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Detectives, Demons, and Witches, Oh My!

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Summary: Buffy finds a different way to cheat death after the Master kills her, by making a deal with her. Now with 100 percent more Crack. Buffy/Willow

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Anime > YuYu HakushoCameronYoungFR1845,4690314,91710 Apr 1031 May 14No

A minute too late...

Disclaimer: I own nothing. No Yu Yu Hakusho, Disgea 2, or Buffy. Also, I wrote this while my internet was down so I had no way of checking on stuff like the actual events of the show so I’m gonna improvise.

“Face down in a puddle, drained of blood. Fan-Freakin’-Tastic! Best part is: I let the Master out of this stupid cave and none of this would have happened if I hadn’t heard about that stupid prophecy! Son of a Bitch!”

Buffy Summers was the hero of this story, but, oddly enough, she’s dead. As she yelled and cursed vehemently at her own corpse, two figures rush into the room. Both were tall with dark hair and eyes and handsome in their own way, and both were concerned with only one thing at the moment: the well being of Buffy.

“Angel! He really does care about me!” Before Buffy could continue to gush, the younger man in the room rolled her body over and announced, “She’s not breathing! Help me with the CPR!”

The vampire held his hands up in protest. “I… I can’t. I have no breath.”

Xander gave Angel a glare but wasted no time in beginning the compressions. Buffy’s ghost had no such obligations.

“No breath my cute, dead tush! How do you talk then? Oh, I am so haunting you if Xander can’t revive me.” Then it sank in. “I’m really dead, aren’t I?”

“Yes you are.” Came an overly cheery voice from behind her.

Buffy jumped (as much as a ghost that is not subject to gravity can jump) and turn around. Before her was a smiling, blue haired woman in a Japanese kimono riding an oar. It was an odd sight to say the least.

“I’m glad you understand that and have gotten over the shouting stage. That will make things so much easier.” The pink clad woman floated closer to the spirit and offered her hand. “My name is Botan and I’ll be your grim reaper tonight.” Buffy, who had been about to shake the shinnigami’s hand, shot back as if she had discovered something very hot.

“Stop being such a scaredy cat. I’m not here to take you to the after life, I’m here to offer you a second chance.”

“… A second chance at what?” Buffy asked.

“Life of course! What else?” Botan replied as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

To her credit, Buffy was not phased by this in the least. “How long will this take?”

“Well, the last person to be revived like this took a little over three weeks…” Botan began but Buffy cut her off.

“Don’t want it then.”

“Huh?” was the grim reaper’s intelligent reply.

“Look, I appreciate the offer but in three weeks this place will literally be hell on earth. Not exactly the kinda thing I wanna havta deal with ya know?”

“Well then, if that’s your reason for refusal, why don’t we watch what happens from here and then make your decision.” A small gleam in the blue haired psychopomp’s eye and a tiny, knowing smirk was enough to convince her that her companion knew something that she didn’t.

“Okay, I’ll bite. Let’s watch.”

Buffy turned to look at her corpse and was surprised and a little touched to see that Xander had not stopped trying to revive her yet. She was still a little miffed that Angel just sat in a corner and moped. Suddenly, Xander screamed in frustration, slammed his fists against her chest one last time and then was still.

“He dies for this.” was his quiet vow to no one. He picked up a discarded crossbow bolt and ran to the exit. Angel didn’t even try to stop him.

Rupert Giles stared into hell, and hell stared back at him. Currently, hell had the advantage in this little staring contest, seeing that hell had several heads and more eyes than it really should have. Vampires were trying to bust down the barricaded door, his slayer was nowhere to be found and all he had for backup was a techno pagan, a cheerleader and a mousy computer specialist. He was, in a word, Doomed.

“Part of me wants to think up some witty final words but I have a battle axe and a monster to fight. No words are truly needed.” And with that, he charged the nearest head, swinging madly.

Heinrich Nest, A.K.A. ‘The Master’, looked down through a skylight at the vortex of swirling interdimensional energy and the monster it spewed forth and smiled.

“Yes, my hell has arrived and I shall reign supreme for all of*”

Mid rant, he was cut off by someone tackling him from behind. He noticed, rather belatedly, a slight, stabbing pain in between his left shoulder blade and his spine. He and his assailant sailed through the cold night air and struck the glass of the skylight. The glass seemed to bend inward for a moment before momentum carried them through and shattered the glass plate, sending them careening towards the ground. The Master’s flesh dissolved and exploded. To Willow Rosenburg, it looked like thousands of insects taking off in flight, abandoning the skeleton to its fate. This observation was quickly forgotten as the world seemed to slow to a crawl when she saw her best friend in the world fall roughly 20 feet directly into the swiftly closing hell mouth. All she could do was stare.

Buffy watched as Xander sacrificed himself to save the world. A single tear rolled down her cheek as she turned to Botan. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

AN: Yes? No? Ahh my eyes are bleeding? Review and tell me what you think.
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