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Three Corn Fed Farm Boys

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Summary: Three men meet at their ten year college reunion and discover they have more than the same school in common.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
DC Universe > Superman
Stargate > Riley-Centered
DireSquirrelFR1311,6069316,33315 Apr 1015 Apr 10Yes
Nominated for "Best Portrayal of Other Character," "Best Multiple Crossover" and "the Best Comedy" for the Crossing Over Awards 2010.

Thanks all who nominated me!



The ten year reunion was well attended. There were old friends, old enemies and even some new of both. There was also a lot of booze. Riley Finn, on special leave for him and his wife, stepped out to look at the setting sun on the corn. Even this deep in Kansas you could see the Rockies to the West. You could see quite a bit if you just got tall enough to see over the corn.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” asked a voice from next to him. Riley turned to see someone he recognized, but never really knew in college.

“Yeah, it is,” he answered. “Riley Finn.”

“Cameron Mitchell,” the blond man said, introducing himself. “I miss it. Grew up not far from here and it’s hard living in the mountains.”

“I just got my undergrad here. Huxley, Iowa is my hometown,” Finn said.

“Huxley, nice place there,” said a third man who had just stepped out.

“Well, well, Mr. Star Reporter, Clark Kent,” Riley said, shaking the dark haired man’s hand. “You’ve still got that grip.”

“I haven’t changed that much in the last ten years, Riley,” Clark said with a grin. He pushed his glasses back up his nose. “Cam, how’s it going?”

“Good, haven’t seen you since that last game against Duke,” Cam said, giving the reporter another handshake.

“We gave it a good try; shame about that last pass,” Kent said with a grin. “So what have you two been up to since our undergrad days?”

“Army retired, spent some time as a TA in psychology and now I’m working as a federal agent,” Finn said. “Good ole DoHS. The work’s hard, the pay’s a pittance, but I met my wife on assignment, so it’s not all bad.”

“Congrats,” Cam said, giving him a slap on the back. “Colonel in the USAF, I’m stationed in Colorado Springs.”

“Academy?” Clark asked.

“Nope, the mountain,” Cam replied. Both men seemed to accept the answer. “So you’re a reporter?”

“Oh, I do a little work for the Daily Planet,” was Clark’s modest reply.

“’A little work’ my ass,” Riley said with a grin. “Clark here is one of the two star reporters, one half of the Lane/Kent team. Didn’t you get a Pulitzer not long ago?”

“A shared one, nothing too spectacular,” Kent said, keeping his usual mild mannered nature.

“Damn, I’m impressed,” Cam said honestly. “That’s quite a feat.”

Clark Kent just shrugged his shoulders in a humble fashion.

Riley opened his mouth to say something more, but was cut off by a rather large green explosion on the other side of the parking lot. Of all people, Clark Kent tackled the two military men and shielded them from the blast.

“What the hell?” snarled Riley as he glanced up and saw a twelve foot tall terminator styled robot with obviously alien organics marching towards them.

“awe man!” moaned Cam at he stood back up.

“I hate cyborgs,” all three men said in unison before glancing at each other in surprise.

“Well, I don’t suppose you two could possibly pass this off as a stress induced illusion, would you?” Riley asked as he pulled a nasty looking sword out of…somewhere. It was glowing.

“I think it’s too late for that,” Cam said, diving out of the way as the massive cyborg pointed its alien plasma cannon in their general direction. He rolled out of the way and pulled a strange S shaped ray gun from his pocket. Glancing to his side, he realized Finn was right next to him. “Sword?”

“Ray gun?” Riley Finn countered.

“NDAs later?”

“Right,” Finn said. “Cover me.”

“What?” Cam asked as Riley charged in front of the car they had hid behind. Cam brought up his Zat and shot a couple of quick blasts at the robot, but was alarmed as the electric field was disrupted, glancing off to the side. It did, however, distract the alien cyborg long enough for Riley to get in a slash with his sword, cutting deep into the alien flesh. The cyborg simply kicked the Agent, sending him flying into the side of the building to turn into a really big blood stain. Or he should have.

“Don’t worry,” said a slightly familiar voice. “I’ve got you.”

“Well, I guess this means I lost the bet with Sam if you’re real or not,” Riley said.

“Sam?”

“My wife, who’s inside as we speak, probably getting reinforcements,” Riley said.

