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Miss KF – If You’re Nasty!

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Summary: There is more than meets the eye to Miss Kitty Fantastico. As a life is threatened, will the Scoobs come to their senses?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Comedy > Other BtVS Characters(Recent Donor)LunaFR1534,0960161,31211 Jun 1012 Jun 10No

Maybe It’s Mad Kitty Disease?

Willow gasped as Miss Kitty Fantastico lunged for Buffy’s face with outstretched claws. The battle-hardened slayer moved quickly out of the way and Miss Kitty Fantastico landed instead on Giles’ couch – on her feet, like all cats do. The hissing began in earnest as the cat eyed both Buffy and Giles with a look of deep seated anger.

“Whoa! What is this – Mad Kitty Disease? Willow, what’s the deal with your cat?” Buffy demanded in a shocked tone.

“Are there any crop circles around? Maybe the cat went crazy just like the dogs in Signs,” Xander offered in a light tone as he looked at the cat in confusion.

“Oh! Well then we can just dump a glass of water on it, right honey?” Anya offered eagerly.

Xander gave her a quick kiss on the lips. “Excellent job, Ahn. Your pop culture skills are vastly improving.”

“Well it is true that my knowledge is limited but considering that our sex only lasted during the first half of that movie I was luckily able to view the alien fight part,” she said with a winning smile as she swung her fist in the air.

“Could we please get back onto the topic of why Willow and Tara’s feline seems to have an intense dislike of Buffy and I?” Giles asked dryly.

“Miss Kitty Fantastico!” Willow said in a tone that would make a mother proud. “You should be ashamed of yourself! What are you trying to do?”

The cat’s ears raised slowly from its flattened position as she drew her attention back to her mistresses. She lowered her head, laid a paw across her nose, and mewed a mournful tune.

“Oh, look! She’s sorry! See, she didn’t mean it, Buff!” Willow said in a pleading tone as she scooped up the apologetic cat.

“Didn’t mean it? Will, she tried to tear my face up!” Buffy exclaimed.

“Yes, that was most peculiar. Where did you say you obtained her?” Giles asked as he cleaned his glasses.

“Th-the Hu-humane Society,” Tara answered shakily with a frown. “They said she had a few anger-management problems with children but she’s always so swe-sweet with us.”

Willow glanced at Tara out of the corner of her eye. It pained her heart whenever she heard Tara stutter – she hoped that someday soon her girlfriend would feel more comfortable around the Scoobies.

A smile played along the edges of Giles’ lips. “Well Buffy can be rather immature at times,” Buffy tossed a glare towards him, “but I cannot see why she would confuse Buffy with a child.”

“Well, she is rather short,” Anya offered. “There are lots of kids her size!”

When Buffy’s glare was redirected towards Anya, Xander told her softly, “That’s what we call a not-helpful response, Ahn.”

“Maybe the cat is evil,” Buffy offered as she inspected Miss Kitty Fantastico; now safely locked in her cage.

“My cat isn’t evil!” Willow countered quickly. “Don’t even think about slaying her!” Tara looked very taken aback that cat-slayage could possibly be on the menu.

“You never know what could be evil, Will. I mean, my ex-roommate, my ex-boyfriend, Snyder,” Buffy shrugged with a thoughtful expression.

“May-maybe w-we should go back home, um, to the dorms,” suggested Tara. “It might be good to take Miss Kitty Fantastico home.”

“Yeah,” Willow agreed as she glanced at her friends. “That sounds good.”



Miss Kitty Fantastico paced frantically while Willow and Tara slept that night. This was no good, no good at all. The last thing she needed was for those two to interfere with her plans. It was glaringly obvious that her plans would need to proceed immediately – screw the preparation time. She needed to fix her problem.

Not to mention that she needed to see that Buffy Summers and Rupert Giles got what they deserved.



“What’s the matter babe? Why are you so tired?” Tara asked Willow in a concerned voice as she brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ears.

“I dunno,” Willow said with a yawn. “It’s really weird.”

“Yeah, I’ve been tired too all this past week,” Tara added as she flopped back onto the bed. “Maybe we’re just getting old.”

“Tara! We’re only eighteen,” Willow countered with a smile and a roll of her eyes.

“True, but we are overworked Wiccan college students,” Tara added with a grin.

“Or maybe we’re just getting sick. We did see everyone at Giles a week ago. Maybe someone has the flu?”

“Maybe,” Tara shrugged halfheartedly. Then she smiled coyly at Willow. “So if you’re tired, do you think you are too tired to…” she trailed off.

Willow’s eyes lit up in anticipation. “Oh no, not that tired,” she hurriedly edited her remark as a slow smile spread on her face.



Miss Kitty Fantastico sighed happily as she curled next to the warmth emanating from the heater. Her attempts each night to slowly siphon the magic out of the lesbian witches was working wonderfully. Ever since her transformation years ago she had lost all of her magic but now she was beginning to feel her old strength again. It buzzed through her body and rejuvenated her significantly.

Of course, she still needed to get her body back.

But no matter – that would happen soon enough. Once she was able to twist at least one of the witches to her side she could get them to perform the spell and then she would be free! She would no longer be Ms. Kitty Fantastico. No, after these long years she would finally return to her true self.

But first she needed to get that Buffy bitch out of her way before she spoiled her well-laid plans again. Glancing backs towards the sleeping women, Miss Kitty Fantastico then stared at the doorknob and willed it to move. Slowly it turned to the right and the door creaked open. Before too much light could spill into the room she ran out and made her way towards Buffy’s dorm room.



Willow kissed Tara good-bye the next morning and practically skipped all the way back to her dorm room. It was very early – seven in the morning – and she wanted to get back before Buffy noticed that she was gone. A lot of times Willow made up excuses about falling asleep in the library or crashing on Tara’s futon but she knew it was getting old. Still though, she couldn’t bring herself to tell Buffy just yet.

Silently as possible, Willow unlocked her door and crept into the room. Luckily, Buffy looked to be asleep and she breathed a sigh of relief. The slayer was laying on her stomach and her blond hair spilled across the pillow.

Willow frowned as her eyes realized something was wrong with the picture. Taking a step closer she squinted before gasping as she realized what exactly was wrong.

Buffy’s pink comforter had a trail of blood spreading across it.


To Be Continued…
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