Off To See The Wizard: Are WE Really The We We Were
Off To See The Wizard: Are WE Really The We We Were?
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the OC's and the plot such as it is. BtVS belongs to Joss. Bones belongs to Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation and author Kathy Reichs. ‘NCIS’ belongs to Belisarius Productions, and CBS. A peripheral but highly important entity belongs to the BBC. I own nothing am nothing and am not making a sou from this, I just do it cause I'm retired and hate golf and loath fishing!
Vow: I shall not bash any character needlessly or excessively, I love them all!
Now edited for the sake of continuity!
It had been many long years since the Fall of Sunnydale. Finally married to Xander two years ago she was 37 on her last birthday. Buffy Anne Summers actually lived to be 37!!! She felt like she was 130! Patrolling the cemeteries of the nation's capitol she ached in places that she didn't even know she had in September 1997. She thought about her friends Xander and Willow were 37, Faith was 34, Dawnie was 31, and poor old Giles was 68!
Buffy lay quietly, trying not to wake up. Then she realized, she didn't hurt at all, in fact she felt pretty damned good! Good that is for someone lying on something cold and metallic. Cold, and metallic? Now just a damned second!!!! She did not open her eyes, she squeezed them shut even tighter. The last thing she remembered wasn't going to bed it was standing, with Willow and Dawn, in the middle of Mt. Olivette Cemetery on Bladensburg Road in DC...surrounded by vampires and demons led by a creature like she had never seen before.
Fearing the worst she screwed up her courage and slowly opened one eye. Slowly she opened the other one and cautiously looked around. Sunlight streamed through a multitude of windows and glass ceiling tiles. To her left lay Willow, not the 37 year old Willow she knew so well but the 16 year old Willow she met her first day of school in Sunnydale. To her right was a 16 year old Dawn! She forced herself into a sitting position, and looked around further. across the room lay three other women or rather teenage girls, a lean somewhat gawky brunette, a coffee colored beauty, and a long lean sexy girl with jet black hair. All of them were naked!
Buffy looked into the polished steel wall beyond those girls and was astonished to find a 16 year old Buffy looking back at her. Off to one side she found a pile of medium blue "scrubs" and white lab coats.
She was about to dress in a pair of the scrubs when she heard a "Muumph!" from the brunette. Buffy grabbed the first thing she could find that could serve as a weapon, a scalpel from a medical type tray...just in case. She was at the girls side at Slayer speed.
She watched as the girl cleared some errant hair from her mouth and opened her eyes.
"Who are you?" she asked, perhaps a bit roughly.
The girl gasped then her hand shot up and grabbed Buffy arm...faster than she should have been able to move.
"This is my lab so maybe you should identify yourself first." the girl said in a somewhat officious voice.
A second voice came from the black girl," Technically Doctor Brennan, I believe this being the autopsy room this is my lab".
The next thing they knew there were six female voices clamoring for each others attention.
"Everybody shut up!" Shouted the tall black haired girl with the pigtails. The shout was followed by the shrillest whistle that Buffy ever heard!
There was instant stunned silence, "That's better," said the girl with satisfaction!
"Now, I'm Abby Sciuto, forensic pathologist for NCIS," she said loudly. Then pointing to the brunette she said, "Your turn," and she stuck out her hand.
After a heartbeats pause the brunette said, "I'm Doctor Temperance Brennan, Forensic Anthropologist for the Jeffersonian Institute, and Forensic Consultant for the FBI."
Next up was the coffee-au-lait beauty, "Doctor Camille Saroyan, Chief of this unit, and FBI Medical Examiner."
Willow was nudged forward by Dawn.
"Um-err I'm Willow Rosenberg, um, Doctor Willow Danielle Rosenberg High-um-Witch, and Computer guru for the New International Slayers, and Watchers Council."
"High What," demanded Brennan? "Magic doesn't exist!"
"High Witch," Willow stated matter of factedly, raising her hand palm up presenting Temperance with a small but very hot flame.
"I'm Doctor Dawn Marie Summers Chief Linguist, and Demonologist for the Council." Dawn smiled at them.
Brennan was about to speak when Doctor Saroyan placed a hand on her shoulder, "Obviously Doctor we are not in "Kansas" anymore."
"Kansas..." Temperance started out, but was obviously confused.
"OK, Blondie, your dead last," said Abby to Buffy, What kind of doctor are you?
"Not a doctor," Buffy pouted. Then looking up she snarled," I am Buffy Anne Summers the senior, and longest living Vampire Slayer in history, and co-head of the Slayers and Watchers Council."
"Witches, Demons, Vampires?" Brennan huffed.
"Yup, not in Kansas at all," mumbled Cam, "lions and tigers, and bears weren't dangerous enough!"
