Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

A bet on the hellmouth ends in suffering.

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Story

Summary: Xander loses a bet against impossible odds, this forces him into accepting Dawn's choice in costume. Dawn has a warped sense of humor.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Xander-CenteredMistofRainbowsFR181237,6052517790,50914 Jun 1011 Jul 10Yes

Chapter One

Warning, I own neither the Buffy verse nor Stargate. Do not own anything from DC, Hellsing, or any other characters that people might recognize.

Themes not suitable for children abound in this story, if you are under eighteen and still reading this do not come whining to me about it.

This story is my take on Chaosmancer’s challenge. However, I apologize in advance if I upset him/her by taking this story in a twisted direction. The story challenge required Dawn to be present before she would have normally been present, chaos magic and all that. I’m not complaining.



Xander’s jaw dropped as the last ball slid into place on the TV’s Lotto report. He glanced over at the ticket that rested on the table in front of the eleven-year-old mischief-maker otherwise known as Dawn Summers. His eyes slid back and forth a few times between the ticket numbers and the numbers on the screen. He couldn’t believe it, she had actually won, and not just a little bit of money either. He felt his face light up in glee for his friend’s little sister, at least until he realized that she had done the impossible and won the Halloween bet. He winced; a few days ago Dawn had finagled everyone into a bet where if she won the Lotto then she could pick everyone’s Halloween costume. Of course everyone had jumped at the chance to take advantage of poor little Dawn and agreed to the bet. Her sister had been particularly looking forward to a month free of chores. He couldn’t help but smirk as he noticed the gobsmacked expression on his friends' faces.

Joyce blinked; she hadn’t really been much for the idea of buying Dawn the ticket but had finally agreed if she agree to put some away for college if she won. Not to mention she had really been looking forward to having Dawn wash the car the next five times it needed it.

Dawn grinned, “So how soon can we turn the ticket in?”

Xander chuckled weakly, “So you’re buying the costumes yes?”

Dawn grinned, “Of course silly, I have great plans.”

Willow chuckled as she watched the look of horror cross Xander’s face. It was pretty obvious to everyone that Dawn had a crush on Xander and that she was planning some, at least as far as he would be concerned, horrible costume for him. She sighed, she wasn’t exactly sure what Dawn would pick out for her but she was hoping it wouldn’t be so bad.

Joyce frowned, it hadn’t quite sunk in but if the ticket was legit… she would have to call and make sure. “I’m going to go call on the ticket.”

Dawn grinned around the room at her sister’s friends, “I told you so. So much plotting to do.” She scurried up the stairs and back to her room.

Buffy sighed before breaking into a smile, “So how badly do you think Giles is going to flip?”

Xander grinned, “When he hears that he has to go as whatever his charge’s little sister wants?”

Willow grinned, “Probably a lot, we might have to buy him a new pair of glasses.”

Buffy grinned, “I’ll bring the camera.”

~~

Dawn grinned as she flipped through the journal that had a list of Halloween costumes in it. She felt a little bit bad about not telling her sister that she had found the strange journal tucked under her pillow a few nights ago. It had had the winning Lotto numbers as well as a list of companies to invest in. She wasn’t exactly sure where the journal had come from but she wasn’t going to stop using it now, not after the Lotto numbers had proven correct. She frowned as she looked over the various costume ideas sketched out in the margins of one of the pages. Now she just had to convince her “friends” to wear the various costumes. She wasn’t exactly sure why the journal said that she should only shop at Ethan’s, but as the people from school had said that it was a pretty cool place she wasn’t going to complain.”

~

Willow winced as she noticed the extremely sheer white almost lingerie costume that Dawn was handing her. “Ah Dawn, I don’t know.”

Dawn smiled, “It’s perfect. It’s even half off.”

Willow squeaked, “That’s because the tights that are supposed to go with the costume got ripped in shipment and were removed.”

Dawn grinned, “Hey, to borrow a line from my sister, Halloween is the come as you aren’t day, besides you promised.”

Willow blushed furiously, “So what are you sticking the rest of the group with?” She had thought it a bit weird at first when Dawn had asked her to take her shopping for everyone’s gift, at least until she had slipped into the adult section of the store and started collecting costumes for people. Her sister would have flipped. As it was Willow was trying desperately not to die of embarrassment at the idea of even showing off as much skin as her costume did to close friends, let alone around town.

