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Who Knew

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Summary: Ok, this isn't meant to be taken seriously at all... pure comedy inside this fic... religion is mocked... remember though not a seious fic... read it I think it's funny

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > GeneralCanadianPhoenixFR1342,904021,24329 Nov 0329 Nov 03Yes

Who Knew

Disclaimer: Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon own all the rights to the characters and locations in this story. I will make no money from this story.


You know the funny thing is that I knew from the start, I knew who she was from the start. I was depressed about Anya leaving then there she was, a beautiful woman who was paying attention to me. I didn’t care who she was, we were having a good time and the night seemed to go on forever. When I was with her the night seemed endless, not in a bad way the fun just kept coming and it was good.

I was back to my old self regaling her with my rapier like wit, her laughter was as beautiful as she was. Light and free you couldn’t help but add yours, even knowing who she was. I could feel myself falling in love with her, she was as smart as she was beautiful. We decided to go to the Bronze for dancing and a night cap. To my surprise I could dance like I always wanted to be able to, I felt free of my doubts and inhabitants so I let go.

It seemed like we danced for hours, then we went back to her place I wasn’t surprised when we went to Angel’s old mansion. It didn’t matter, like it didn’t matter who she was I knew what would happen here. It didn’t take a genius to figure out I was getting some, and WOW was it ever good. I thought Anya had brought the best in me out, but nope she did… I did things I didn’t realize a man could do. When we were finally done, when the sun was about to rise I went to snuggle but she was gone. I shouldn’t have been surprised… I knew who she was from the start.


It’s strange I could feel his purity from the start, I think that’s why we’re so enamored by him. Why so many of my children are drawn to him, it explains Anyaka’s obsession why she didn’t become a demon again when she left. His beautiful in a masculine way, both in form and spirit he makes even a demon believe in good.

I think I could fall in love with him. He amused and entertained me in ways I hadn’t been since before the fall. I would like to believe I hate all of them, but him… he’s above all the rest. Here he is in the worst spiritual place on earth, the dimensional gateway to the throne of hell itself. Yet he stays pure, pure in a way that most so called saints aren’t.

Inevitably we find our way to the bedroom, it’s the way it works I lead them there. This time it’s different though I want to go. Not only do I want to be there… I yearn for it. I want to see if he’ll be as good with his mouth as I think he is. To be honest though, I didn’t expect too much, after all I’ve been here on earth since… forever.

He surprised me so many times that night I should have known he had a few more up his sleeve. Usually I had to ‘enhance’ my lovers in more then one way, and even then most of the time I felt less then nothing. He did more with one touch then most men did with all my enhancements. He did things that spoke of promises of more to come, his kiss lit a fire that threatened to consume us both.

I could feel something deep inside me come alive, he saw me the real me and didn’t care. He saw me and still opened up to me, gave me everything and asked for nothing in return. For the first time in my very long existence I found myself liking a human. What exquisite pleasures we felt that night, beyond anything even in my experience.

I didn’t have to enhance anything, neither size nor stamina. He made me understand things that had always eluded me, he had seen me yet he still taught me. I didn’t want it to end, because once it did I would have to give him what he wanted and take what I no longer wanted. It’s my role you see, not exclusive to men you know. Women are guilty of it too, the wanting… needing… coveting.

My shape changed with every person I served, my true form was spirit without form. I liked this form though, I wanted to claim it and keep it. You see most people summon me in a familiar shape, not him though he just summoned me with his purity. I don’t know if it’s his influence that makes me feel these things, and for once I don’t question… I just feel.

The night had to end though, and I had to leave so he could make his choice. I saw him reaching for his drink… where he saw one I saw many. Power, wealth, respect, sexual prowess (that would be beating a dead horse…) there was a drink for every selfish urge.

To my surprise he took a drink even I hadn’t seen before, like him it was beauty given form, it glowed with every color in existence and more. I don’t know how to explain it at all, but when he drank it I didn’t need to take his soul, maybe it’s because his wants were for those he loves. Who knew a human could make a selfless wish?

So in return I gave him all the things that lesser men wanted, what he would need in this place. I gave him everything he didn’t ask for and left, strange who knew the Devil could fall in love?
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