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Cobra Regenerated: Reborn

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This story is No. 1 in the series "Cobra Regenerated". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: It's back and hopefully better than ever. Xander Harris is The One Who Sees, what possible strangeness awaits him when he dons a new costume and becomes a pawn in the God's game.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Comics > GI JoeSithicusFR181558,52823623,70413 May 109 Oct 10No

Prologue: Teaser

Author's Notes: Remeber a little something I called Cobra Regenerated? Remember how ambitious it was combining G I Joe, The Transformers, Jem and the Holograms, Marvel Stuff and Ghostbusters? Remember how I totally screwed it up!? Well don't worry, I'm going to avoid doing that with this one. This chapter is brand new with a brand new twist on the Cobra Regenerated Theme. The costume choices will mostly stay the same with possible exception to Willow... I think I could do something even more twisted with her if I gave it a try.

This story will combine G I Joe/Transformers and maybe Jem and the Holograms from Sunbow's Cartoon Series rather than the Marvel Comic Series Uberverse I was trying to cook up. The story is going to start out much differently than you were thinking to reflect the new direction I'm going for. I hope my old fans will come roaring back with a vengence and I hope this won't turn them off. Much like the last one this isn't going to be Super Xander, and he's not going to start out with vast awesome ninja skills once Halloween is over. Plus I'm just trashing the entire Buffyverse Canon in this one, no re-writing seasones two, three, four, five... Etc. Etc. Elements will be used, but not the same as before as we focus more on the Crossover Elements. (I just can't stand to waste time re-hashing scenes, dialogue and everything else verbatim from the Buffyverse. It's not original, I mean just about every fanfiction author under the sun has done that to death, including me. And it's just not fun, so... Yeah, I'm going to shut up now before this Author's Notes becomes way too long.)

Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners. Hasbro owns the G I Joe/Transformers/Jem characters as does Sunbow productions even though it's a defunct animation company these days. While Joss owns everything Buffy. I make no claims otherwise and hereby state emphatically I am making not one single solitary shred of profit by writing this piece of fanfiction. So kindly refrain from all that legal stuff, please and thank you. :D



G I Joe is the Code Name for America’s Daring, Highly Trained Special Mission Force… It’s Purpose – To Defend Freedom Against Cobra, A Ruthless Terrorist Organization Determined to Rule the World!

Fire had erupted from the exploding ordnance being flung haphazardly by both sides. Sgt. Slaughter’s vehicle had been destroyed by Serpentor and Lt. Falcon had been knocked to the ground.

Duke saw his brother lying there. His concern clouded his better judgment and with a cry of Falcon’s name he was off – racing to his half-brother’s side in hopes of sparing him a terrible fate.

“You, young one, you nearly thwarted my destiny!” Serpentor stated as he walked through the flames towards the slowly recovering Falcon. He removed one of his serpents from around his neck and it hardened into a weaponized form.

Duke appeared holding a weapon of his own and the two began to fight.

Falcon saw his brother and called out his name. Concerned that his brother might not be able to stop Serpentor if he was too focused on trying to protect his worthless hide.

Duke was sent sprawling during the short skirmish, and Serpentor retrieved his fallen serpent once again willing it with his mind to take on a spear-like density.

“Die, arrogant Earth scum!” Serpentor stated hurling his weapon at the two Joes.

Falcon saw it coming straight for him and froze – unable to react. His brother shouted defiantly and moved into the path of the living javelin hurled by Cobra’s Emperor. The snake pierced flesh and bone and its jaws clamped around his heart.

“Duke?” Falcon asked as his brother slowly fell backwards. He caught him in his arms and lowered him to the ground gently. The sight of the gruesome organic missile sticking out of Duke’s chest made him sick to his stomach and he almost lost it.

“He took the snake meant for your heart!” Serpentor declared while Falcon removed the offending object from his brother’s chest. “But his sacrifice will be in vain! This I Command!” Serpentor fled and his troops withdrew alongside of him – victorious in their efforts to capture the Broadcast Energy Transmitter.

But Falcon couldn’t be bothered to care – his brother was dying at his feet and there was literally nothing he could do about it. The gaping entrance wound covered in blood and gore was the only thing he could look at – unable to ignore the pain and grief welling up inside of him.



“I guess I can’t look out for you anymore, kid,” Duke whispered a few short minutes later as everyone gathered around him. Doc was trying his best, but Duke knew that he wasn’t going to survive this.

“Don’t say that, Duke,” Falcon argued. “Doc will fix you up.”

“This isn’t Doc’s day for miracles,” Duke said coughing slightly when he tried to laugh it off. “It’s my own fault. Too slow.”

“No!” Falcon shot back. “No! You did it to save me.”

“Promise me you’ll try to get your act together… be a credit to your country,” Duke requested squeezing Falcon’s hand tighter.

