Keeping Up AppearancesAuthor:
Cordelia/Snape, Ron/Hermione, UST of the Draco/Harry variety.Rating/Warnings:
Teen for language, warnings for random crackness and slashy undertones.Spoilers:
General spoilers for the AtS and up through Deathly Hallows, though I ignore the epilogue.Prompt:
Cordy/Snape snarkage for bumpkin_isWord Count:
594 (a bit too long, but rules are for squares)Beta:
I so totally own this show. Bow Down! *Doctor's Note:Patient exhibits delusions of grandeur and any claims of ownership are pure fantasy. No harm is meant. Seriously, it's better than her throwing rocks at people.*Real Disclaimer:
I make no money from this, and claim no ownership over the to any of the copyrighted material of "Buffy the VampireSlayer," "Angel the Series," or "Harry Potter." These works belong to their respective creators.Author's Notes:
Yes, the title is a reference to the British show of the same name.
The door to the staff room of Hogwarts slammed open. The teachers assembled for the meeting looked up as Draco strode in, his cheeks flushed in a manner indicating frustration, and perhaps a bit of embarrassment. Not that Harry had cataloged and memorized the rare yet myriad flushes that would cross Draco's face.
Harry dropped his gaze back down to his parchment, absently scribbling in an attempt to look busy. Draco stomped across the room and dropped into his customary seat by Harry. The scents of expensive soap, shampoo, and cologne, layered with the smells of various potions ingredients, surrounded Harry.
"Professor McGonagall, you must do something about them," Draco commanded. His words were clipped, his tone even, but there was no mistaking a command.
"Against whom am I to take action?" McGonagall asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Who do you think?" Draco sneered.
Harry's scribbling intensified; he used to hate Draco's sneer, but since the Battle of Hogwarts nearly ten years ago, that sneer had begun to affect him in other ways, including making him a babbling idiot. Evermore so once Harry'd left the Auror Office to become the Defense Against Dark Arts professor.
Moments later, Ron walked in through the open door. In some ways, the teaching staff at Hogwarts was a bit of a class reunion: Ron had become the flying instructor after leaving the Aurors Office with Harry. Luna Lovegood taught Care of Magical Creatures, Neville taught Herbology, Dean Thomas taught Muggle Studies, and Draco was the Potions Master.
Ron winced as he stared at Draco, taking in his annoyed expression.
"Caught 'em at it again?" he asked, his customary hostility tempered by sympathy.
Draco sneered again and crossed his arms; it was all the answer Ron required.
"Oh, sorry, Malfoy," he muttered, shuddering.
Draco deigned to nod in thanks.
"We've got to do something, Professor. We can't risk the students seeing... that," Ron said, face flushing.
"Can't risk the students seeing what, precisely?"
At the cool drawl, everyone's attention returned to the door. Snape stood there, eyebrow arched as he glowered at the room.
"Severus, perhaps you could... exercise some discretion," McGonagall said.
"Oh please," a voice interjected. The staff turned to see Hogwarts's newest resident, Cordelia Chase, seated regally on the arm of a couch.
"It's not like anyone here is a virgin," she muttered, rolling her eyes.
"Ms. Chase, that is not the point," McGonagall explained.
"Hey, just because Drakey doesn't have the guts to jump Potter's bones, doesn't mean Sev and I should go without," Cordeila said, shrugging. "Besides, he should learn to knock."
Draco's face flushed as he jumped to his feet. "It's my bloody classroom! And office!"
"Draco, please calm yourself," Snape said.
"No, I will not! There are some things I simply do not want to see! Again!"
"Oh, my God, calm down! This isn't the end of the world!" Cordelia yelled.
"Hey, it may as well be," Ron interjected.
"Stay out of this, Gingy," Cordelia snapped.
Neville gently raised his hand. "Um, can we get back to the meeting?"
Everyone jumped in shock; they turned to McGonagall. Once all eyes were on her, the room silent, she muttered the counter-charm, returning her voice to its normal volume.
"Thank you. Now, might we please continue this staff meeting?"
The attendees nodded. Cordelia stood to leave, though Snape remained still.
staff members only," McGonagall stressed.
"Come on Sev, let's go." As Cordelia passed through the wall, Snape following, Ron once again spoke.
"Y'know, never thought I'd miss the days when Snape was alive."
As Draco shifted nervously, his eyes darting over, Harry found he couldn't agree.