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Always on my mind

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This story is No. 5 in the series "A Light in the Dark". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: When Buffy gets infected by demon blood and develops telepathy, what will she hear in Dean's mind about her?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Supernatural > Buffy-Centered > Pairing: Dean WinchesterAstridWinchesterFR18920,5301328,4572 Jun 103 Jul 10Yes

Let's take a drive

A/N: Chapter title is from a Christian Kane song but the song used is 'All in' by Lifehouse. Characters belong to their creators.

Chapter 9: Let's take a drive

Buffy fidgeted in her room and went over to her closet mirror to check her outfit for the fifth time while she waited for the doorbell to ring which announced Dean’s arrival. She’d opted for something casually dressy, a jade green top that brought out her eyes paired with jeans and her boots. Her hair was half up in a clip, the rest tumbling to her shoulders, and her choices of accessories were simple yet tasteful: her watch and a diamond drop necklace.

She smoothed her shirt and let out a shaky breath as she replayed Dean’s thoughts in her head over and over. When the doorbell finally rang, her heart jumped into her throat and she smiled at her reflection. “Here we go,” she whispered as she heard her mother greet Dean and call for her.

She grabbed her purse and slowly walked out of her room and down the stairs, her belly swarming with butterflies. Dean stood in the foyer below with a single red rose in his hand. He was dressed in jeans she recognized as his nice ones that he’d worn for Christmas and a maroon shirt that accentuated his build. He turned to watch her progress and his gaze traveled over her, and she watched as his smile grew.

When she reached the bottom stair he stared at her with a silly grin, his eyes burning with heat and she felt her hands start to shake with nerves. She linked them behind her back as she waited for him to say something, enjoying the fact that she’d made him go all nonverbal.

“You look…” He began in a hoarse voice and he stopped, unable to form an appropriate compliment that came close to describing her. “This is for you,” He said and held out the rose and she smiled as she accepted it.

“Oh you guys look so wonderful!” Joyce cooed as she watched them. “Here Buffy, I’ll put that in some water. You kids have fun!” Joyce took the rose from Buffy and went into the kitchen.

Buffy and Dean watched each other until he finally kicked his brain into gear and he stepped back to open the door again. “Come on.” He told her and she walked outside onto the porch. She linked her arm with his and he escorted her to the Impala, then opened the door and she climbed in. She watched him circle the car and get in on the driver’s side and he sat there for a moment before reaching into his pocket for the keys, as if he’d forgotten what to do.

As he turned to back out of her driveway, his eyes caught on hers and he stared again, feeling his brain turn to mush. She smiled at him and he returned it before pulling onto the road and heading for the edge of town. She watched the cars and trees pass before she turned to him, “Where are we going?”

“We’re just taking a drive, trust me okay?” He replied and she relaxed back in her seat as she listened to the radio. She felt him sneak quick glances at her as he drove but when they passed the Sunnydale sign she looked back at him. Before she could say anything he gave her a look, “Relax, enjoy the ride.”

She did, allowing herself to zone out as they drove farther and farther from Sunnydale. When he turned off onto a dirt road she looked around but recognized nothing. He switched the Impala into idle a moment later, keeping the headlights and stereo on and got out. When he opened her door, she followed, looking confused. He took her hand in his and started off down a path.

They walked a short distance and she let out an awed sigh as she saw a lake before her. The lights from a nearby town reflected off the water and she could see small ripples from the fish as he guided her over to a small clearing. She stared at the water in utter amazement, so consumed by how beautiful it looked that she didn’t notice the basket in Dean’s hand or that he’d begun to spread a blanket on the ground. She walked closer to the water’s edge as Dean worked in silence behind her with only the headlights of the Impala to illuminate him.

When she came back to earth she turned to see that Dean had made a small picnic on the blanket and she felt her throat catch. She watched as he crossed to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, his chest against her back and she leaned back into him.

“It’s beautiful,” She said and he smiled in agreement.

“I wanted to take you somewhere special.” He said and she angled her head to look at him. “Dad took Sammy and I here when we were kids, I must have been about 10 or 11. He was hunting something and he told Sam and I to set up camp and stay put.” Dean told her, his voice soft as he reminisced and she listened.

“We started a fire and we just watched the water, talking. Sam used to ask me what I’d do if I wasn’t a Hunter, I always said I’d be a mechanic,” Dean smiled at the memory and she smiled too, imagining a younger Dean. “Sam wanted to be a lawyer, I think he still does.” Dean said and he lapsed into silence, just watching the water and holding her.

“Can’t you still do that?” She asked him, “Be a mechanic?”

“I don’t know, there’s too many things out there that hurt people, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be normal.” Dean answered and tore his gaze away from the water to focus on her. “This place is sacred, no one knows about it but me, Sam and Dad.”

Buffy’s mind went completely blank as she realized what he was really telling her, that he was allowing her into that secret part of his past, into his heart. She tried to speak around whatever was lodged in her throat.