“I’ll make you proud, you’ll see,” Falcon said trying to make Duke continue fighting for his life with his cheerful tone. It was a half-hearted attempt at best.

“Yo Joe…” Duke said his last words with his final breath and closed his eyes for good. His head falling into Scarlett’s lap.

The red-haired woman broke into tears. “He’s dead,” she stated with a heart wrenching sob. “He’s dead,” she repeated.

The others broke down as well – it was a fact of life, but every soldier in G I Joe had expected to live long happy lives. They were the best of the best, they could do no wrong and none of their number had ever died before while fighting Cobra.

Duke had even jokingly commented once that Cobra’s soldiers couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn. And here he was – the first official casualty of their war against terror.

“Falcon, don’t worry, we’ll do everything in our power to avenge Duke’s death,” General Hawk vowed placing a hand on the younger man’s shoulder. And then he turned around so as not to show his grief to his men. “Yo Joe,” he whispered softly.



Six Weeks Later:

The complete roster of G I Joe stood at the gravesite of their fallen colleague in full dress uniform – the eulogy had been delivered and now they were honoring the fallen soldier with this moment of silence.

Scarlett had shed all the tears she could and had turned away unable to face her friends.

At the sight of her grief Snake-Eyes stood close by to offer what comfort he could.

The funeral would have been just another ordinary soldier’s funeral if not for one obvious difference – the towering forms of three ‘guests’ who were technically out of this world.

“Sir, why exactly are they here?” Jinx asked General Hawk as the group began to break up to grieve in private.

“That’s classified, Soldier, until oh nine-thirty tomorrow,” Hawk replied. Leaving his team he approached the leader of the vastly different and yet semi-similar group.

“Our condolences for the loss of your friend, General Hawk,” the large red and blue unit commented.

“That’s very kind of you, Optimus Prime,” Hawk returned somberly.

“Normally we would not intrude upon this moment of grieving, but your President insisted we meet,” the Autobot leader stated.

“And with good reason, Prime,” Hawk stated clasping his hands behind his back. “Now that Cobra is no longer a threat thanks to our efforts, we have been instructed – more like ordered – to join with you in your efforts against the Decepticons.” Hawk smiled wistfully – he had hoped that his fighting days would be over now that Cobra was gone – sadly it proved not to be the case. “Perhaps with a combined force we’ll be able to drive those sorry excuses for toasters off of our planet.”

Optimus chuckled and made his way towards the central base of G I Joe with General Hawk. “It may prove possible at that, General Hawk,” he stated.

“Then we can discuss options?” Hawk wondered.

“Won’t you require time for grieving?” Optimus asked delicately.

“As a fellow leader of soldiers you above all should know we don’t always have that luxury,” Hawk pointed out.

Prime nodded sympathetically and turned to his men. “Prowl, Jazz, I will relay what we have decided upon to the rest of the Autobots once my meeting with General Hawk is complete. I want you to remain in the area and prevent any Decepticon spies from infiltrating this facility,” he ordered.

“You can count on us, Optimus,” Prowl said converting to vehicle mode and driving off.

Jazz followed without a word.

“Now… let’s get down to business, General,” Prime stated.



“Careful, Hook, you’re almost there,” Scavenger said as Hook’s crane pulled up the remains of the B.E.T.

“What a piece of junk,” Starscream complained. “To think we flew all the way out here for a wasted pile of scrap!”

“That pile of scrap, Starscream, is capable of transmitting energy as effortlessly as the sun gives off light,” Megatron snapped. “Once we’ve repaired and modified this technology our war against the Autobots will at last be over!” he gloated with a chuckle. “If it can broadcast energy, then it stands to reason it can also create energy.”

“Big deal,” Starscream scoffed.

“As always, Starscream, you fail to grasp the magnitude of the situation. What a pity.” Megatron turned to the rest of his soldiers. “Come, we must return this to base immediately and prepare to transport it via space bridge to Shockwave on Cybertron,” he ordered in a confident tone.

As one unit the Decepticons rose into the air, but Starscream had inadvertently picked up an unseen passenger. A large tubular creature with multiple optics.

“Wasssss a man.”



Serpentor lay in the hospital bed coughing and breathing laboriously. When his Air Chariot lost control and took him with it, it almost killed him once he crashed. His army now lay scattered to the four winds – imprisoned or dead – Pythona and Nemesis Enforcer both lost during the battle against G I Joe.

Many of the Cobra-La citizens were gone as well. Destroyed when the B.E.T exploded. Cobra had been dealt a crippling blow this day, but he privately vowed that like the Phoenix it would rise again.

“What should we do now, mighty Golobulus?” Mindbender questioned the injured ruler of Cobra-La.

“All is lost! The spores destroyed, my people all but extinct… and it is all the fault of those blasted G I Joes!” Golobulus snarled slamming his fist into the side of his seat.

