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Room Inspection

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Summary: Ever wonder about the childhoods of the Jedi and the Sith? Wonder no longer...

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Star Wars > Non-BtVS/AtS StoriesBarefootXOFR71567057815 Jul 105 Jul 10Yes
I do not own Star Wars. It belongs to George Lucas.


Room Inspection…


Eleven-year-old Qui-Gon Jinn sat on the edge of his bed, his face etched with worry. He was not allowed to move. Not unless Master Yoda asked a question.

“How explain you this, youngling?”

Qui-Gon sighed. “My pet gort, Master…”

“Told, have you been, not to pick up every pathetic life-form that crosses your path, hmmm?”

Qui-Gon nodded reluctantly. “Yes, Master Yoda…”

“Then why do this, do you?”

“I wanted to help it, Master.”

“But, need your help, did it?”


“Not an answer, ummm is, youngling…”

“I’m sorry, Master.”

Yoda nodded and let the subject drop. He continued his inspection. He picked up drawings… “Hmmm… What are these, I wonder?” The drawings were of Tahl, a fellow student, with lots of hearts and such around her.

Qui-Gon blushed scarlet. “Ummm…”

“Not an answer, ummm is, youngling… Said that already once, I have…”

“I really like Tahl, Master…”

“Hmmmm… Take care, you should, youngling. Have strong feelings, you may. But form attachments you should not. Danger there is in such a path.”

Qui-Gon nodded solemnly, knowing there was no arguing. “Yes, Master…”


Eight-year-old Juraden Primus sat on the edge of his bed, his face etched with worry. He was not allowed to move. Not unless Lord Sidious asked a question.

“And what, pray tell, is this, my young Apprentice…?” Sidious held up a meditation guide…

“Well Master, you see, I get so worked up during practices, that I feel the need of something to calm me down…”

Sidious glared. “You are supposed to get worked up, Juraden. I’m teaching you the art of being a Sith, not some Jedi sissy… You will stop these meditations at once…”

“Yes, Lord Sidious…”

Sidious moved on. “And what in the name of Marka Ragnos himself, is this?”

Juraden blushed red, if that were even possible given his red facial tattoos… After all, Sidious had found his Teddy Ewok… “Well Master, you see…”

“There is no excuse for this kind of behaviour. This is the sort of weakness a Jedi will exploit. If you keep this up you’ll wind out getting eviscerated by some Jedi padawan, someday Juraden. You mark my words. Is that what you want?”

“No Master…”

“Then shape up, boy. For the love of the Sith, I have never been so disturbed in my life. Now. You know what must be done with that?” Sidious pointed at the hated Teddy Ewok.

Juraden blanched, if that was possible… “But Master!!!”

“No buts, Juraden. You know what happens to contraband Teddy Ewoks.”

Juraden sighed and threw the Teddy Ewok in the fire. “Goodbye Kettch,” he muttered, silently hoping that Kettch would be reincarnated to torture all Ewok-hating people…

When Kettch was burned away, Sidious cackled… “Good…”

Juraden shook his head. “Will that be all, Master?”

Sidious nodded. “Yes. Tomorrow I will place you in the charge of a martial arts teacher. He is very knowledgable and may be of great use to you…”

“Thank you, Master…”

“Also, I have decided on a new name for you, my young Apprentice.”

“And what will that be, Master?”

“Darth Maul. It is a Sith phrase meaning Dark Monster.”

“Thank you, Master…”

Little did either know that Darth Maul was also the Bocce phrase for Grinning Idiot…


Oh dear... :p


The End

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