Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

Awaken Sleeper...

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking

Summary: Xander Harris is full of it. Doom that is.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Smallville > Xander-CenteredCrazyDanFR181342,92273371161,01122 Jul 1010 Mar 14No

Lucky Chapter 13

A Smallville/BTVS crossover.....

Superman was created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster. Smallville was developed for television by Alfred Gough and Miles Millar. Doomsday was created by Dan Jurgens. Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the characters within the show were created by Joss Whedon. I do not own any of the characters within this story. It is a work of fan fiction and is not done for profit.

Lucky Chapter 13:
The Beanery...

“I like pie.” Xander said to Clark and Lex as he dug into his third slice of their current visit.

Lex had gotten turned around and ended back up in Smallville proper on his way back home. It was pure chance that he was at the Beanery.

“I noticed.” Lex said as he realized the man in front of him had eaten Cherry, Pumpkin and Key Lime in one sitting. “How are you not getting indigestion from this?”

“Cast Iron stomach.” Xander grinned as he patted his belly. “Though, not literally because I am in no way shape or form a robot.”

“That remains to be seen.” Lex said. “And considering what I've seen....” He trailed off.

“Wait... he knows?” Clark asked in alarm.

“Some things.” Xander assured him. “He hasn't seen anything yet though.” He grinned.

“Wait, there's more than the whole thing at the Iron Works?” Lex asked.

“There are a lot of people around here that have been affected by the meteors.” Clark said as he adjusted his glasses. “You included.”

“How do you know?” Lex asked.

“It's a talent.” Xander told him. “It's one of his. I on the other hand had to develop a sense for it.”

“So he's one of us then.” Lex said with a nod.

“Kinda.” Clark agreed. “It's been an odd time growing up with what I can do but my parents keep me right.”

“Well thank heaven for small favors huh?” Lex grinned. “My dad is either disappointed or proud and I can never tell which it's gonna be.”

“Sometimes smiling when he bailed you out of jail huh?” Xander grinned.

“The five prostitute sting operation was one of those mixed messages ones.” Lex agreed.

“Five?” Clark asked. “What sort of... you know what... I'd rather not know just yet.”

“Virgin ears and all that.” Xander smirked. “Still.. your hands had to have gotten tired.”

“Among other things.” Lex agreed.

“La la la la” Clark said as he covered his ears with his hands. “I can't hear you.”

“I think it's getting to be past his bed time.” Lex told Xander.

“You're probably right. We've got a farmers market in the morning too.” Xander said as he finished his coffee and pie.

“Farmer's market huh?” Lex asked. “Never been to one of those.”

“It's worth checking out when you have the time.” Clark told Lex. “If you're in to fresh foods and baked goods.”

“If I'm up.” Lex told them. “No promises though.” He said with a yawn. “The real challenge is going to be getting back to my mansion. I have absolutely no idea where I'm going when it is this dark out. After all, I tried getting back home and ended up here.”

“Ah. No GPS in the Mirthmobile.” Xander said with a nod. “I'll ride with you and head back to the Kent's place back on foot.”

“You're okay with that?” Lex asked.

“Eh. I don't sleep all that much.” Xander shrugged. “I'll be fine.”

“I'll make it home on my own.” Clark told them.

“You gonna be okay getting home?” Lex asked the teen.

“Don't worry about it.” Clark told him. “If you're that worried you can drop me off at home on the way back to your big honking mansion.”

“For that... you're walking.” Lex grinned.

“Heh.” Xander said with grin. “Nice. We're gonna have to get you a cell phone pretty soon.” He said to Clark.

“Whatever.” Clark said as he rolled his eyes.

“He has every reason to be concerned.” Lex interjected. “Since I've known you, you've been hit by a car, tossed into a river and you've been kidnapped and tied to a stake in a corn field.”

“When you put it like that, my life seems to be full of danger and excitement.” Clark grinned.

“You know you just jinxed yourself right?” Lex asked.

“Check please!” Clark called as the other two laughed.

On the way home....

“So what all can Clark do?” Lex asked as they drove down the road.

“It's no my place to tell.” Xander said. “I can't tell you even if I wanted to.”