“We have been cheated our victory,” Serpentor said coughing. “Curse Cobra Commander!” he spat.

Boannya placed her hand on his shoulder to prevent him from sitting up. “Don’t strain yourself, great Serpentor,” she urged her face grim. “Your body requires time to heal.”

“Father, we must consult the One,” Constricta stated undulating across the floor on her large tail.

“Yes. Only he will know what we should do now,” Golobulus agreed with a grim expression. “Our mission to reclaim the Earth has failed, but we may yet salvage victory from defeat.”

Mindbender glanced between the two serpentine creatures curiously. “Who is this One?” he asked eager to learn more knowledge.

“That whom we have worshipped since the dawn of our creation, Doctor Mindbender,” Golobulus replied. “Our God. Unicron.”



Golobulus and his daughters were in a circle – in the center of their mystical circle was a small spherical object. Its origins were steeped in legend and lost to history. All Cobra-La citizens knew was that with it they could communicate with their dormant God.

“We seek the blessings of the Chaotic one, we call upon our lord and master, Unicron! We beseech you!” Golobulus prayed his arms spread wide. The sphere began to pulsate and hovered into the air glowing a strange combination of blue and red.

“Golobulus, speak!” Unicron commanded his voice deep and resonant.

“My lord, your master plan for the humans of Earth has failed. We humbly beg your forgiveness it was not our intention to lose,” Golobulus stated lowering his gaze to the ground.

“Your failure is a result of your own incompetence!” Unicron snapped.

“No! My lord!” Golobulus tried to defend.

“SILENCE!” Unicron bellowed.

“Forgive me, my lord,” Golobulus pleaded supplicating before the globe.

“That is better.” Unicron’s presence caused the sphere to shift and hover closer to Golobulus. “Through your obsessive need to eliminate the human race and reclaim Earth you have jeopardized all of my carefully laid plans,” Unicron stated darkly. “It has taken me eons to replenish the energies spent in creating you as a stop-gap measure to prevent humanity from interfering in the Cybertronian Wars. Now, Megatron has the Broadcast Energy Transmitter and intends to modify it to create Energon and fuel his conquest of Cybertron.” Unicron appeared to be glowering at Golobulus. “It is too soon! Megatron and his Decepticons could manage to destroy the Autobots, and in doing so allow my hated rival entrance back into this dimensional realm. You disappoint me, Golobulus,” Unicron stated coldly.

Golobulus recoiled in fear from the sphere. He had to think quickly if he was going to turn this around – his daughters were not yet ready to assume the mantle of leadership of Cobra-La’s citizens. What was left of them. “Allow us… another chance, my Lord,” he pleaded.

“I give you no further opportunities to fail me, Golobulus, I have decided to send specialists,” Unicron informed. “They will assume your duties, obey them or suffer my wrath.”

“As you command,” Golobulus returned. “Where shall we find your followers, my lord?” he asked.

“In the City of Angels,” Unicron replied. “They will assume the mantles of Senior Partners to Wolfram & Hart… Do not fail me again, Golobulus,” Unicron warned before his presence began to fade from the sphere.

Once again Golobulus bowed in supplication to his god. “Never, Lord Unicron,” he whispered as the sphere’s energy faded.

“Father,” Boannya called. “What of Cobra?” she asked.

“Leave it to its fate,” Golobulus decreed with a sneer. “We shall take Serpentor and once he has recovered he shall serve our master’s grand plan,” he stated.

Both daughters nodded in unison and together the trio left the cavern.



Unicron ached – his energy barely supplied him with enough power to move his incredible bulk the vast distances required to feed on planets. But that did not mean he couldn’t at least generate enough spare energy to communicate with his minions.

The trio of aliens emerged from the shadows of their spaceship and bowed to him – his monitors flickered and crackled each one displaying a different angle of the same image. That of Megatron retrieving the Broadcast Energy Transmitter.

“Speak, master, and we shall obey,” the leader of the trio stated.

Unicron growled. “Go to Earth, Lobotomaxx, and do as I have instructed. We must ensure that the Autobots begin preparations for combating Megatron and thwart his efforts,” Unicron ordered.

The alien nodded. “It shall be done, my master,” he stated. “Predacon, Carcass, to Earth!” he commanded.

Unicron chuckled as the ship began to take off. “Nothing my brother does now can stop me from destroying this reality and moving on to the next.”



Deep beneath the surface of Cybertron systems stirred. A large transparent tube rose on aged and nearly rusted hydraulics and a figure emerged. A hulking predominantly white Cybertronian with many markings. All written in an alien script.

Optics blinking the Cybertronian moved – his maroon hands opening and closing as his senses began to detect the anomalous energy readings of the Chaosbringer.

“Your senses do not deceive you,” an ancient voice rasped in an aged whisper. “My brother stirs within this reality and I am powerless to prevent his rejuvenation,” Primus informed his creation.

The Cybertronian glanced at the softly glowing greenish blue sphere in the center of the room. The spark of Primus. “He interferes with the destiny of another world, lord Primus,” the Cybertronian stated. “He must be stopped.”

“I am aware of this, Vector Prime,” Primus stated. “But you alone can not interfere, it would draw out a confrontation which neither of us is prepared for.” Primus coughed and his essence dimmed slightly. “Already I begin to weaken,” he stated.

“What must I do, Lord Primus?” Vector Prime asked eager to assist his creator.

Primus shimmered and an image appeared. Three young humans lying safe in their beds. “Unicron fails to realize what I have been doing for the human race since its inception,” he stated. “Their potential has been nurtured, their abilities expanded. The result of this is the breaching of dimensional gateways between realities where darkness flourishes. But their capacity for great good is still theirs. You must teach these three, mold them, Vector Prime.”

Vector Prime studied the three children. “They are so young… And how am I to accomplish this task without Unicron becoming aware of it?” Vector Prime questioned.

Primus chuckled and a fourth image appeared. “Send part of your essence into this man, Rupert Giles, he has tried to escape his destiny… But as all humans learn, it is impossible to flee from one’s destined path.”

Vector Prime bowed to his creator again and brought a sword from his side – he would not fail his master. He could not. “I shall prepare them for their part in this plan, lord Primus,” he stated. “I promise you shall not be defeated,” he added.

Primus smiled – or rather approximated the gesture – and once again adopted his dormant state in anticipation of the battle that was to come. What neither God could foresee however was the contributing factor that Chaos would have on the events yet to be.



Outside of Time: Realm of the Powers That Be.

“Those two are trifling with our charges again,” ‘Jasmine’ complained as she turned to face the other Powers.

“Yes, but it is their nature,” one of the older Powers stated. “We mustn’t judge and we can not interfere,” he cautioned.

‘Jasmine’ glowered. “My plans could be jeopardized by this meddling,” she muttered to herself. “There must be a way to stop them from achieving their goals with…” she trailed off as she suddenly detected a possible strand that Fate had not yet strengthened or set in stone. It was a strand connected to All Hallow’s Eve and the great convergence of mystical properties which occurred during that sacred of all evenings.

“What are you thinking, young one?” another of the older Powers asked noting her sudden silence.

‘Jasmine’ smiled. “Nothing, nothing at all,” she stated before departing from the realm of the Powers that Be. “Time to throw a hitch in those annoying interloper’s plans,” she whispered gathering up some of the energies bleeding off of the Hellmouth. Weaving the energies like a thread into a shimmering representation of three costumes – the Power inserted them into the timeline. “This should prevent them from destroying my plans,” she stated. “Now I simply have to gently push Alexander into choosing a different costume and convincing his two friends to do likewise.”



Cobra Island.

Cobra Commander had the Joe brought before him. He stared in contempt at the silent Ninja Commando and clutched his staff tighter in his hand. “You may have stumbled upon my plans, Joe, but you will not live to report them to your superiors or those miserable Autobots,” Cobra Commander stated darkly.

Moving to step back from the condemned – the Crimson Guards watched as Cobra Commander rose from his throne, pistol in hand, and fired a laser point blank into the captured Joe’s temple.

Chuckling darkly Cobra Commander tossed his weapon aside. “Dispose of the carcass,” he ordered. Slowly lowering back into his throne he clutched his head briefly as a wave of nausea came over him. Gasping hard for breath he waited until his men left before he pulled an oxygen mask from behind the throne. “Curse that Decepticon for his treachery,” he hissed gulping in lungfuls of fresh air. “But with my new resources this pathetic Synthoid body shall be restored to pristine… status… Arkeville!” he shouted. “Bring me, Doctor Arkeville!” he demanded of his underlings.



Sunnydale, California: One Fifteen PM…

Xander Harris was beginning to hate karma. His dad had stumbled onto the fatigues he had planned on wearing – and ruined them with his latest binge to escape the doldrums of his life. It royally pissed him off, but there was no way he’d do anything against Tony ‘Drunkard’ Harris.

Approaching the new costume shop warily he hoped he could convince Willow and Buffy to dress up in some kind of theme, - that way they could pool their resources – just so long as the girls didn’t realize how little pooling he actually did.

He found Buffy ogling a noblewoman’s dress and Willow clutching a simple ghost costume to her chest as if it were a life-line. With a heavy sigh he put on a big fake smile and walked up to his girls – and heaven help him if they ever found out he called them that in his head.

“Hey guys, I’ve got an idea,” he said grinning from ear to ear.

And somewhere the Earth trembled.

To Be Continued…
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