“Come on, I’m sure you’re hungry.” Dean pulled her gently over to the blanket and she sat across from him. She looked at the food that was spread out- a plate of sandwiches, two bottles of water, some watermelon, a bag of chips, and a covered plate of what she guessed was pie. She raised her gaze to him and he shrugged sheepishly at her, “I’m not very good at the romance thing.”

She stopped his apology by leaning forward and kissing him, and he relaxed. She realized just then how nervous he obviously was and she smiled reassuringly at him. “It’s perfect.”





They ate and listened to the stereo in companionable silence, giving each other quick smiles between bites. Once she was full she sat back and gasped quietly as she noticed that from their spot they had a clear view of the sky that glittered with stars. Dean placed everything back in the basket and set it aside and she gazed up at the winking stars.

Dean got to his feet and held out a hand for her and she looked at him, puzzled, but allowed him to pull her to her feet. Once he had, he slipped his arms around her and they started to sway.

She looked at him, her mouth hanging open slightly, “I thought you don’t dance?”

“I don’t,” Dean replied with a lazy smile. “In front of other people. Since it’s just us and the fish however…”

Buffy felt her heart melt as they danced and she felt completely weightless, everything else was a million miles away. She closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest and he held her tighter.


‘All night staring at the ceiling
counting for minutes I've been feeling this way
so far away and so alone.

But you know it's alright,
I came to my senses,
letting go of my defenses.
There's no way I'm giving up this time
yeah, you know I'm right here,
I'm not losing you this time.

And I'm all in, nothing left to hide,
I'm falling harder than a landslide.
I spend a week away from you last night,
and now I'm calling, calling out your name.
Even if I lose the game, I'm all in,
I'm all in tonight, yeah I'm all in, I'm all in for life.

There's no taking back what we've got,
too strong, we've had each other's back for too long.
There's no breaking up this time,
and you know it's okay, I came to my senses,
letting go of my defenses,
there's no way I'm giving up this time.

And I'm all in, nothing left to hide,
I'm falling harder than a landslide.
I spend a week away from you last night,
and now I'm calling, calling out your name.
Even if I lose the game, I'm all in,
I'm all in tonight, yeah I'm all in, I'm all in for life.’



Once the song ended, Dean and Buffy stood in place, holding onto each other and lost in the moment. His eyes searched hers and she couldn’t for the life of her break his gaze, the way he watched her as if she was the most beautiful woman in the world, the only woman in the world. They kissed, softly and sweetly, and she let out a little sigh when his mouth left hers and she placed her hand over his heart, feeling it thump beneath her palm.

“How am I doing? Have I made up for it yet?” He asked in a whisper, his lips brushing over her cheeks and hair as he inhaled her scent.

“More than.” She whispered back and they stayed that way for a long time until she saw something out of the corner of her eye and looked up. Sure enough, another star shot across the sky and Dean looked up too.

“Did you see that?” She breathed with an awed smile and he nodded. He sat back down on the blanket and she leaned back against him as they watched the meteor shower together.

“Dean..” she began hesitantly. “There’s something I should tell you…”

“What is it princess?” He asked softly, tearing his gaze from the sky to look at her.

“The aspect of the demon kicked in before you left town,” she said and she felt him still.

“How much did you hear?” He asked.

“A lot, everything.” She winced and turned to meet his eyes. She saw fear and a little bit of worry in their depths and she reached a hand out to touch his cheek. “I know. How you feel about me. And I wanted to tell you that I feel the same.”

He stared at her in amazement, “It’s okay if you can’t say the words yet, I can wait to hear them.” She finished and she saw the emotions rush like a tide through his eyes as he gazed at her.

He fought for control as he frantically searched for something, anything to say but his brain was shut off. “In the spirit of confessions, I have one of my own.” He said finally and she began to pull away but he caught her wrist, holding her hand to his cheek in his. “The picnic thing wasn’t my idea.”

Buffy laughed and he smirked at her, “Sam’s?”

“Well I told him I wanted to do something special and he suggested a picnic, I remembered this place and thought, what better place to have one?” He explained with a nonchalant shrug. “Turns out we’re both liars,” He smirked at her and she laughed again.

“That’s okay,” She answered and settled back against him. “This has been the best night I’ve had so tell him thank you.”

“Good.” Dean smiled and wrapped his arms around her and they went back to watching the meteor shower with the stereo playing in the background. He turned to her after a while though and gazed into her eyes, "Buffy, you don't need telepathy to know how much I care about you and that I'm always thinking of you."

Buffy melted. She felt herself turning into a puddle of Buffy goo as she looked back at him, but simply nodded and he kissed her. His kiss held everything he felt but couldn't say and she clung to him as her mind went blissfully blank. This was definitely the best date she'd ever had, she thought.

The End

You have reached the end of "Always on my mind". This story is complete.

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