Dawn grinned before she checked her journal. She reached up and snagged a female Wolverine costume off the shelf. “This should work for mom.”

Willow blinked at the tight costume for a minute before shaking her head, “How come she gets to be an X-girl with actual skin coverage?”

Dawn’s face scrunched up, “Because she’s mom. Besides, can you imagine her in anything like your costume? That‘s just icky.”

Willow chuckled, “So what about Giles?”

“I’m sort of thinking about Iron man.”

“You’re just doing that because it’s the most tech savvy costume you can find.”

Dawn grinned, “Of course.”

“He would be horrified if he knew just how much thought went into the costume.”

Dawn grinned, “Just wait until you see Xander’s costume.”

Willow wasn’t sure she felt comfortable with the sheer evilness of the gleam that lit up Dawn’s face at that statement. She was rewarded a few seconds later as Dawn snagged two Supergirl panty and bra sets off the rack. “You can’t be serious?”

“Oh no, these are for Buffy and me.” She smiled brightly as she reached up and grabbed a Supergirl thong off the rack, “You think it will fit Xander?”

Willow blinked and blushed scarlet as she mentally read the tiny tag by the Supergirl panties, “Lesbian Kryptonians.” She was just glad that Dawn hadn’t seen it. It was bad enough that she was picking out as risqué clothes as she was. “Ah Dawn, bet or no bet… I can’t see him wearing that.”

Dawn grinned, “Shouldn’t have made the bet then.”

Willow couldn’t help the amused grin that appeared on her face as she pictured the look of mortification that she knew would be on Xander’s face when he received the clothes. She frowned as she noticed Dawn pick up a leather jacket, “Didn’t know you were into leather Dawn.”

Dawn grinned, “This isn’t for me, it’s for a friend.” At least that’s what the journal said. Though how some Boston girl was going to be her friend, she didn’t know.

Willow glanced at the skirts that went with the Supergirl outfits, “Maybe we should grab a couple of these. It’s going to be pushing it getting out of the house dressed like our costumes anyways…”

Dawn frowned as she considered, “I guess the whole thing falls apart if mom doesn’t let us out of the house.”

Willow sighed in relief, “So can I…”

Dawn grinned, “Nope, though we do need to get you a white top hat and a wand.” She grinned as she walked over to the section of the store that had the accessories and searched for a hat and wand that suited her taste.

“So what are you getting Miss Calendar?”

“Don’t know, it…” She clamped her lips shut before she could tell Willow that it wasn’t in the journal. “Suggestions?”

Willow frowned, “Naughty teacher? Hello Nurse?”

Dawn grinned, “Now who’s corrupting who?”

Willow tried fighting the blush that was creeping over her face, “What about naughty vampire police girl? It would cause Giles some issues.”

Dawn grinned, “Oh that is good.” She giggled as she tossed the top hat and wand to Willow, “And the white witch lives again.”

Willow lost the battle against blushing as she took the various costumes over to the counter while Dawn collected the last parts for Miss Calendar’s outfit.


~

Buffy glared at the pair of panties in her hand before glaring at Willow, “Why? What the hell?”

Willow shrugged, “It could have been worse.” She secretly was rather happy that Dawn had kept all of the costumes hidden until an hour before they were supposed to take the kids trick or treating. She wasn’t exactly amused at her own costume but compared to Buffy’s it was almost decent. “Oh stop being a whiner, just think, you could have had Xander’s costume.” She smiled as she remembered his issues with keeping his “package” inside the thong and how much he complained about it, especially as she had been wearing her own costume when she had been helping him figure out how the bra and thong worked. Dawn had been a bit upset that her mother had vetoed her claim of needing to see him put it on to make sure he was wearing it.

Xander had turned red enough at her viewing that she didn’t even want to think about how bad things would have gone if Dawn had been present. He had been very happy when Miss Summers had told him to put his army fatigues on over the underwear. She figured he was still embarrassed and slightly annoyed over Buffy saving him from the school bully, he would never live down wearing the thong if anyone found out, though she was surprised that everyone was holding him to the stupid bet.

