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sIRC: Supernatural Internet Relay Chat

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Summary: Our favorite Scoobies and our favorite hunters meet up in a chat room. CRACK and nothing but. Includes m/m slash, femmeslash, Wincest, and multiple partners.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Supernatural > Multiple Pairings(Past Donor)gleefulmusingsFR2132,5101342,62912 May 1030 Nov 10No

NOTE: This story is rated FR21 which is above your chosen filter level. You can set your preferred maximum rating using the drop-down list in the top right corner of every page.

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Chapter One

Title: sIRC: Supernatural Internet Relay Chat
Authors: xanzpet
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel the Series, Supernatural, and others to be determined later.
Characters: Right now, Sam and Dean Winchester, Xander Harris, Cordelia Chase, and Willow Rosenberg.
Rating: FR-21
Warning(s): AU for all shows involved, and spoilers for all shows in their entireties. Het, slash (m/m and femme), threesomes, language. CRACK! Crackity crack crack crack!
Distribution: Please ask first. Please refer to our archiving policy for more information. Please do not screencap this story, save it to hard drives, exchange with others, or translate into other languages without our explicit written consent.
Feedback: Con-crit is always welcome; flames are displayed and mocked by all and sundry.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, lyrics, etc. are the property of their respective owners. Snippets of dialogue may be incorporated from the original canonical episode(s) and belong to their respective authors/creators. The original characters and plot are the property of the author(s). The author(s) is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended, nor should any be inferred. No profit is being made.

Summary: What if some of our favorite characters were in a chat room together? Crack, of absolutely no redeeming value whatsoever.



* * * * *



ImpalaHotness has entered the room.


CursedWithEmo: Dean? WTF?

ImpalaHotness: Sammy! Sup, biznatch?

CursedWithEmo: GTFO

ImpalaHotness: No can do, Sammy. I wanna see what’s got you so preoccupied.

CursedWithEmo: Where are you?

ImpalaHotness: Library.

CursedWithEmo: …

ImpalaHotness: STFU, dude. The librarian chick on duty is a total MILF. I’ma hit that later.

CursedWithEmo: TMI

ImpalaHotness: Whatevs, yo.


1EyedMonster has entered the room.


ImpalaHotness: Oh, now who’s this, Sammy? ;)

1EyedMonster: Uh, Sam?

CursedWithEmo: *sigh* Sorry, man.

ImpalaHotness: Man? Sammy, you got a little cyber alternative lifestyle going on? Well, it’s more of a life than I thought you had.

CursedWithEmo: JFC, Dean! Just leave!

ImpalaHotness: LMAO, no way, dude! I’m not missing this! You already whipped out, Sammy Boy, or are you waiting for the Monster to unleash his anaconda?

CursedWithEmo: Xander, I am so, so sorry.

ImpalaHotness: Oh, so it’s Xander, is it? *snicker* Like Alexander the Great? ROFL, Sammy, you are soooo Jared Leto in that shitty movie! *howls*

1EyedMonster: Is your brother a werewolf now, Sam? That would explain the smell you told me about.

ImpalaHotness: WTF?

CursedWithEmo: LMFAO

ImpalaHotness: STFU, Sam.

1EyedMonster: Uh, anyway, Sam, I got the info you needed, but it’s going to take a while to get through. There are lots of attachments. With pics! I am the Research Master! *bows*

CursedWithEmo: Thanks, Xan! :D

1EyedMonster: np, man.

ImpalaHotness: WTF is going on?

CursedWithEmo: Xan knows about all kinds of weird stuff. He’s the one who’s been getting me the info on our recent cases.

ImpalaHotness: And you didn’t tell me…why? WTF, Sam? How do you know this guy? How do you know he’s not a demon?

1EyedMonster: Hey! So *not* a demon. I just date them.

ImpalaHotness: Nice to see you two have something in common.

CursedWithEmo: Just ignore him, Xan. It’s something I learned to do when I was three. So how’s everything going? Where are you now?