"Look," said Willow shyly, and maybe a little slyly, "as nice as the scenery is, girls, I suggest we get some clothes on, it's a bit chilly in here, like a morgue." Turning to Abby she said nice tats by the way."
Abby smiled and said , "Thanks I like your tat too!"
Willow wiggled her butt making the little black cat at the tail of her spine dance.
Cam smiled ruefully, "Maybe because it essentially IS a morgue."
After the six pack of teens had dressed in the scrubs they sat in a circle around the table in the next room, to discuss their strange situation.
"Maybe we should go outside and reconnoiter..you know find out what's going on around here." said Buffy uncertainly.
Suddenly the large screen at the end of the room came to life!
"That may not be the best of ideas just yet." said the face of an elderly white haired man wearing an old fashioned black frock coat a white shirt with a stand-up collar and a black ribbon tie. "You must be better prepared what you will find outside of this building. This building is self sustaining, and is constructed and has been fortified to last a millennium and more. Do not fret outside you will and actually must go, but you need knowledge, and preparation."
"Who are you?" Queried Dr. Brennan, "are you the one who brought us here?"
"The answer to your fist question I am a friend, and shall be your mentor," he said with a grandfatherly smile.
"And the answer to the second question," Brennan said a bit belligerently.
"That child is a much more complicated matter to explain. We will have to table that until a later time. Suffice it to say in a way , yes I brought you here but not in the way you think, and not the 'you" you think you are. Oh my I'm getting a headache. For now explore the building and pay particular attention to weaponry and armor, you're not in a museum by chance you know! Hmmm, I have business to attend to so out. Oh by-the-by, the next time I speak to you I may look different, pay it no mind." He paused, Oh, and I shall be sending two more to help you , one is an esteemed general from your realities future Miss Summers, the other is a renowned investigator from yours Miss Sciuto. Trouble is they are both male and males are a problem where you are so I have to change their sex, and insure that that does not drive them insane, both are men of great ego. When they arrive you can call them Dre and Moth I shall implant that directive in their minds. alright ladies good day to you." The screen went blank.
"What did you get from that," asked Cam?
"Absolutely nothing..." Brennan started, only to be cut-off by Dawn.
"What I got is that it is a really hostile world out there. Women are safer than men, but not so much. If we are to survive we should find arms and armor that will at least give us a fighting chance," she gushed, " Dr S. you and big brained Dr. B. worked in this place in your world give us a hint what we can find and where."
It was becoming obvious that Dawn had little patience, respect or liking for Temperance.
"Well the exhibit halls are to the east and one floor us below, but I'm afraid there are currently no functioning modern weapons since the terrorist threats of 2001 through 2010. There are some swords, and armor though. They are from then ancient Egyptian Bronze era all the way up to the middle ages. We will also have some military uniforms on display from the Civil War through the present. This is not my true area of expertise but knowledge of them is peripheral to what I study." Temperance said enunciating every word distinctly.
"Coolness" said Dawn, "What is the what and where is the where?"
"Just what is your area of expertise besides being a cold fish that is," asked Buffy?
Before Brennan can speak Cam spoke up to diffuse the building tension.
"Temperance is the most respected foremost forensic anthropologist in the world today." she said.
"And a forskinsic arthrofolical does what, exactly study foresk..." Buffy grumbled?
" For-En-Sic Anthropologist She studies the remains of the dead to discover cause of death, how old they are and when they died. Her main area of study was skeletal remains. Which is why her boy...err...partner nicknames her 'Bones'."
"Cam!" Brennan shouted in indignation.
"You're that Doctor Brennan?" asked Abby in awe! " I read some of your papers, and even attended one of your lectures! You are the Goddess of Forensics."
"Bones, huh...I like it 'Bones ' it is," said Dawn. " 'We got 'Bones, 'Slayer', 'Red Witch, 'Goth Girl', we still need something for Cam though."
"How about you young lady," Cam asked?
"Oh me," asked Dawn, "I am 'The Key', never born created, powerful, and powerless unless blood is spilled or the right words of power are spoken. Not a goddess, but not truly human either. Now thanks for asking or not I'm NOW alright with it since I am with my sister/mother Buffy whom I love as both."
"I'm confused," Cam said..
"No," quipped Dawn, " that's not a good nickname, harrumph, 'Confused' indeed!.
"Cam is our Medical Examiner and Medical Doctor as well." Brennan said.
"Well we can't call you 'Bones' like in Star Trek, 'Cutter' no, 'Ghoul' no, double no. What else are you?"
"She's a Foster Mother!" Brennan interjected.
"A mom, by choice not necessity? Perfect!" Dawn shouted, "'MOM, it is!"
"No, not....But...." Cam sputtered.
"To late the die is cast 'Mom' it is," Dawn teased.
Just the a brilliant light emanated from the autopsy lab.
"I think our two he/she's are here," Dawn said excitedly.