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The Slayer, The Key, and The Baby Mama

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Summary: Beware of Mad Scientists and Robots. To say nothing of the Cheerleader. A tale of relationships and sisters.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Cartoons > Kim Possible(Moderator)acsFR1824,3140113,18624 Apr 1024 Oct 10No

A Bicycle Built for Three

Disclaimer: This is a derivative work. All BtVS characters belong to or were created by Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. All characters from Kim Possible belong to The Mouse. This story (plot, situation, original characters and dialogue) is my idea.
Summary: Buffy and Dawn find themselves in an extremely odd situation with a cheerleader, a mad genetic scientist, and some very possessive robots. Definitely not your every day, ordinary Tuesday kidnapping. How are they going to get out of this one?
Spoilers: All 7 seasons of BtVS. KP - indeterminate. Not BtVS Season 8 Comic compliant.
Author's Note: This isn't really an original idea. Anyone who has read a lot of KP fics (KiGo especially) probably knows exactly where this story is going. (But I think my take on it is a bit different). Please don't spoil it for everyone else. Thanks.
Word Count: 2,520 (1 of 4)

--- --- ---

"Ugh, did someone get the number of that truck?" Buffy asked, groaning as she rolled over on her back. Sitting up, she rubbed the back of her neck and looked around with blurry eyes. Three walls of the small cell were a uniform grey-green. The remaining wall contained a doorway blocked by glowing green bars of light.

"Not my hotel room," she muttered, rubbing her eyes. "Unless someone redecorated while we were at dinner." Standing up, her sore legs complaining at the motion, Buffy turned around in a slow circle, taking a closer look. "And all the comforts of home, but no Dawn," she said to herself, spotting the prison issue toilet in one corner and the low bunk that seemed to be part of one wall.

Her bare feet made no sounds as she slowly shuffled over to the bunk. Sitting down, she leaned back against the wall. It wasn't the softest but it was definitely better than the floor she'd woken up on. Reflexively grabbing the pillow, she hugged it tightly. Whatever had happened, she was starting to feel better, her slayer healing starting to kick in.

Buffy wasn't sure how long she'd been huddled there when she caught a glint of something where the pillow had been. Reaching over, she picked up a small amulet.
I guess she's not getting the cavalry, she thought, recognizing it. She'd given it to Dawn when she'd graduated from Oxford. "So she was here. Guess I'll have to rescue myself and then find her."

Now wasn't the time to panic about missing sisters, she decided, so, taking a deep breath, she put the pillow down and stood up. Walking up to the wall, she started walking around the cell, running her hands along it looking for a weakness. Any weakness. It seemed to be some kind of painted stone, though it wasn't cold like she would have expected, from prior experiences with stone walls in castles, mausoleums, and old mansions.

Her journey stopped when she reached the cell door. She didn't touch the bars, just holding her hands near them. They weren't hot but the closer she got the more her palms tingled. Glancing around the room, Buffy looked for something she could throw at the bars. She wasn't ready to sacrifice the lone pillow or her clothes, she thought, looking down at her jeans and silk blouse.

--- --- ---

The next time she woke, lying on the floor again, it was to the sound of a worried Dawn calling her name and shaking her arm.


Opening her eyes, she found herself looking up at her sister. "Hey! Where have you been?" she asked.

"Me? Where have you been?" Dawn asked. "I was by myself, and then there was this flash of light and then I woke up and you were here."

Sitting up, Buffy hugged her tightly. "The same thing happened to me, but now I'm right here with you," she said.

"What's going on?" Dawn asked.

"I'm not sure," Buffy said, letting her go. Standing up, she pulled Dawn to her feet, and dragged her over to the bunk. "But I could do without the waking up on the floor again."

"Do you think anyone's noticed we're missing yet?" Dawn asked, huddling next to Buffy on the bunk.

"It could be weeks," Buffy told her, knowing Dawn wouldn't want her to lie. "Willow and Kennedy won't be back from that retreat until the end of the month. Xander's on that trip to Lake Victoria. And Giles had that family thing to do in Bath. And none of them expect to hear from us since we're supposed to be on vacation."

"Not where I was expecting to spend our vacation," Dawn grumbled. "There were supposed to be beaches, and dancing, and cuties to lust after. Not kidnappings."

"Sorry," Buffy said. "We'll definitely have to talk to our travel agent when we get back."

"Yup. The entertainment facilities seem to be missing something," Dawn said. "Or just plain missing," she added.

"I'd noticed," Buffy said.

"So, get with the entertaining," Dawn said, wrapping an arm around Buffy and putting her head on her shoulder.

"Huh?" Buffy turned her head and found herself looking in Dawn's eyes.

"Tell me a story, Oh Older Sister," Dawn said winking at her.

"Why don't you tell me a story," Buffy countered.