Buffy shuddered, she was just happy that explaining to Xander how the thong was worn had fallen to Willow and not herself. And from the look of red staining the girl’s cheeks she wasn’t going to ask for details, at least not until she got Willow alone. She frowned as she looked in the mirror, “Hey with the skirt and everything this isn’t actually that bad.”

Willow adjusted her own costume with a slight amount of annoyance. “Speak for yourself; I should have grabbed my ghost sheet.”

Buffy smiled, “Oh come on you look pretty. Besides Wills, just one night, it’s come as you aren’t.”

Willow sighed as her “friend” pulled her out into the living room.

Dawn was busy chuckling at Xander as he kept adjusting his pants, “Maybe next time you’ll know better than to bet against the amazing Dawn.”

Joyce smiled, she was just happy everyone was going as a group and that Xander was around to keep an eye on the girls. “Have a safe trip.”

~

Faith couldn’t help but smile as she glanced at the smiling face of her first watcher. The first thing she had done upon waking when the lady walked in was sweep her hand through her, or at least try, luckily she hadn’t hit her watcher all that hard because unlike what she had been expecting her watcher was rather solid not to mention understandably upset at the weird reaction. It had taken a bit of time staring at the mirror over the bathroom sink for her to realize that the image looking back at her wasn’t really her. The mirror sure as hell helped as it showed her, her sixteen-year-old self. Which considering that she was past the drinking age, at least in her head, made for a weird day. Still after learning from her watcher that she had received a strange leather jacket in the mail earlier, the very same jacket that Willow had recently stolen from her, and that it was Halloween, she knew what she had to do. She smiled as she headed out the door and down to a certain warehouse she knew to be filled with vampires. It had taken a bit of talking to convince her watcher that she just needed some air, she didn’t really like lying to her watcher but hell’s bells she was fairly sure she only had a limited amount of time to deal with a large issue.

~

Anne of the house of El frowned as she looked around the streets with distaste; they were filled with strange creatures, creatures that she had only seen in horror movies. She relaxed a touch as she noticed her sister in arms Dawn toss a dog like creature off a small girl dressed like a faerie princess before heading over. Anne frowned as she glanced around the section of the backwater world they found themselves in, “Where the hell are we?”

Dawn looked around, “I don’t know, perhaps we should try to find out.” She paused, “Give me a second, I think I hear someone calling my name.”

Willow smiled as she looked around Sunnydale, “Never thought the spell would work, and that I would be back here. Oh baby, I want.” She smiled as she watched a startling looking Buffy and Dawn flash into existence not five paces from where she’s standing. “I don’t suppose you know what’s going on?”

Dawn frowned, “No, idea though we were about to start putting things to rights when we heard you calling my name.”

Willow sighed in relief, “At least you picked something useful this time.”

“This time?”

Willow glanced around, “Yeah, this time.” She glanced at Buffy, “Can you get Dawn to safety? Try to avoid hurting any of the monsters they are children that have been turned into monsters by magic.”

Anne frowned, “She’s perfectly able to take care of herself, but perhaps that is the best policy if there are evil magicians around.” She grinned as she used her x-ray vision to get a better look under this witch’s outfit, not that there was much to look past. “Do you have a defensible location?”

Willow idly rambled off the street address of Buffy’s house. “Should be safe enough if you go there.”

Anne nodded, “You know how to stop this fell magic?”

Willow nodded, “I think so at least.”

Dawn glanced at her sister, “We’ll collect anyone we see along the way.”

Willow nodded, “I still haven’t seen Xander yet, or Giles for that matter.”

Dawn shrugged, “We don’t know anyone by those names but we’ll rescue anyone we can.”

~

Cordelia screamed as she ran from the pack of little demons chasing her. She wasn’t exactly sure where the hell she was going other than toward Buffy’s house, as she normally knew what to do in these types of situations. She wasn’t exactly expecting to get saved by a blur of camouflage colored fatigues but she wasn’t exactly going to be picky.

Alex of the house of El couldn’t help the grin on her face as she came to attention in front of the girl in a cat suit. “Reporting for duty.”

Cordelia frowned, there was something familiar about the figure but she wasn’t exactly sure what. Not that she was complaining though as she had just witnessed the girl drop half a dozen demons in less than two seconds. “Let’s go find some place to hold up until we can figure out what we’re doing.”