“Really?” Lex asked. “Interesting.”

“A promise is a promise. I haven't told him about your super immune system.” Xander told him.

“I'm still getting that checked out.” Lex said with a sigh. “The lab says they screwed up the blood work the first time.”

“Meaning they're either incompetent or something is wonky with it right?” Xander grinned.

“Maybe.” Lex said carefully. “I still want to get those results back first.”

“Trust me, if it weren't for the baldness people would want to patent your white cells.” Xander told him. “Hell, they still might.”

“That... I didn't think of.” Lex admitted. “Bio-tech firm huh?”

“Just a new branch for your burgeoning empire. Not Luthorcorp... no... Lexcorp.” Xander said with as grand a gesture as he could manage in the tiny car.

“I like the name.” Lex said with a smile. “Vanity.”

“It isn't just a human trait but we all do tend to indulge in it at times.” Xander agreed. “All right. Take a turn up this road and drive for about ten minutes. We should be at your place a little after that.”

“Thanks.” Lex said. “I'll get the hang of it sooner or later but with minimal street lights and signs...”

“Believe me. I know.” Xander told him. “I damn near ended up using a compass the first week I was in town.”

A few minutes later the two men were pulling up to the gates of the Luthor Mansion.

“Have a good night Lex. If you can make it, we'll see you at the market in the morning.” Xander said to the other man.

“If I can find it.” Lex said with a grin. “Get back safe okay?”

“Not a problem.” Xander told him before heading off towards the Kent Farm in the near total blackness of a rural Kansas night.

“Strange guy.” Lex muttered before he headed inside his home.

Elsewhere in Smallville....

As Xander quickly made his way back to the Kent farm, a car on the other side of town crashed into a ditch causing the already irritated irradiated insects within said vehicle to take even more of their ire out on their 'owner'.

It just wasn't Greg Arkin's day.

Or night as the case may be.

The next morning....

“You look like...” Clark paused as he stared at Lex.

“Here, it's Italian Roast.” Xander said as he handed the Luthor heir a large coffee in a disposable cup.

“Thanks.” Lex grunted as he took a big swig of the beverage. “Needs more Italians.”

“So at least your sense of humor's awake.” Xander grinned. “Come on, I'll show you around and maybe we can dig up a Smallville equivalent of a breakfast burrito or something.”

“I'm surprised I survived the drive.” Lex told him. “This is way too early if you haven't been up all night.”

“You gonna be okay here today?” Clark asked Lex.

“I'll keep an eye on him. You go help your mom.” Xander assured Clark.

“Right.” Clark said just as Whitney Fordman walked up to the group.

“I need to talk to you.” Whitney said to Clark.

“What you have to say can be said in front of the two people that got me down last night.” Clark told the local Quarterback.

“We were going to get you down after the dance.” Whitney defended.

“You still strung up someone younger than you for the sake of a really stupid tradition.” Lex chipped in as he finished his coffee. “There any more?” He asked Xander.

“In a minute.” Xander said softly.

“I need that necklace back.” Whitney told Clark.

“Check Miller's field.” Clark said with a shrug. “We left it there.”

Lex raised a hairless eyebrow. “This is over that Lana girl isn't it?”

Xander rolled his eyes and gave Lex his coffee to shut him up.

Lex smirked and took a sip. “Jesus, are the grinds in here?” He said as he made a face.

“It's nothing but espresso. All of it.” Xander told him. “Come on, it'll either put some hair on your chest or give you heart palpitations.”

“You're all heart.” Lex said as he began to feel his pulse in his ears. “Jesus.”

“So can I have the rest back?” Xander asked.

“No wonder you don't sleep much.” Lex said as he handed the coffee cup back to him.

“The necklace is still in the field?” Whitney asked Clark.

Clark shrugged. “Probably. We left it there.”

“Crap.” Whitney sighed. “I guess I'm going to borrow a metal detector.”

“Have fun with that.” Xander grinned. “That's what you get for doing stupid stuff with the things people entrust you with.”

Whitney stared at the two older men and walked towards his rental car. He had to find it before Lana realized he'd lost the damn thing.

“Well that was different.” Lex said as he blinked behind his sunglasses. “Jesus. I swear I can see my pulse.”

