HARRIS, this is a serious debriefing, stop giving each other high-fives."

The bomb

22.

#"MAJOR HARRIS, get off there this instant!"
-"Hey, XAnder, I got the camera and your Dr. Strangelove nametag."
#"Dr. Jackson!"

Questions

23.

\"YOU HAVE REACHED THE ONE-CALL FURLING KNOWLEDGE DATABASE, PLEASE STATE YOUR QUERY.!"
~"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

#"HARRIS!"

\"YOU HAVE REACHED THE ONE-CALL FURLING KNOWLEDGE DATABASE, PLEASE STATE YOUR QUERY.!"
*"What if hell really did freeze over? What would we be using instead?"

#"O'Neill!"

\"YOU HAVE REACHED THE ONE-CALL FURLING KNOWLEDGE DATABASE, PLEASE STATE YOUR QUERY.!"
_"What was the best thing before sliced bread?"

#"TEA'LC!"

\"YOU HAVE REACHED THE ONE-CALL FURLING KNOWLEDGE DATABASE, PLEASE STATE YOUR QUERY.!"
-"Does killing time damage eternity?"

#"MAJOR CARTER!"

\"YOU HAVE REACHED THE ONE-CALL FURLING KNOWLEDGE DATABASE, PLEASE STATE YOUR QUERY.!"
#"Why are raisins called raisins if they are only dried grapes? Why not just call them dried grapes?"

-"General Hammond?"

42?

24.

~"Hey, Sam, what is the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?"
#"Hey, Xander, with a statistical probability of 99.9943 percent the answer is 42.2948427, why do you ask?"
~"Yeah, Sam, nice talking to you, um, listen I gotta go."

-"Carter, I just talked to Xander. Get out of here and that's an order. Get some sleep, for crying out loud."

Fetch

25.

-"Don't give me that look, Tea'lc, it wasn't my idea."
~"Hey Daniel, where's Stony? You know, this is the last time I'm going to let you babysit him."
-"See, give him that look , Tea'lc. It was his hairbrained idea to teach that stone how to fetch."
+"Indeed it was, Dr. Jackson, but it was your idea to do it in my quarters."

Never, ever

26.

-"Never, ever drink something the locals offer you, before you don't know what it is."
~"Why, did I behave badly?"
#"XanderHarris, I believe it is customary to congratulate at such an event."
*"And congratulations a second time, Harris."
\"And a third."
-"And fourth."
~"Holy twinkie, just tell me!"
*"Oh, nothing much, you just got married to the daughters of the four clan leaders."

*"Hey, Tea'lc do we still have smelling-salts left from the last time?"

Chemistry

27.

-"Hi Sam, what are you doing?"
#"I'm just trying to analyze the chemical composition of this weird substance, the ingredients could probably be used to build an extremey powerful bomb."
~"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY TWINKIES!"

Noooo

28.

-"Careful..., no, stop..., go back..., now set it..., noooo!"
~"Would you please stop with the backseat instructions, Colonel?"
-"But I'm going to miss the Simpsons."
#"Don't worry, Jack, if Xander can't do it, just get Sam to program your TiVo."

Villains

29.

~"Hans Gruber."
-"Colonel Vogel."
~"The Joker."
-"Imhotep."
~"Hannibal Lecter."
-"Mr. Burns."
~"Darth Vader."
-"Freddy Kruger."
~"Cruella de Vil"
-"Anise."
~"Who?"

-"Hello, Anise it's sooo nice to see you again."

Consoles

30.

#"Major Harris, the next time someone offers you a device of unknown origins, just say no."
~"YYYEEEEESSSSSS, SSSSIIIIIRRR!"
-"This happens far too often around here."
*"Don't worry, Sam, just get him out of that X-Box."

AN: Read and review, please, flames welcome.
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