Innocent Background Check
Do not own any of it.
“Dawn?” Willow’s voice rang out.
Dawn came bounding into the computer lab from the kitchen, her bowl of ice cream slathered liberally with tabasco sauce in hand and spoon in mouth. “Yesh?”
“You've got a background check request on you. Piss anybody off in the Navy?”
Dawn nibbled on her spoon. “Not that I know of.”
Willow leveled a look at Dawn.
“Well, there was this letter that I sent a little while ago, but I didn’t send it to the Navy. I sent it to that author Gemcity. He writes about the Navy, so maybe he told them.” At Willow’s look of shock, Dawn puffed indignantly. “What?”
“Why did you do that?”
“Because I was annoyed at him for introducing you guys to the ‘Rules’ and I couldn’t come up with a good plot for a fanfic where he got snacked on by a Twilight vamp. They just aren’t vampy enough. They’re fampy.” Dawn declared, proud of her word-making skills.
“True…but you are not going to distract me with your Stephanie-Meyers-can’t-write soapbox. What am I supposed to tell the Navy about your little anti-fangirl moment?”
“That I am very sorry and promise never to do it again?” Dawn pursed her lips innocently.
Willow rolled her eyes. “You know that doesn’t work with the feds.”
The innocent act flipped to the irritating act. “That you are very sorry and promise never to let the crazy little sister out of the attic again?” Dawn grinned.
Willow just glared.
“Well, who is doing the investigating? Maybe we can make plan A work if I do it in person. I do innocent in person very well.”
“A Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. Yeah, maybe you could pull this off with just an apology.”
“How do you know that?” It was Dawn’s turn to be skeptical.
“He’s Italian. They loved you in Italy. They actually thought your antics were ‘cute.’”
Dawn shook her head. “It was my legs, trust me. You have no idea how many old Italian geezers…No, I am not finishing that. You will just make another Rule, which is what got us into this in the first place.” Dawn redirected quickly. “What do we know about Special Agent DiNozzo, aside from him being Italian?”
Willow was much more forgiving than Buffy and let the ‘old Italian geezer’ comment slide. She would worm it out of Dawn later. They had a background check to stall. “Well, he has been at NCIS, that’s Naval Criminal Investigative Service for almost eight years. He is on a team that does the high profile or sensitive investigations.”
“That doesn’t make sense. All I sent was a little tiny letter.”
“Maybe Gemcity knows some government secrets or something. Let’s see who is on his team.” Willow did a little more tapping on the keyboard. “We have Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, that sounds familiar. And a Special Agent Timothy McGee.”
“Can you pull up McGee’s file?”
“Just a hunch.”
Willow commanded the computer do to so.
“Woah” said both women looking at the computer screen, now displaying a not-quite-so-flattering, obviously personnel file picture of Special Agent Timothy McGee.
“Is that…?” Willow asked.
“Yep. Mr. Gemcity himself. Looks like Buffy isn’t the only secret identity person out there.” Dawn giggled.
“Well, that explains why the homicide team is investigating deranged fanmail,” Willow shrugged.
“Hey, I am not deranged!”
“Well, you said something that must have sounded like it. You have to admit, you can do a fair impression of it.”
“Still, one letter and they are calling out the big guns?”
“Good point. Let’s see what our little McAuthor has gotten himself into before.” Willow stretched her arms and wiggled her fingers.
“They aren’t going to catch you at this, are they? ‘Cause that is so not going to help my not-a-psycho-fan case.” Dawn pulled up a chair.
“Nah, they’ll never catch the real Napster.” Willow cackled her best Seth Green chuckle.
“Have you ever noticed how much that actor really looks like…?” Dawn trailed off.
“Yeah, it is a little…oh, that explains it!” Willow triumphed.
“What?” Dawn peered at the computer.
“You aren’t McGee’s first crazy fan. It seems he had one who went on a killing spree a few years back.”
“Ooo. Ouch. Yeah. I’d be a little paranoid too, I suppose.” Dawn sighed. “I guess this means plan A. But you can't let them get too much on that check, or they won't believe me and you will have to break me out of the brig, literally.”
"How I am supposed to do that?" Willow asked.
"I don't know. Be creative. Be inefficient. You are always going on about the Old Watchers' computer skills. Surely there is fodder there." Dawn got up and marched out. "I gotta go pack for DC."
“Don’t forget!” Willow shouted after her.
“Yeah, yeah! Rule Number Nine-Hundred-and-Ninety-Nine: Dawn is not allowed to go anywhere by herself! Yes, I know.” Came Dawn’s sarcastic reply.
Oh, so much love from you all. My inner puppy is wiggling with joy. Next up, Dawn goes to NCIS.
And thanks to RevDorothy for the spell check. :)