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Applicant #57, DeSalvo's of Los Angeles

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This story is No. 8 in the series "By Chance (The Stupid Hat Stories)". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Illyria applies for a job. Richie Ryan continues to take DeSalvo's national. -CoA 2010 Nominee-

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Highlander > Fred/Illyria-CenteredMatryaFR1314331112,38427 Apr 1027 Apr 10Yes
Title: Applicant #57, DeSalvo's of Los Angeles
Author: Matrya
Feedback: Is like an ancient, almighty god king at a job interview.
Disclaimer: Angel does not belong to me. Nor does Highlander.
Fandom: Angel/Highlander
In Canon: Post-Not Fade Away/Canonless for Highlander. Takes place a while after Applicant #16, DeSalvo's of Colorado Springs..
Characters/Pairings: Richie Ryan, Illyria
Word Count: ~380
Author's Notes: Yeah, I'm actually connecting two of the Stupid Hat stories. Weird, no?
Summary: Illyria applies for a job. Richie Ryan takes DeSalvo's national.

"All right." Richie nodded. The woman in front of him looked fragile and meek. There was no other way to spin it, he thought. Kenny the Creepy Kid probably could have taken her by brute force alone.

She looked at him through unearthly blue eyes. "Yes?"

"Miss Burkle, why do you think you would make a good instructor at DeSalvo's of Los Angeles?"

"I am skilled in many forms of hand-to-hand and armed combat. I also know the various uses of many armaments."

Richie nodded. There had been many applicants to run the dojo's major classes. This woman had to be the least combat-active. "Where did you train, Miss Burkle?"

"Vahla ha'Nesh," she answered, tilting her head awkwardly to the side. "I tire of this game. Will you exchange currency for my knowledge and skill on this matter?" She seemed almost exasperated.

"You've been looking for a job for awhile?" Richie asked.

"Yes!" She stood, suddenly, and seemed like a daunting threat. "They will not allow me to exchange textile goods for currency at American Eagle. They will not allow me to exchange electronic goods for currency at the Apple store. They will not allow me to exchange nutritionally disadvantageous 'Big Mac' hamburger sandwiches for currency at McDonalds." She fixed him with her ice blue glare and he could swear that her skin took on a colder tone. "I wish to make my way in the world of humans. I have no Qwaha X'ahn to guide me and would wish for employment to teach me of the ways of humans." She paused and continued in a more calm fashion, "And also, to pay the exorbitant lease charge on my domicile.

Richie nodded calmly and she sat again. This woman was cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. "Where's Vahla ha'Nesh?" he inquired simply.

She tilted her head to the side and confusion slide into her unearthly eyes. She tilted her head to the side. Finally, she answered, "Tallahassee."

"Oh, hell." Richie sat back in the office chair. "Welcome to DeSalvo's, Winifred."

She looked confused for a moment, and then seemed to realize he was talking to her. "I prefer the sobriquet 'Illyria'," she said.

Richie threw his hands up. He hadn't regretted Murray 'Teal'c' Carter. Hopefully, Winifred 'Illyria' Burkle had that same 'Tallahassee' spirit.

The End

You have reached the end of "Applicant #57, DeSalvo's of Los Angeles". This story is complete.

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