1EyedMonster: Mali, chasing down this freaky witch doctor. Shrunken heads and everything.

CursedWithEmo: Whoa. Be careful, dude. So, uh, any progress on what we discussed last?

ImpalaHotness: And that is?

CursedWithEmo: None of your business, Dean. Xan?

1EyedMonster: A little, yeah.

ImpalaHotness: Sam! Who *is* this guy? How do you know him?


BuxomBitch has entered the room.


1EyedMonster: Hey, Cordy! *smooch*

CursedWithEmo: Hiya, Cor. *hugs*

ImpalaHotness: BuxomBitch? Now you’re speaking my language.

BuxomBitch: Hiya Xan! *gropes* ;) Hey Sam! *hugs* Hey…other person. Sam? Xan? Who’s this loser?

1EyedMonster: *snicker*

CursedWithEmo: LOL. That’s my brother, Dean.

BuxomBitch: Oh. Him. Whatever. So, Xander, when are you getting me out of here? I’m bored as *fuck*!

1EyedMonster: I’m working on it, sweetie. Promise.

ImpalaHotness: Who’s the Bitch?

CursedWithEmo: Dude, just go check out cordeliachase.com and STFU, ok?


LittleTree has entered the room.


BuxomBitch: Ugh! WTF is *she* doing here?

1EyedMonster: *sigh* Will, you’ve *got* to ditch that name, mmmkay? Why would you choose a moniker given to you by an insane vampire?!

LittleTree: So says the guy who used to call himself Dark Kitty. *snerk* Oh, and good to see you too, Cordy. How’s the Higher Realms? Pissed off any gods lately?

BuxomBitch: I am your god, Firecrotch. Now STFU and know your role.

1EyedMonster: Um, Cordy? Who do you think is helping me try to get you out of there?

BuxomBitch: I’d rather stay.

LittleTree: Works for me! *g*

BuxomBitch: I’m sure it does, Red Menace. Screw that! You owe me for pain and suffering. I should dispatch an Oracle to shove a rebar through your head. Or up your ass. Course, with you, that’s a two-for-one deal, isn’t it? That’s what I call discount shopping.

LittleTree: Jeez, let it go already.

1EyedMonster: ROFL. Sorry, Will, but ROFLMAO!

ImpalaHotness: HOLY SHIT! Lady, I don’t know who the fuck you are, but what’s your phone number?

LittleTree: Who’s that?

ImpalaHotness: Who the shit are you, Twig?

BuxomBitch: LMFAO

CursedWithEmo: Uh, Willow? That’s my brother, Dean. Dean, this is Willow, the most powerful witch on the planet.

ImpalaHotness: Whatever.

BuxomBitch: I like this tool! Sam, you should have told me your brother was awesome.

CursedWithEmo: He sure thinks so. Ask him; he’ll tell you.

ImpalaHotness: *smirk*

BuxomBitch: So Xan…you and Sam boink yet, or are you still using those international calling cards for a little phone bow-chicka-wow-wowwwwwwwwww? *g*

CursedWithEmo: OMFG

1EyedMonster: STFU, Cordy! Boundaries!

ImpalaHotness: I KNEW IT! Sam, you little bitch!

LittleTree: WHAT?! ALEXANDER LAVELLE HARRIS! YOU CALL ME RIGHT NOW!

1EyedMonster: No way.

ImpalaHotness: Lavelle?

LittleTree: Xander! You can’t be gay! *I’m* the gay one! Remember?

ImpalaHotness: Whoa! You’re a lesbian?! Cooooooooooool.


ImpalaHotness is now ImpalaLovesLesbians


BuxomBitch: Sam, I take it back. Your brother is a total douche. Willow, spell his penis off his body and feed it to a pack of jackals.

LittleTree: *flips through musty old books*

1EyedMonster: LMFAO

CursedWithEmo: LMFAO

ImpalaLovesLesbians: Dude!
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