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Jokes On You

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Summary: When Angelus captured Xander, it has a lasting affect on the jester of the Scoobies. Insanity and past torture. Character death. One shot.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
DC Universe > Batman > Xander-CenteredxandersgirlFR1511,2160112,93126 May 1026 May 10Yes
Jokes on you

This was posted on my old account here, Supersaiyangirl. It's now edited and I've decided to post it again. Enjoy!

I don't own either BtVS or Batman.


After Buffy had sent the one true love of her short life, too hell, literally, she went and searched the rest of the warehouse. When Spike had come with the offer of co-operation, he'd mentioned that there was something of hers hidden somewhere in the building. By the way he'd said it, she got the impression it was more than stolen clothes or whatever. She forced her way into one of the few locked rooms in the warehouse, and was very almost sick at what she saw inside.
For the last two weeks, her best male friend, Xander Harris had been missing. They had searched relentlessly and hadn't given up hope that they would find him. Now she had found him, but in a way she wished she hadn't. It had taken a little time for her to recognise that it was Xander. Torture wouldn't be the right word for what had been done to him. It looked like most of the bones in his body had been broken, the worst being his left wrist which was pointing in a direction it really shouldn't be. In his right hand there was a shard of wood,, which he gripped so hard it was digging to his skin. Then there was his skin, he was naked so it was clear to see that the only place not baring cuts of bites was his groin. What had made her feel like throwing up was his face, the sides of his mouth had been cut open, artificially extending his mouth, near enough from ear to ear. Despite all of that it wasn't the worst thing by any stretch, no the worse thing was that Xander's eyes were open, he was staring up at the ceiling, blinking occasionally but otherwise not showing any indication that he was there at all.

“Xander?” Buffy said as she got closer, until she was within his line of sight. But there was not response from the injured teen, no spark of recognition, nothing that showed that Xander Harris was at home at all.
The doctors said that other then slight loss of mobility in his left wrist, and nasty scars on his cheeks, Xander would make a full recovery. His mind, however, was another thing entirely, apparently due to the extreme pain he had been suffering from and the very likely case that Angelus hadn't let him pass out, Xander's mind had shut down sending him into a catatonic state. There was a high chance that he would never recover from it.

Angel slipped into the hospital room, where Xander was sitting up in his bed, unseeing. He was physically well enough to leave the hospital, and would be moved to a psychiatric hospital in the next few days. Angel had come back from hell and had spent a few weeks as nothing better than an animal, Buffy had been the one to bring him back to his senses. Then he'd remembered what he'd done while he'd been Angelus, the people he'd killed and Xander. Angel had never really liked the kid, but Angelus had taken it to a whole new level. After a hundred years of not being able to torture, Angelus had poured it all onto the Harris kid. He'd done things that he hadn't even done to Dru when he made her go insane. Angel wasn't sure what coming to see the kid would accomplish, but he needed to see him. Angel sat in the chair next to Harris's bed, and winced at the sight of the angry red healing scars on the kid's face. He looked into Xander's eyes for a moment and had to look away again as there was nothing in them, they were empty. Angel shifted uncomfortably, he wasn't good at this kind of thing.

“I don't really know why I'm here.” Angel said braking the silence that had carried on far to long. “I don't even know if you can hear me.” If he had been looking, Angel would have seen a small tightening of the muscles around Xander's eyes, and that Xander's grip on the makeshift stake had tightened as well. The doctors hadn't been able to brake Xander's grip on the stake and so they had left it where it was.

“I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.” Angel said and sighed, he felt like a weight had been lifted. It couldn't make up for what he'd done to the kid, but it was a start. “You didn't deserve it and I...” Angel stopped as Xander's breathing increased, before he blinked slowly. Angel couldn't believe it, had his apology really just snapped the kid out of his catatonic state. Angel felt hope rise within him that the kid was going to be alright. Then Xander's eyes turned towards Angel and Xander's mouth split into a grin,. It looked painful, as the grin stretched the scars in ways they shouldn't move until they healed more, but Xander didn't seem to notice the pain it must have caused. Angel looked at the now alive eyes of Alexander Harris, he shivered as all hope left him. Angel knew what insanity looked like and Xander's eyes held no sanity at all. Xander looked round and licked his lips before locking eyes with Angel again, his grin fading into curiosity, he turned head to the side and spoke for the first time in months his voice was deep and raspy, from the screaming and lack of use since then.

“Why so serious?” He asked Angel. Before Angel had a chance to respond Xander brought up the stake and rammed it into Angel's heart. The vampire only had time to look surprised before he disappeared into dust. The grin returned to Xander face as he let go of the stake for the first time in months and he flexed his right hand. He got up and went to the cabinet, by his bed and put on the clothes that he found inside. They were not to his taste but would do for now. Turning back to bed he looked at the dust that covered the chair by the bed and the surrounding floor and frowned.

“The cleaning standards of hospitals today, terrible!” He declared. He licked his lips again and his eyes lighted on a pack of playing cards on the table near the bed. He walked over and shuffled though them until he found the card he was looking for. Discarding the other cards on the table, he turned back to the empty chair and placed the card on top of the dust, spending a few moments of make it just right, before standing up again. With an insane and dangerous smile on his face Xander left the room with a spring in his step. There was so much fun to be had.
When Buffy and Willow came to visit Xander later that day, all they found was an empty bed, a discarded stake, a chair covered with dust and lying in the dust was a playing card, a joker.

Please review, it helps my day go by :)

The End

You have reached the end of "Jokes On You". This story is complete.

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