R to be safe cause of the subject matter.Disclaimer:
I do not own the fandom here within. It is owned by SyFy.Warnings:
AAAAAANNGST. And death. An OC's but still...death.Summary:
Sometimes there wasn't anything they could do but remember.A/N:
A short little morbid one shot that's been bouncing around in my head for a couple weeks at least.A/N 2:
This is a non-cross for Stargate: Atlantis.
They'd thought they'd been prepared for pretty much anything this new galaxy could have thrown at them. They had weapons which were attached to soldiers; they had coffee, which was usually being fought over. They had gene holders. They had people in so many different and varied fields that Elizabeth honestly couldn't see them not having even a bit of a preperation for something.
Arrogance is not a trait Elizabeth thought she had before Carson walked into her office four months after they arrived in Atlantis.
They'd survived killer bugs, wraith, nanobots, Rodney when the coffee started running out. And yet...
It had started out innocently enough. She was a young woman Elizabeth knew only in a you're-technically-my-subordinate-I-can't-get-really-close-to-you-but-we-can-be-friends way. She was small, tiny, and tended to get overlooked a LOT. One of the younger scientists had likened her to Mia at the beginning of the Princess Diaries movie and Elizabeth couldn't contradict the image. She honestly wouldn't have been survived if she was sat on occasionally because people didn't see her.
She'd gone to the infirmary. She'd been feeling off for a few days. It wasn't anything major and the doctor on duty that day had diagnosed her with a simple cold and sent her on her way.
Two weeks later, she went back to the infirmary because she still felt like crap only this time she had bruises she couldn't explain. Carson hadn't been too alarmed at the time but had insisted on numerous tests. Then they got word about the super-storm and the tests were put on standby.
By the time everything in the city had returned to normal, Carson had forgotten about them.
Two weeks later, after they got Sheppard and Rodney back from the planet with the starving wraith, the scientists finally called on Carson again. She was bleeding way too much from small cuts and she had a slight fever.
Now slightly alarmed, Carson immediately put her through every medical test he could do with their limited supplies and the Lantean medical scanners. When the results came back, Carson double and triple checked them to be certain.
Before leaving Earth, before being approved for the expedition, every member had undergone extensive medical examinations. Nothing was being left to chance.
Only you can't find what isn't there yet.
The young woman had been terrified. Cancer ran in her family and it'd always been a fear that she would get it. She spent six hours with Heightmeyer, crying, shouting. In the end, she accepted the outcome and pestered Carson for treatment options.
There weren't many. The IOA hadn't approved chemotherapy drugs as needed so they didn't have any. They couldn't do radiation treatments. The most the medical staff could do was try and make her comfortable and look in the Ancient Database.
The Athosians helped. They had medicinal herbs and teas that staved off the worst of the pain and nausea. They talked to her, spent time with her, kept her mind off what was happening as much as they could.
She and Teyla discussed the Athosian language, a variant of Ancient. Most of her free time was cataloguing both the language and the culture. She wanted to have something to leave behind, though this was something she told only Heightmeyer. By the time she was too weak to continue writing in her journal, she had dived so deep into the Athosian lifestyle that she honestly could have been one herself.
The city was divided in its responses to her condition. Most of them felt too uncomfortable to visit her; they faced their own mortality often but never in such a way as she. The other half stopped by all the time. One of the marines read her books he'd downloaded onto his laptop before they left Earth. Another played an Athosian styled guitar (he was popular among the nurses). Some of the scientist did research in her small area of the infirmary, not talking but offering silent support.
Others showed they were thinking of her in other ways. Dr. McKay, busy as he was keeping the city afloat, hunted down a voice recorder so she could continue her ruminations since she couldn't write anymore. Major Sheppard, who'd admitted to Heightemeyer that his mother had died of leukemia, would sit and regal her with stories of his team's adventures, usually in his dry sardonic voice which, somehow, made them even better. Occasionally he was joined by Lt. Ford, who's youthful exuberance always managed to cheer her up. Heightmeyer came and just listened to her talk. Half the time she would start yelling and ranting but the shrink had never taken offense, had been so unfailingly patient.
Carson spent hours of his free time in the database. He felt incredible guilt about her illness though everyone knew there was really nothing he could have done. No matter when they caught it, without medicines she would die. Simple as that.
One day near the end, when she was feeling particularly depressed, she started a new tape and just...talked. It wasn't about the Athosian people or work. Instead, it was about the wonder and love she felt for the city and its people. About team Sheppard and how thankful she was for them and the kindess they had shown. For Carson, so determined to heal her. How proud she was to know them all.
She spent ten minutes straight listing the virtues and accomplishments of Elizabeth Weir, even though the woman had a lot of trouble visiting her. She was proud, she said, of what Dr. Weir had accomplished and if the IOA was smart, they'd keep her running the city once they reconnected with Earth. She'd never doubted they would get back to Earth one day.
The day she died had started off as any other--with an explosion, much cursing and yelling. It'd gotten to the point where they didn't even panic anymore. At least not as much as before.
She'd convinced Carson to let her visit the pier. She wanted to see the ocean. One of the nurses had taken her in a wheelchair. Standing out of the pier, she asked the nurse to give her some time. The woman agreed and told her she would be back in ten minutes.
Once certain the nurse was out of sight, she took one last look at the sun setting on the ocean, the moons peaking through the atmosphere, and then slit her wrists so deeply she knew there was no way they could get her back to the infirmary in time to save her.
Two weeks later they found the alternate Elizabeth and with her, the stasis capsule.
When the new supplies came in after being reconnected with Earth, John Sheppard, now a Lt. Colonel, took out one bullet for every member of the expedition. Carson Beckett did the same with two ibuprofen's. They were given out in the mess hall after orientation with a copy of the note she left behind.I do this of my own feel will, on my own terms and in my own time. In my final act I leave you as I do so as not to waste bullets or take away pain medications from someone who can live as I won't.