"Because I'm the youngest and don't lead the adventurous life of a slayer?" Dawn said. "The funness in translating prophecies is a way personal thing. Doesn't really have the drama needed for kidnappee entertainment."

"Well, you've read more slayer and Watcher journals than I have," Buffy said. "I'm sure they are full of more exciting stories than I could tell you."

"Not really," Dawn said. "All the slayers who lived back when things were exciting could barely write their names. And most Watcher journals are just records of training and lists of demons killed by their slayers. And the ever popular 'How they died', of course."

"Of course," Buffy said. Giving into the inevitable, before Dawn pulled out her secret weapon, The Pout of Doom, she asked "What kind of story did you want?"

"You never talk about Merrick," Dawn said. "The Watcher Chronicles have almost nothing about the two of you together. Lothos killed him; you killed Lothos. That's pretty much it."

"When I first met him I thought he was one of those creepy old men," Buffy said. "You know, the ones they warn you about in after-school specials?"


"That was my thought," Buffy said, agreeing with Dawn. "But I was only fifteen and we did live in LA so..."

"Oh. So he wasn't?"

"A dirty old man trolling for teenage girls? Nope. He wasn't quite a Standard Issue Watcher but had the serious lack of fashion sense or pop culture knowledge they all had," Buffy said. "And he never really got my quips."

"Sounds painful," Dawn murmured tiredly.

"He did make a joke once," Buffy said. "Took Giles years to do that."

"What happened to him?" Dawn asked.

"We were out patrolling, and we ran into Pike being chased by vampires."

"So, you rescued your boyfriend?" Dawn asked.

"He wasn't my boyfriend yet," Buffy said. "But there was rescuage all 'round. I'm rescuing Pike, Lothos shows up and Merrick rescues me from him. And while that's happening Merrick tells me to run and Pike and I get away from Lothos.

"And Merrick?" Dawn prodded.

"We were doing the secret identity thing," Buffy said, drawing in a shuddering breath at the still painful memories. "Only Merrick knew I was the slayer and Lothos had him trapped."

"He was like Giles, that way, wasn't he," Dawn said softly, hugging Buffy tightly.

"Yup," Buffy said, furiously blinking her eyes to clear them. "He wouldn't let Lothos turn him."

"I'm sorry," Dawn said, gently wiping the tears from Buffy's face. "I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's okay," Buffy said. "I haven't thought about him in years. Didn't know it still affected me."

"How about a funny slaying story?" Dawn asked. "You must have one of those."

"Well, there was that time Faith and I went undercover at a club in Vegas. Though the jail cell was a bit more crowded, we at least got one phone call. That story has a couple funny bits."

"What kind of club was it?"

"Private," Buffy said, hoping Dawn wouldn't notice her blushing. "One of the members thought they had a vampire problem so Giles sent us to check it out."

--- --- ---

Buffy woke suddenly, feeling something warm in her lap. Opening her eyes and looking down, she found Dawn curled up next to her in one of the corners of the cell with an arm wrapped around her waist and her head in her lap. She couldn't remember falling asleep but she was sure that she and Dawn had been sitting on the bed, not lying on the floor.

"Dawn?" she said softly.

"Don't wanna get up," Dawn mumbled, tightening her grip.

"Well, I've gotta pee," Buffy said. "And I can't get up if you don't."

"I'm up, I'm up," Dawn said, sitting up quickly. Stretching, her t-shirt rode up, giving Buffy a tempting target she couldn't resist. "Hey!" Dawn scooting away. "Keep your cold tickly hands to yourself!"

"Nuh, uh!" Buffy said, crawling after her. "As your sister it is my job to prove the superiority of my tickle skills."

"I'm gonna tell!" Dawn said, standing up and trying to tuck her shirt in.

"Tell who?"

"Someone who isn't you," she said, pouting.

Buffy laughed, and jumping up, grabbed Dawn from behind, with one arm around her waist, and started tickling her with her other hand.

"Stop... stop... stop," Dawn said loudly, laughing as she tried to pry herself loose.

"Dawn?" Buffy asked, when her fingers encountered something unexpected.


"What's that?" she asked, turning her around and lightly running her fingers over a small smooth, skin-like spot, slightly darker than her skin, just below and to the right of her belly-button.

"Inappropriate, much?" Dawn said, swatting away Buffy's hands before rubbing the spot herself. "No idea," she said. "Doesn't hurt or anything. Do you think we've been captured by aliens doing experiments?"

"I'm pretty sure that subscription to 'Lab Rats -R- Us' expired when we blew up Sunnydale," Buffy told her, cautiously rubbing the skin below her own belly button. "Crap!"

"You too?"

"Yup," Buffy grumbled, poking at the spot. Any further thoughts she had on the subject were interrupted by a low moaning sound. Turning around, she spotted a not so small lump on the bed.

"Hey, Buffy," Dawn said, standing behind her.


"I don't think we're alone anymore."