Alex nodded, she seemed to have some idea what was going on, at least more than she did. “Lead on my fair lady.”

~

Seras Victoria smiled as she finally found some real vampires to lay waste to, not that her master Alucard would consider these vampires as anything more than ghouls but at least they weren’t transformed children. She smiled with glee as she tossed one of the undead minions through a steel garage door, or at least tried. It dusted before going all the way through. She sighed, she wanted to know where the hell her master was as he wasn’t answering her calls. It annoyed the heck out of her when he did that, which was probably why when a particularly stupid undead jumped out at her she didn’t notice it until the undead was blasted by her companion. She glanced over at the flying knight with weapons that would make Walter weep with joy. He was particularly useful at blasting the minions to ashes. “Where to?”

Tony Stark shrugged, or at least tried, the power armor he was wearing didn’t exactly make that the easiest thing in the world. “No idea, my sensors are going crazy. There is too much interference to risk flying up to take a look. Not to mention that there is at least one other suit flying around. I keep getting strange readings here though.”

Seras sighed, “What I wouldn’t give to have Master here. I guess we keep hunting the demons until things go back to normal.”

~

Anne smiled as she pulled her sister onto the bed, “If we’re forced to kill time we might as well kill some time.”

Dawn giggled, she knew it probably wasn’t the best use of their time but hell it had been weeks since they had had vacation together and had gotten to do more than send a greeting over hyperspace. She smiled as she slipped out of her skirt. “You’ve been a very bad girl.”

Anne smiled and grinned as she removed her own skirt before tossing it to the floor, “Bring it.”

Dawn giggled as she jumped at her sister, “Will do.”

~

Willow glanced around the deserted shop. She remembered the last time she had been in the shop, though it was from her perspective several years ago. It had taken longer to find it than she had hoped. She glanced at the ominous bust of Janus sitting in the middle of the room. She glanced over as Ethan Rayne stepped out of the shadows, “Hello Ethan.”

Ethan blinked, “I was expecting someone else.”

“Ah yes, good old Ripper. He couldn’t make it so I thought I would come instead.”

Ethan frowned, “You aren’t supposed to, who are you?”

Willow smiled, “Someone much scarier than Ripper, now if you’ll excuse me.” She gestured toward the bust, “From the heart of the champion comes the clarion call, Janus ever the god of chaos release the unworthy from your hold.” Ethan tried to dodge in front of the bust but a negligent wave of the witch’s hand send him flying toward the wall. “Janus thy will be done, unleash your might.” Willow held an image of her transformed friends in her mind as the bust seemed to shimmer for a brief minute before sending out a number of strong pulses of magic.

He watched with annoyance as the bust crumbled to dust.

“You probably have about twenty minutes before I tell Ripper you’re here.” Willow grinned at the look of horror on his face. “You might want to run.”

~

Xander Harris frowned, finding himself in a mist-filled cavern wasn’t exactly where he wanted to be, especially one that had a rather large hyena lounging in it. Though the beautiful naked girl that was sprawled near the hyena was another matter, she could stay as long as she wanted. He was fairly sure that he was currently in a dream. Though he wasn’t exactly sure why. “Hello?”

Alex smiled, “finally he talks.”

The hyena seemed to chuckle, “It’s about damn time, I’ve been stuck here forever.”

Xander blinked, “You talk?”

“Obviously, though I’m not exactly real, but then again neither is the girl.”

Xander glanced at the girl, “Damn, so what do you want?”

“We want to make you an offer, power in exchange for freedom.”

Xander frowned, “I don’t understand.”

The girl smiled, “I don’t want to be stuck as a fragment in your head for eternity, thus we propose a trade.”

Xander glanced wearily at the two beings, “What type of trade?”

“One that’s on a timer, the spell is fading but if we all act together we can come out of it stronger and better than before. You could keep my strength.”

The hyena rose to its feet, “And my senses.”

The girl smiled, “A blending and mixture of all of us. To never be weak to never have to be saved by a girl again…”

Xander sighed, he didn’t want to admit it but the girl knew him, which shouldn’t be too surprising as she was in his head. “Fine. How does this meld work?”

