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crackfic: the squeakquel

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Summary: I am going to hell for writing this. Alvin and Simon talk while Theodore eats cheese puffs. This is not for Kids! Read warnings before you read the story!

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Cartoons > Chipmunks, ThesciphyFR1816481342322 May 1022 May 10Yes
Crackfic: The Squeakquel!

By Sciphy

Warnings: lets start with the easiest… this story is SLASH!!! Now It gets out there… PSEUDO BEASTIALITY, INCEST, VOYEURISM, AND FOODSEX. There might even be some Het thinking in here.

Lets face it… this story is going to be the reason I get sent to hell! This is what happens when you are stuck in quarantine with only kids movies and the internet to keep you company…

Disclaimer: The chipmunks do not belong to me! They belong to FOX! I make no money off of this, I get nothing for this except to get the mental image on the internet where it belongs.

Please flame, this story! I so enjoy hate mail! If you flame this story be warned I will laugh at you with my friends. I am warning you now… IF YOU CANNOT LAUGH AT HORRIBLE THINGS THEN GO AWAY AND DON’T READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!

If, on the other hand, you have a demented sense of humor and want to laugh at something that is just SOOOOOOO WRONG then please enjoy… and feel free to let me know how evil I am… or whatever.


Theodore was sitting in the bag of cheese puffs when he heard his brother come into the kitchen. He huddled farther back in the bag, on the top shelf, trying to make himself (and the last bag of cheese puffs) less noticeable. It’s not that he wouldn’t normally share with his brothers, after all they practically did everything together, but since this was the last of the bag, and there were so little left, he had decided to try something he had been wanting to do for a while. It’s not like anyone was going to miss the last couple in the bag. And really, he was planning on eating them after he was finished. But he just wasn’t quite done yet.

So while normally he would have jumped out of the bag and run to his brothers to see what they were doing, today he just sat back and listened.

“Simon, come on. Forgive me, please? I didn’t know what they were doing until just before you did. And, I did try to warn you before you gave him the citation… Just please, stop and talk to me!”
“Really, Alvin?! You want me to believe that you had no clue that your new ‘brothers’ were playing a prank on me? That you had no idea that the people that you have been spending all of your time with, were going to make fun of me? You can’t even come home before bed time anymore… I mean, you don’t… you haven’t… You know what, Alvin? Just leave me alone! Go ‘play’ with your new brothers!”

“Simon! You can’t think that I have been… But, I would never- “ Theodore heard a muffled thump almost as if someone were hitting the wall. He peeked out of his hiding spot, hoping that he wasn’t going to have to move to break up a fight. Alvin had pushed Simon against the wall, but surprisingly, the two were not fighting, at least not with fists. They might have been fighting with their tongues though, it was hard to tell from the angle he was at. Before Theodore could get a better view Alvin had pulled back. “They are not you! They are not my brothers! Theodore and You are my brothers, Simon. They could never replace you, and they will NEVER take me away from you! Just please, trust me? I love you and nothing is going to change that!”

“Alvin, you had better be there. You don’t get another chance after this. I don’t think I could ever forgive you if you chose them over me again.”

“I’ll be there Simon.” Theodore saw Alvin kiss their brother again before dragging him out of the room.

Looking down at the remainder of the cheese puffs Theodore had to wonder if the Chipettes liked cheese puffs… Maybe he should take them a bag. As a “welcome to the school, first female chipmunks that I have seen in a while” gift

The End

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