"What ever gave you that idea?" Buffy asked sarcastically. Sighing, she stepped over to the bunk to check out their new cellmate. "Do you know her?"

"Nope," Dawn said, looking over Buffy's shoulder. "She's kinda cute," she said.

"You think so?" Buffy asked. Frowning, she tilted her head, trying to get a better look. "She looks kinda familiar."

"A slayer?"

"No, definitely not," Buffy said.

Dawn nodded in understanding at Buffy's pronouncement. "But you think you've seen her before somewhere."

"Not her. Her type. She's an athlete of some kind¨," Buffy said. "Not sure what."

"Swimmer? Gymnast?" Dawn suggested.

"She doesn't have the shoulders," Buffy said. "And she doesn't have the legs for a team sport like soccer or field hockey."

"They are nice legs," Dawn murmured. "Tennis? Cheerleader?"

"We'll have to ask her when she wakes up," Buffy said. "But dressed like that? She does give off that whole cheerleader vibe."

"A Slayer, A Key, and a Cheerleader walk into a bar..." Dawn said, smirking. "That has possibilities."

"Keep your possibilities to yourself, Miss Hormone," Buffy said, glaring at her sister who was obviously spending too much time with Faith and Kennedy. Not that she would ever say anything, since that would just encourage her. "We rescue her, and send her home. If she's a cheerleader she's probably waist deep in jocks and doesn't need your attention."

"Jeeze, Buffy. I was just kidding," Dawn said. "That whole 'rescue the princess and collect a reward' only works in movies and those romance novels like Andrew reads."

"She should be awake with all the talking," Buffy said, just barely keeping herself from commenting on Dawn, and her knowledge of Andrew, and his books. Squatting down, she started to gently examine the young woman. "No fever, or broken bones," Buffy told Dawn. "Her pulse feels normal. I think she got an extra heavy dose of what they keep using on us."

"That sucks," Dawn said. "So, we don't try to wake her up?"

"No point," Buffy said.

"Are you hungry?" Dawn asked, leaning against the wall.

"No, not really," Buffy said, standing up.

"Seems kind of odd," Dawn said. "We've been here for at least a day with no food or water."

"Hadn't thought about it," Buffy said, frowning.

"I bet they're feeding us and then zapping us so we forget," Dawn said excitedly.

"Why would they do that?" Buffy asked.

"They obviously don't want us to escape," Dawn said. "Which means this is probably their only cell. Or maybe they don't need to feed us to do their experiments so they put something in the air that makes us not hungry. And we'll just starve to death before anyone can rescue us."

"You need to stop hanging out with Andrew," Buffy said, shaking her head. "That sounds like something he would come up with."

"Too much?" Dawn asked sheepishly, sliding down to the floor.

"Too much," Buffy said, nodding.

"So what do you want to do?"

"Besides finding a way out of here?" Buffy asked, sitting next to her. "You're the kidnapping expert, what do you recommend?" she suggested, knowing the time would go faster if Dawn had a purpose.

"I'm the expert?" she said, the disbelief on her face causing Buffy to giggle. "I am, aren't I," Dawn said. "Go me!"


"Oh, right!" Dawn frowned. "No panicking. That's the big one. And keep busy."

"Busy how?"

"Exercise? Singing?" Dawn shrugged. "Just something to keep our minds off the lack of space. It's a good thing neither of us is claustrophobic."

"No shower, so getting sweaty working on your hand-to-hand would be a no," Buffy said, scrunching up her nose at the thought.

"You could teach me T'ai Chi," Dawn said. "That's not too sweaty, and I've always wanted to learn it."

"Okay," Buffy said, nodding.

--- --- ---

Waking up to the sounds of soft voices, Bonnie tried to open her eyes for an eternity before succeeding. Moving an arm to rub them took another part of forever. It was a familiar feeling. Lassitude, she decided, was the word to describe it. A word she would never admit to knowing even though she was now a former cheerleader, the excitement having gone out of cheering, now that she didn't have that damned redhead to compete against, and she didn't have to hide her brain from the brainless jocks her social position had required her to socialize with in high school.

"Uh!" she gasped out, struggling to sit up. Her stomach felt like a thousand sit-ups followed by a punch by a large fist. She closed her eyes against the bright light and tried to breath around the pain.

After several minutes, she opened her eyes again and found herself looking at two women, a brunette, half a head taller than the other, a blonde.

"Hey!" the brunette said.

"Do you remember how you got here?" the blonde asked, hovering a little too close.

"Where am I?" Bonnie asked, ignoring the question. Suddenly feeling nauseous, she struggled to stand up. "Going to be sick," she whined, looking around for something to throw up in. Spotting the toilet, she staggered over to it.

"Guess that was a no," she heard a voice say, as she crouched in front of the toilet and tried to get her breathing under control against the force of the wave of dry heaves.

--- TBC ---
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