“Never try his coffee.” Clark told Lex. “One time I did, I almost vibrated through a wall.”

“I honestly can't tell if you're kidding right now.” Lex said bemusedly.

“Good.” Clark said. “I'm gonna go help my folks.” He told the other two before heading off to do just that.

“So was he kidding?” Lex asked.

“Can't you tell?” Xander grinned.

“No. No I can't.” Lex told him. “So what is with Clark and this neighbor girl?”

“It's messy.” Xander told him. “Pretty girl though it's weird seeing a Senior dating a Freshman.”

“In a few years that kind of age difference doesn't matter.” Lex shrugged.

“True, but that's a few years from now. Now it's just kind of creepy.” Xander said. “I saw some age difference problems back home. They didn't end well. The older guy got way obsessive afterward until he got arrested.”

Lex nodded. “I can see where that might be a problem. I know the laws vary from state to state but I only go for women over the age of 18.”

“You and the crew from 'Girls Gone Wild'.” Xander grinned.

“Hey, where do you think they learned it from?” Lex snorted. “Now... breakfast. There is something here for me to eat that isn't made of corn right?”

“Probably.” Xander said before he sipped his coffee. “Ahh, good stuff.”

As the sun continued it's rise into the sky, Lex and Xander were off haggling prices on foodstuffs and miscellaneous brick-à-brac , the Kent Family actually did quite well selling their traditional fall items including Martha's muffins and her special pumpkin bread. It was a little early for the bread, but it was still a Smallville favorite.

Soon enough, the Farmer's Market came to a close and the Kents packed up their stuff with a little assistance from Lex and Xander.

Lex's energy reserves were starting to sag as the caffeine boost he'd been given was tapering off and exhaustion from so little sleep was making itself known.

“I feel... gritty.” Lex summed up as he leaned against his car.

“I'll drive you home again.” Xander told him. “You can sleep in your car on the way there.”

“Wow... it's like I have a chauffeur. Again.” Lex mused. “Deal.”

“Well let's roll out. We've got real work to do back home.” Jonathan Kent said as he closed the tailgate of the family truck.

“Meaning afternoon football on TV.” Martha told Lex.

“Cheering is hard work.” Jonathan defended. “Besides, chores are mostly done already.”

“Except for my part.” Xander added. “I've got a few things I need to do with the fences and my part at the stables later.”

“He's not a football fan.” Jonathan told Lex.

“Oh. One of those.” Lex said with a knowing nod. “Let me guess, swim team?” He asked Xander.

“He knows.” Clark whispered to Xander.

“I can see that.” Xander said with a bit of a grimace. “Fine. Lex, let's get you home and tucked in. The rest of us have more to do today.”

“Grape smuggler.” Lex said with a silly grin.

“Okay, now I know you're tired.” Xander said with a shake of his head. “We're going.”

And they went.
“Car.” Lex said half tiredly as Xander pulled to a stop on the side of the road.

“Car on fire.” Xander said as he pulled up behind the already parked Kents, Clark was outside of the truck and in action, getting the driver out of the vehicle before it exploded in a relatively impressive blast for a sedan.

“I'm awake.” Lex said as he opened his eyes to see Clark shielding the teen who'd strung him up in a cornfield the night before from the blast. “Am I awake?” Lex asked.

“It's complicated.” Xander sighed. “Let's get the kid to a hospital, explanations can wait until after you've signed the non-disclosure agreement.”

“Man, I'm too tired for paperwork.” Lex sighed. “What are the penalties?”

“It's a magical contract. You can't break it.” Xander told him.

“Oh. Well that's okay then.” Lex told him. “Just let me sign the damn thing. The kid's already saved my life once.”

“Seriously?” Xander asked.

“Considering everything I've seen in the past few days? Why the hell not?” Lex said. “It's not like there are demons and evil law firms out there or anything.”

Xander didn't say anything.

“Oh crap.” Lex muttered. “You'd better get me some more of your coffee. I am not drinking hospital swill.”

“Will do.” Xander told him as Jonathan Kent glared at them as he helped Clark lay Whitney down as Martha called 911. “Hell... we might have to have that thing signed before the Sheriff gets here. I will be right back.” Xander said as he got out of the AMC Pacer.