The girl grinned as she stalked toward him, her eyes drifting over his now naked body, “The usual way.”

Xander gulped, “Okay.”


~

Buffy gasped for breath as her back hit the headboard with a crack. She couldn’t stop the shaking as she felt the memories wash over her, Anne of the house of El had been a bit twisted. She couldn’t help but glance at her naked eleven-year-old sister that was sprawled out at the foot of the bed happily sleeping. “Maybe more than a bit twisted.” She frowned as she realized that she still thought her sister was cute in a way that she shouldn’t. She felt the strange build up of energy in her eyes that signaled the use of Anne’s heat vision, “Oh hell.” She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths trying to calm her nerves.

~

Giles groaned as he sat up from where he had fallen only to find his head awash in knowledge about the infernal machines Willow loved to use. “I’m going to kill someone.”

Jenny Calendar sighed as she pulled herself to her feet, “I’ll help.”

Giles frowned for a few seconds as he glanced over at Jenny before he realized that her eyes were still red, “Your eyes haven’t changed back.”

Jenny sighed, “Damn, I was sort of hoping that this gnawing hunger wasn’t a thirst for blood.”

Giles blinked, “Oh hell.”

Jenny grinned as he fumbled for a stake, “Don’t bother, a stake wouldn’t really do much. I am however sort of hungry.”

~

Warren Mears screamed, one moment his other self was flying through the air as Iron Man the next he was hurtling toward the ground at what was fast approaching terminal velocity. He had barely enough time to consider that he should have listened to the various readouts from the suit pointing out that flying might be a bad idea. Luckily for the various residents of Sunnydale, though not Warren Mears, he smashed into an empty stretch of concrete. He made the various rats that got a free meal out of the deal very happy.

~

Faith sighed as she felt the strength drain out of her, still it had lasted long enough to do what needed to be done. Though she figured getting the hell out of dodge would probably be a good plan, just incase some of Kakistos’s minions had escaped the burning warehouse. It might not have been pretty or even fair but fuck fair. She wasn’t exactly sure why she hadn’t turned back into her younger self mentally when she lost her strength but she was somewhat glad she wasn’t fading away. Now, if she could just get to Sunnydale and warn everyone about the next several years, things might work out. Not to mention figure out who had sent her the jacket that started things off with a bang.

~

Joyce sighed as she flexed her hand and claws popped out, “Buffy’s going to freak.” She glanced around her room for a few minutes before deciding to just try to ignore her claws and the fact that she looked a good fifteen years younger than yesterday. “Ah well maybe she wont notice.”

~

Dawn came awake with a yawn; she glanced around her room and tried to ignore the strange though not unpleasant musky smell that seemed to cover her room. “I hope mom has pancakes.” She frowned as she considered tossing on clothes before deciding that she didn’t care.

Buffy blinked as a naked Dawn shaped blur sped past her and into the bathroom before she could. “Don’t use all of the hot water.”

Dawn frowned as she turned the water on, she thought about her race down the hall at insane speeds… “Oh shit, it wasn’t a dream.”

Buffy sighed as she remembered some of the things Anne had done to Dawn, “Lot’s and lots of therapy.”

~

Willow frowned as she glanced over at the cute girl that was gracing the entryway to her house, “Can I have you? I mean help you…” Bad Willow, get it under control, stupid teenage hormones.

Xander frowned, “You’ve got to help me, Willow. I’m a girl.”

She frowned, “Well so you are, but… oh my goddess Xander?”

Xander nodded her head, “Yeah.”

“Oh god, something must have gone wrong when I broke the statue.”

“Do you think Giles can fix it?”

“I don’t know, but it sounds like a Scooby meeting is in order. I‘ll call everyone and we can figure something out.”

Xander nodded weakly, “I don’t want to be stuck like this, not that there is anything wrong with girls… but damn it.”

Willow smiled as her eyes drifted over the cute girl standing in the entryway. She was happy that the girl had shoulder length hair rather than Xander’s short hair. It didn’t hurt that the girl looked to have a decent bust. “Don’t start panicking until we are sure we can’t fix things.” Willow couldn’t help the little voice that whispered, “Not sure I would “fix” this if I could.”

~
Next Chapter
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking