Chapter 2: Heavenly Translation
Chapter 2: Heavenly Translation
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the OC's and the plot such as it is. BtVS and Angel belong to Joss. ‘NCIS’ belongs to Belisarius Productions, and CBS. True Blood belongs to Charlaine Harris and HBO, 'Doctor Who', 'Torchwood', and 'The Avengers' belong to the BBC. I own nothing am nothing and am not making a sou from this, in fact I'm not even here (imitates beige lounge chair) I just do it cause I'm slightly(?) demented, and have no real life at all!
Note: All of the characters from the classics belong to someone else who is still not me!
Huckleberry was cordially hated and dreaded by all the mothers of the town because he was idle, and lawless, and vulgar, and bad - and because all their children admired him so, and delighted in his forbidden society, and wished they dared to be like him.
Quote from The Adventures of Tom Sawyer Author: Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens)
(RECAP) "The World Mind does not care about the sex of the characters, being a machine it has no concept of sex. Those persons who have been filling those roles have been placed into stasis until, the problem is taken to its final solution. Your job is to find the World Mind, and somehow cure it of its obsession. You must NOT destroy it for it, also maintains this world's viability as a home for humanity. If it did not the world Heaven would revert to its natural state: barren rock, methane atmosphere, seas of liquid nitrogen, and a surface temperature of near absolute zero!"
"I will deliver you to the planet's surface in approximately two hours, you will be given the books you represent, and some other peripheral companion's at that time. For now, please do not wander about too much and get lost. Amy can I ask you to stay with them and act as their guide, oh and Amy don't you get lost...again."
While they were exploring the TARDIS the Doctor found Willow, and Abby.
"Miss Rosenberg," he started.
"Doctor, that is Ms Rosenberg." Willow said softly.
"Ms Rosenberg," he corrected, "there is something you should know...I don't really believe in Magic."
"But you've seen me work magic." Willow looked confused.
"Yes, I have, but I don't believe in magic, and I have postulated that that is why I will never be able to cast a single spell. You, however, DO believe in magic very strongly. That I postulate is because of two very important things" you come from a dimension where magic is very real, and secondly because you believe in it so strongly. The key thing is not the magic itself, but the belief, that makes it strong in you. Do you understand?"
Willow looked at him funny then said, " You mean if for some reason I stopped believing..."
The Doctor just nodded, and Willow got a thoughtful look on her face.
"Then I guess," she finally said, " I had better keep believing."
"Um...yes, of course that goes without saying," he said with a smile.
Several hours later the pack stood on the surface of the planet known as Heaven.
Emma scratched her head, "Alright then which one of you is the machine psychiatrist?"
Buffy smiled, " Vampire Slayer here!" she said raising her hand.
Willow said, "Witch," pointing to herself.
"Vampire...Living Vampire that is," said Pam.
"Cosmic Key, Linguist, and Apprentice Witch," Dawn smiled at her.
Abby looked her in the eye, squinted, and said, "Forensic Pathologist, and Apprentice Witch."
Moth said quietly, "Naval Criminal Investigative Service Special Agent, U. S. Government."
"General of the Anti-Demon Armies of Earth, ma'am," Dre bowed.
"Oh and last but not least, physicist, and proud Texan!" said Fred.
"I do not pretend to understand all of that, but now I shall introduce myself. Emma Peel, Mrs. Emma Peel, scientist, electronics engineer, business magnate, Duchess of Chichester, former secret agent, well amateur secret agent for the British government, martial artist, wife, mother, and grandmother, though from what young Amy has told me, I am really a clone of that person with her memories. Ah yes, and I currently inhabit a sixteen year old body!" Emma smiled slyly, then gave a girlish laugh!
"I guess that's why we were paired up Miss Emma, we are both scientists. Though now I seem to be your experiment!" Fred noticed for the first time that there appeared to be scars around both of her wrists. What she could not see was that her eyes were two different shades of blue, and her left ear was larger than the right. Nor could she see, at least while dressed, that her right leg appeared to have been amputated, and reattached just above the knee.
"Well each couple have been given directions as to where we are supposed to go." Buffy said, "I suppose the Baronesses tower lab will have the most space for group meetings, but we should go to our respective homes and get settled in before Dark since we don't know the dangers that may be lurking in the night."
"We appear to be living in the forest to the west, Buff," Dre nodded in that direction.
"The tower appears to be south of here," Emma said.
"We have a shack on the river near Buffy's forest!" said Dawn brightly, taking Moth's hand.
"Rose and I share a house in the town of Whitby to the south." Pat nodded to Rose, who reluctantly nodded back. She was beginning to find it difficult to resist the beautiful vampires seductive charms, and she knew that whatever her sexual orientation had been that she would eventually give in, especially if they were living together.
"We seem to have a house in the same town, or at least near it," Abby said looking at the detailed map the Doctor had given her. Willow took her Abby's hand, waved her wand, and the pair of them floated off in a pink bubble!
Well!" said Emma, "She could at least have offered us a lift."
An hour later Dre and Buffy arrived at their new temporary home. A crooked looking little shop painted red, and purple with yellow shingles at the edge of the forest nearest to town, A sign hanging out front announced, that it was a 'Millinery shop, new and used hats sold cheap'. They entered the shop and were not terribly surprised to be met by a large, brown, lop eared half-human hare dressed in a brown vest, and blue sports coat holding a watch.
"Your late!" said the rabbit in an angry tone, "Where have you been and why are YOU," pointing to Dre, "a woman all of a sudden." It said accusingly.
Thinking fast, Buffy said, "The Hatter drank a potion that said Drink me...please.." She remembered some of the details of the cartoon she had seen as a child. She knew that no such potion was in the cartoon, but magic potions WERE in it so...
"Potions, potions, probably one of the traps laid by the Queen of Hearts, or an experiment of the damned Baroness, ah no matter, and no helping it now." moaned the March Hare for that's who it was.
From a closed hat box, on a nearby table came a child-like voice, "Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle..."
Buffy/Alice opened the box.
"Now you've done it!" shouted the Hare.
Inside the box was a mouse, about three inches tall, dressed in a 1800's child's sailor suit. The creature had the face of a child, and smiled up at Buffy.
"That is the Dormouse, I had to shut him up in there because he ate ALL of the treacle pudding, and saved none for the customers," said the Hare reasonably.
"Ain't had no customers since the Hatter...er...Milliner... ruined the White Queen's very best crown by buttering it, back in '05." said the Dormouse.
Dre couldn't resist, she remembered the cartoon too, "But it WAS the very BEST butter!"
"Yes, yes," said the Hare, "well be that as it may, we have no pudding for supper now either."
The sky was full dark now, and an even darker form passed by the front of the shop.
The Hare cowered in fear, the Dormouse grabbed the box cover, and sealed itself inside.
The Hare, groaned then said in a quavery voice, "time for bed, spread the garlic flowers, hang the crosses, no time for supper."
Willow's magical bubble came down near the edge of the town of Whitby in front of an old farmhouse that appeared to have crashed down in the middle of the road. From the somewhat worse for wear front porch protruded a pair of skeletal legs partially covered by a tattered pair of red and white striped knee stockings.
"Hmm..." said Willow, "the Wicked Witch of the East I presume."
They entered the house and were met by a trio of creatures, a Scarecrow, a humanoid Lion, and a Tin Man carrying an axe.
"Dorothy you look different, taller, older, darker." said the scarecrow.
"Stronger, more confident," said the tin man.
"Lots scarier!" shivered the lion.
"And Glinda," said the scarecrow, "your hair...it's red!"
"Um...dyed it, trying a new look. Do you like it?" Willow said tentatively.
The three all agreed that they did like it.
"It's a good damned thing that you got back before dark." said the tin man seriously. "Scarecrow, close the window they will be out soon."
"They...who is they?" asked Abby/Dorothy.
"Him and his brides, of course" said the scarecrow as he closed the window.
The sky was dark, the sun was down. A small light colored bat flew into the now closed window. It then flew away.
"Whew," said the lion, "That was close!"
Then the bat flew out of the fireplace! Landing on the floor it transformed into a full grown blonde woman. She hissed an launched herself at Abby! Willow waved her wand almost without looking, and nothing happened.
"Ooops," she said waving her other hand, "Incedio," and the blonde burst into flames, turning her swiftly into ash.
"Made an ash of herself," Abby quipped cheerfully.
Arriving at the shack by the river dawn marveled that it was in better repair than she thought it would be. True the windows were mostly boarded up, but those that weren't had intact glass in them. The sheet tin nailed to the roof showed no holes, and the walls of the building had been patched haphazardly, but not unskillfully.
The door was partially open. Dawn picked up a large club-like branch that was lying on the ground. Moth opened the door quickly and jumped to the side.
A hearty deep throated bass laugh came from inside the cabin. "C'mon in y'all! the voice said.
Cautiously entering the cabin, the found a tall heavily muscled black man dressed in ragged check shirt, and cutoff jeans.
"Well don' that beat all! Dis past mornin' you'all was boys, an' now youse is pretty lil' girls. I do declare! D'ja y'all tick off that ol' voodoo woman down by Sluice Creek?"
"Um...yeah that's it! Danged ol' Voodoo woman anyway." Dawn groaned.
"Well don' y'all worry, it'll likely wear off in a while her spells all'as does. O'l Jim knows dat, yes he does!" said the black man.
Now y'alls got here too close to sundown so ya' best shut and lock da' door or the hoodoos from the Count's Castle will get ya'. Miss Watson knows where I is so I'll be stayin' here tonight, I kin sleep under the table. You all best get up to the loft, and get some sleep. Tom yer' Aunt says you best come home first thing tomorrow cuz' the fence needs whitewashing. There was a tapping at the boards covering the window. The black man looked frightened , but he looked sternly at Dawn, and Moth and said," Y'all gets up ta' da' loft where you be safe, I gots a good stout stake here if one of em' gets in. Go on now get."
The girls did as they were told, but before they did Dawn sharpened the club she had brought in to a fine point with her jackknife.
Author's Note I'm splitting this Chapter in two because not to would make it too long, for my taste. Also its 130 am, and I'm too lazy to stay up any longer...tonight at least.