Disclaimer: Characters etc... not mine - they belong to JK Rowling and Joss Whedon.
‘So,’ the blonde said gesturing at the building that loomed in front of them, ‘this it then?’
‘Definitely magical,’ the redhead to her left said.
‘And we’re in Scotland,’ the younger brunette offered.
‘Also, fairly sure that fits the description of “castle”,’ offered the fourth of the group, the only man.
‘Guess we should go see if anyone’s in then,’ Buffy offered and with that they all made their way up the long road to the main doors.
Once inside the cavernous halls the quartet looked around in appreciation, Xander emitting a low whistle as he took in the sheer magnitude of the castle.
‘This place is amazing,’ Dawn breathed out, speaking for all of them.
At that point a man sallow faced man appeared from a corridor leading a small gaggle of school children, dressed in what looked like capes.
‘Um, not sure there are supposed to be any kids here yet,’ Buffy offered, looking confused.
‘Great idea for a uniform though when we do,’ Xander enthused with a grin, ‘really selling the superhero aspect.’
Three hits for one comment, almost a new record for him.
The man who had turned up stared at them. And then stared some more as though they were an interesting specimen under a microscope. Interesting being slimy and slightly disgusting, like a piece of unidentified detritus on the sole of his shoe that was.
‘Who are you and what are you doing here?’ he demanded harshly.
‘I’m going to go with lost’ Buffy muttered to herself.
Rolling his good eye, Xander held out his hand, ‘I’m Xander, and these are my friends, Willow, Buffy and Dawn.’
‘Professor Snape,’ the man said, then looked with disdain at the proffered hand before ignoring it. Xander shrugged his shoulders and took the offending limb away.
‘We’re looking for a magical castle,’ Dawn offered.
The eyes narrowed and the sallow man drew a thin piece of wood from his sleeve which he then levelled at the quartet.
‘Zambini, if you would be so kind as to fetch the head master whilst I keep an eye on our... guests,’ he said, disdain dripping from his voice.
‘Oh my God, is he actually threatening us with a stick?’ Dawn.
‘Yeah, ‘cos we’ve never done anything like that,’ Buffy pointed out.
‘You’re muggles,’ a blond boy sneered at them, pulling his own stick out and waving it in their direction.
‘Oi, look who you’re calling a mug blondie,’ Buffy said crossing her arms in front of her.
‘Really, that’s the best you can come up with?’ Xander demanded turning to her, ‘you used to be Queen of the pun, Master of the witty banter, Lady of the careless repartee...’
‘Did you just use the word repartee?’ Willow demanded, ‘I’m so proud of you.’
‘I can so totally use words that are right and make sense!’ he defended himself.
‘Tell that to Giles, he still thinks that you mangle the English language.’
‘I am a saint when it comes to, uh, things like vocabulary and elocutionness... that’s not a word is it.’
‘Meh,’ Buffy responded, ‘since when has that stopped any of us.’
‘Ahem,’ came a voice interrupting them, ‘if you don’t mind, I have a couple of questions I will be needing you to answer.’
The four stopped their bickering and turned to Snape, assessing his presence for a moment.
‘How did you muggles manage to breach the wards that protect the castle?’
‘Again with the muggles! It’s totally unfair that you get to insult us if we don’t even know what you’re calling us,’ Dawn pouted.
‘And besides why should we answer you?’ Buffy put in.
‘Because,’ said Snape with seeming patience, ‘I am the one who is pointing a wand at you.’
The four choked back laughter with varying degrees of success; Xander ending up literally choking for a second or two.
‘So. Not. Dodgy.’ Buffy tried saying under her breath, before looking at Xander and giving in to the giggles.
‘You guys use wands?! That’s so... cute,’ Dawn said.
‘Cute!?’ thundered Snape, ‘you think that someone with the power to turn you into an amphibian in their hand is cute?!’ he started to run through hexes in his head that he could get away with casting should Dumbledore ever find out.
‘Sir, we could stupefy them if you wanted,’ the blond kid offered in an offhand way, ‘we could do with practising on real life targets.’
‘So this is some kind of magic school then,’ Buffy asked, ‘in a magic castle.’
She was rewarded only with a withering look.
‘Well, who knew there was more than one magic castle in Scotland.’