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Sometimes Life Makes Sense...

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Summary: And sometimes, you have to stand back while the aardvarks sing the Lumberjack Song, and a balding Englishman babbles about the joy that is Chaos.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Burn NoticeBerserkerNWFR71428021,1094 May 104 May 10Yes
Sometimes Life Makes Sense…

Disclaimer: I own nothing. BTVS belongs to Joss Whedon; Burn Notice belongs to Matt Nix. I get nothing but amusement from writing this. Lumberjack Song belongs to Monty Python and the Flying Circus.

Summary: And sometimes, you have to stand back while the aardvarks sing the Lumberjack Song, and a balding Englishman babbles about the joy that is Chaos. Response to '4-Letter-Drabble-Challenge'. Challenge letters: EMAL4

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Michael Westen generally tried to keep his life orderly, barring unforeseen circumstances like assassins and his mother’s love life. It was the only habit he allowed himself when he was still a spy: be neat, be organized; stay calm even in the midst of an apocalypse. That was how he had trained himself. He also trained himself to face – and prepare for – the unexpected. Unfortunately, a person could only prepare for what their mind could comprehend.

His evening began as it was becoming common: in a bar with Sam and Fiona. Sam was quizzing him again on recent sports trivia while Fiona drank her beer and subtly moved closer with each swallow. Sam had just switched to hockey when everything went a little odd. An older, balding man stepped into the bar, smiled, and uttered a barely audible “This will do quite nicely.” He then waved his arms and the four aardvark statuettes lining the bar came to life.

Sam, believing it was the result of too much alcohol, smiled and continued his questions. Fiona jumped up and aimed a gun at the creatures. Michael, who had only had a single beer and was therefore the least prepared for weirdness, fell backward over his barstool. He stared, wide-eyed, as the aardvarks began to sing and dance. He slowly turned to look at the man who had entered right before the oddity began. It only stood to reason, Michael considered, that if a man enters a normal establishment second before things went decidedly not-normal, then that man is somehow behind the change.

The man, noticing his gaze, smiled and strolled to the bar. “Good evening,” he greeted, in a strong English accent. Michael could only nod his head while Sam and Fi verbally greeted the man. “Isn’t a bit of chaos delightful? It really stirs things up when life gets too dull. The more unexpected, the better, in my opinion.” Michael nodded slowly. “Oh, I don’t believe I’ve introduced myself, have I? Ethan Rayne, premier acolyte of Chaos.”

At that point, Michael gave in. The aardvarks had switched from the Macarena to the Lumberjack Song. They had incorporated a highly aerobic dance number that included the salt and pepper shakers, ashtrays, and no less than ten sugar packets. Michael smiled at them, raised his beer in a silent toast, and proceeded to get more drunk than he had ever been in his life. If all went according to plan, he would forget this night ever happened.

Challenge Words: Ethan, Michael, aardvark, lumberjack, 400 words.

The End

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