I, Denae, hereby disclaim all rights to any quotes, characters, and/or television shows mentioned in the following blurb. (Takes a bow) Thank you.
A/N: Sorry, the disclaimer was just a bit of levity, because I find writing the same thing on every chapter I do simply boring.
Either way, here goes nothing…
"However light-hearted you try to be about it, the loss of youth, and everything that goes with it, is quite a trauma. "
He finally understood that strange look that had been on her face that night. As Reid sat up in his make shift bed on the plane, he felt the tension rise in his shoulders as he stared at JJ. Her gaze was falling away, not wanting to see the pain in his eyes, he knew that.
Then, she'd said the same words, in that same half-asking tone, that came out of his own mouth not too long ago with someone else. He couldn't really concentrate directly on that, partially because every once in a while, when he'd start to talk, another memory would come to mind or a tremor from the drugs even. His mind was still wandering, causing concern from some of his teammates.
Reid had already set his foot down, much to Morgan's amusement, that none of this was JJ's fault. He was the one he ran off on his own, leaving her to fend for herself in a pack of dogs.
His head was still swimming somewhat, but after almost an hour of arguing with Gideon, he convinced him to let him go to his own doctor when he got home. He hadn't told her that, though, hadn't told any of them a lot of things.
He still wasn't completely sure why he'd done that, whether because he was still just a little bit high and didn't want the team any more worried or protective than they already were or because in some weak moment he'd grabbed those two vials.
He had known then it was stupid, but now he wasn't so sure. He could already feel the tremors and the team's normally quiet voices reverberated in his ears
Especially JJ's statement, so similar to one he'd made that night in the hotel room while the rest of the team was looking for the rapist, "he's dead. You're here. You won."
Wasn't that just such an innocent response? How the hell had ever managed to comfort someone who felt like he did now with childish logic like that?
Right now, Reid didn't know how to answer it, but he could remember being in her position, not too long ago, so he followed the lead of his former co-worker, grabbing his glass and raising a toast, ignoring that this time it was water and not alcohol, "Here's to winning."
He realized in those moments, that that comment had been more to patronize him and help him than it was about her, and now he was doing the same with JJ.
The problem was Hankel did win. All three personalities may be dead in the strictest sense, but he wasn't sure right now how he was going to get a night's sleep without the memories.
And somewhere in the back of his mind, Tobias whispered, "It helps." Subconsciously he felt down in his pocket for the two vials. Breathing a small sigh of relief when he felt them.
Maybe he could just wean himself off of them.
As soon as he got off the plane, he called Elle, because maybe, with this, she was the only one who could understand.
"The shock of any trauma, I think changes your life. It's more acute in the beginning and after a little time you settle back to what you were. However it leaves an indelible mark on your psyche. "
A/N: As with every other story, it's my take on the situation and what Reid could have been thinking after Revelations. I probably would've included a bit of the conversation with Elle, but she's pretty much the only character from the show that I dislike so I don't think it would turn out well. That particular scene is probably the only of hers that I ever really liked. Sometimes, though, it's better to leave those things to the imagination.