“Carter! This is Cam, we’ve got a giant cyborg attacking my undergrad stomping grounds,” Cameron Mitchell said into his mobile. “No that isn’t a joke. I could use some help.”

It was just then that Superman plowed into the cyborg, knocking it off its feet and gouging a deep ditch in the parking lot.

“Or not, we’ve got Kryptonian back up,” Cam said.

“Kal-El,” snarled the robot. “I should have known you would interfere!”

The Kryptonian replied by punching it in the face. It responded by blasting Superman with the plasma cannon, shooting out a blast of green energy that sent the Man of Steel flying far from the battlefield.

“Uh-oh,” Cam and Riley said in perfect unison. Both sprung into action, charging right towards the fallen cyborg. Cam shot debris in quick succession, disintegrating the car between them and the monster. Riley charged right in and took a slice at the elbow joint between the plasma cannon and the arm, easily slicing through the circuitry.

“What is that thing?” Cam asked in amazement.

“Magic Sword.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah,” Riley said with a grin. He moved to cut off another limb, but he got an alien fist in the face for his troubles. “owe!”

Cam shot the arm again, this time the blast went through whatever shield was repelling the zat blasts earlier, frying the electronics temporarily. Unfortunately it recovered before they could take advantage of its predicament, the thing lurched back to its feet and started regenerating a new plasma cannon from spare metal around it. And that’s when a truck hit it in the face.

Superman followed his ranged attack with a massive punch to the chin, snapping some important looking cables.

“Your ray gun stunned it,” Superman said. “Keep it occupied while Agent Finn and I hit it.”

Cam nodded and shot the thing in the legs again, giving Riley enough of an opening to take another slice at the leg, severing the blending of flesh and machine at the knee (which was about chest height for Riley). Superman hit it with another truck repeatedly. The cyborg started falling over and Cam shot it in the neck, creating another opening for Riley to stab at the exposed joints.

Having it finally on the ground again, Superman grabbed it by the jaw, braced himself on its shoulders and twisted, tearing the cranium from the pseudo muscles connecting it to the rest of the body. The head severed with some extra slashes from Riley’s sword and a few blasts from Cam’s Zat continued to stun it, although it never disintegrated.

When the cyborg finally stopped moving, Superman dropped the head with a great *thunk* into the paved parking lot.

Riley looked at Superman with a curious glance. The Man of Steel was bleeding from a wound to the forehead. “Aren’t you supposed to be invulnerable?”

“That ray blast somehow bypassed that particular ability,” Superman said. “I assume I can trust you gentlemen to clean this up?” They nodded.

And with that, the Last Son of Krypton flew off into the sky. Cam and Riley watched him go until he was just a spot on the horizon.

A moment later Clark Kent came running back out of the university convention center. “Looks like everything’s taken care of. You guys okay?”

The two military men glanced back at their companion. Riley grinned.

“Nice disguise Superman,” he said. Clark’s face twitched slightly. “No point in hiding now, Clark.”

“What gave me away?” Clark asked, the tone of his voice slightly changing as he relaxed. He suddenly seemed ...taller... somehow.

“Well, for one, you’ve got a cut in the exact same place you did before you flew away,” Cam said. “It’s just too convenient. And really Clark: glasses?”

“Huh, usually works in Metropolis,” Clark said, self consciously straightening said glasses. “Can’t we go back to pretending we’re just three corn fed farm boys?”

“Oh, way too late for that,” Riley said with a smirk, slipping the sword back into his coat.

“I think a talk in a nice bar with some good beer is in order,” Cam said, slipping the zat back in his pocket.

“I agree. After that,” Riley said, pointing to the cybernetic corpse behind them, “I think some relaxation is in order.”

“Sounds good to me,” Clark said as the three started walking away. “What about the alien cyborg?”

“Oh, my people will take care of it. They’re good with alien tech,” Cam said. The Air force Colonel leaned down to pick up the plasma cannon. “I wonder if Carter can make me a gun from one of these,” Cam pondered. The other two glanced at him with bemused looks. “What? I like laser guns.”

“You know, something tells me this is the start of a beautiful friendship,” Riley said as the trio walked off into the sunset.



Disclaimer: Superman/Clark Kent is owned by DC comics; Cameron Mitchell and Stargate are owned by MGM; and Riley Finn and Buffy are owned by Mutant Enemy and company.

The End

You have reached the end of "Three Corn Fed Farm Boys". This story is complete.

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