Disclaimer: Buffy and The Office belong to their respective owners.
Timeline & Setting: Occurs during S4 Buffy and some nebulous time between S2 and S4 of The Office (U.S. version), although The Office specific episode timeline is sure to be disregarded. The Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin will also be located about 30 minutes outside of Sunnydale for convenience with the company's headquarters located in Los Angeles.
Notes: The written style will still maintain the mockumentary aspect that is so essential to The Office. The POV of the interviewee will also be written above 'camera interview' scenes. Sadly, this will also probably be most enjoyable to those who have seen the American version of The Office. I'm thinking this will just be a universe of drabbles.
"Turn that frown upside-down, Angela!" A whir-crank party gift spun dangerously close to the bleached accounting supervisor's head.
"I find this incredibly inappropriate Michael." The deadpan, no-nonsense reply put a damper on the regional manager's efforts.
"Uh, Michael, I think maybe you should spend some more time in your office, uh, reflecting." The secretary, Pam, led away the quickly tearing, good intentioned man.
"It's just," a sniffle, "so hard."
Michael Scott – Regional Manager
Blowing his nose, "So, I've been trying to keep up everyone's spirits in spite of Meredith's death, but it's hard to make a good joke when you can't stop crying. Phyllis hasn't even come back to work yet. Well, she came for a day, but all of that bawling – we had to send her home."
"In a way," he pulls out another tissue, "Meredith really was a walking time bomb. She was a lactose-intolerant alcoholic. She didn't have much to live for-" Michael breaks down into hysterics, barely understandable, "except the company and me."
"Any word on Phyllis?" Dwight, the top sales representative, questioned the disgusted secretary. His teeth were painted black from digging in the community jellybean jar.
"She called me this morning. She's still on sick leave." Pam looked towards the computer screen, avoiding the gruesome sight.
"If this keeps up I might have to perform an investigation." Dwight continued fumbling through the jellybeans, chomping messily.
"I'm sure she's just grieving."
"Well then, she can just come back to the office and grieve with the rest of us. If Michael cries tortuously from his office, then Phyllis can sniffle piteously at her desk, knitting."
"Just give her a little more time. People deal with death differently."
"Alert her that she has three more days. Company policy allots two weeks for grieving. After that, I'm going in."
Toby Flenderson – Human Resources
"It's probably a good thing that we're finally replacing Meredith. Not that I didn't like her and that we won't miss her, but Michael… He's been trying to throw parties and bring cake since the funeral. The man is fragile and doesn't understand the grieving process. A new employee might be exactly what we need to distract him, so that I can council the rest of the employees.
"Actually," Toby briefly looks down, exhaling tiredly, "I don't think most of the employees understand the grieving process." He slowly nods, "I think Dwight needs to see a psychiatrist, maybe start taking some medication. That guy's a nut."
"So, everyone, we've been short a Supplier Relations Representative, but all of that is going to change today." All eyes in the office regarded Michael and the sheepish blonde by his side.
"It's my pleasure to present to you this, hubba hubba, beautiful young woman," Michael's enthusiastic smile went unmatched by the blank stares, except for Jim who wiggled his eyebrows playfully at the camera, "Elizabeth fo-fizabeth, fee-fie-fo lizard-breath – Eliiiizabeth. Summers!"
The girl timidly waved back. "Hi, uh, you can call me Buffy for short."
"Oh, uh." Michael awkwardly regarded the new employee, expression temporarily scandalized. He grimaced a little, shuffling his feet. "That would have been a lot funnier if you would have told me sooner."
"Er, sorry." Buffy's apology was more embarrassed than sincere.
Elizabeth 'Buffy' Summers – new Supplier Relations Representative
"Michael is a little weird, but I think working here will be pretty okay. Everyone here seems a lot less stressed than most of the people I know." Buffy looks around, pursing her lips.
"Paper, office, wheelie chairs. Seems pretty relaxing to me," she pauses, staring straight ahead, "but nobody really told me this would all be on film."
"I'm not particularly spiritual or anything, but sometimes, I have these dreams. I think they're things that my subconscious knows or whatever, gut instincts, sort of like premonitions. Sometimes this stuff comes true. It could be coincidence or something else, if you believe that sort of thing." Buffy tries to look casual, but a worried look spreads across her face.
"I had a dream about Michael last night," she pauses, alarmed, "no, not one of those dreams. Anyway, he was a demon. Y'know, doing demony stuff. Not that demons exist or anything. And not that I know what demon activities would be if they did."