“Huh.” Lex said as Xander disappeared in a blur. “Didn't know he was fast too.”

“And I'm back.” Xander said a second later from outside the passenger side of the car. “Here.” He said as he handed Lex a rolled up parchment and a knife.

“In blood huh?” Lex asked as he attempted to read the latin. “I'm a little rusty.”

“The knife isn't.” Xander told him. “Willingly shed blood to seal the oath. Then you can know what the hell is going on with Clark and by extension, what I really am as well.”

“So you're not just a superfast powerhouse?” Lex asked.

“I'm... more than that. It's... really complicated.” Xander told him.

“So essentially all signers of this contract swear a blood oath to not willingly or under duress reveal the truth of Clark Kent's abilities or origin.” Lex said as he picked up the gist of the contract.

“Pretty much. The magic of the contract will prevent you from blurting it out to those that don't already know it or act in a manner that would reveal things about him.” Xander said.

“Fine.” Lex sighed. “So do I slash my palm or what?”

“A few drops will do it.” Xander told him.

“So the knife was just for show then?” Lex asked as Xander produced a lancing device from his pocket, one that was normally used for diabetics to test their blood sugar.

“Yep.” Xander told him as Lex easily used the lancing device to prick his finger to sign the document.

A moment later the parchment glowed and the contract was enacted once again.

“Huh.” Lex said. “I don't feel any different.”

“Clark's an alien, and so am I” Xander told him as his eyes shifted to his other form's.

“Okay. Now I am awake.” Lex said as adrenaline flooded his system. Whatever Xander had just done had really creeped him the hell out.

“Yeah. That tends to happen. It's even worse when I transform completely.” Xander told him. “Get it together. The Sheriff is almost here.”

“Just don't do that eye thing anytime soon.” Lex said as he tried to get his hands to stop shaking. “And what do you mean transform completely?”

“Later.” Xander told him as he took the rolled up parchment and handed it to Jonathan.

“Right.” Lex said as he saw the Sheriff's car and an ambulance coming down the road. “You know... giving statements to law enforcement officials is getting kind of old.”

“Believe me, I know.” Xander sighed.

Monday.... at the Smallville Torch....

“It looks like he was attacked, but we don't know by who.” Clark told Chloe who was trying to determine what she could from the 'crime scene' photos she'd hacked from the Sheriff's office.

“I see.” Chloe said as she found a reference to an odd substance that looked a lot like a spiderweb inside of Whitney's rental car. “Hmm.” She said mostly to herself.

“What is it?” Clark asked.

“It's probably women's intuition. Or gas.” Pete offered.

Chloe just looked at Pete.

“Went too far. Right.” Pete said with a nod. “I'll be going now.”

Chloe just kept staring as the teen backed out of the room.

“Would it bother you if I said that was kinda hot?” Clark asked her.

“No. No it would not. Now let me work.” Chloe told him with a smirk as she went back to her computer.

Clark grinned as he watched her do her thing.

She was freakishly good at gathering information after all.

Luthorcorp Fertilizer Plant #3...

“What the hell is that thing?” Lionel Luthor demanded as he stared at the large tower that was an unusual grey color that seemed to absorb all light around it. The top of the tower had some sort of propeller on the top of it.

“That... is currently powering half the plant.” Lex told his father. “It was installed as a test. I found a way to stupidly cut our operating costs at a cheap ass rate since I know the inventor and patent holder. The agreement is conditional that I continue to run this plant.”

“Who the hell built this and installed it without my knowing?” Lionel demanded.

“That... is a secret.” Lex smirked. “The other one is being installed later in the week.”

“Exactly how much power does this thing generate?” Lionel asked as the upper portion began to turn a few degrees to the left.

“When it's sunny, close to 100 Megawatts an hour.” Lex told him.

“Is this really patented?” Lionel demanded.

“Completely.” Lex grinned. “Down to the design the internal sensors that dictate the movement of the wind turbine.”

“I fail to see how a wind turbine can generate that much power.” Lionel said with a scoff. “It's not feasible.”

“It's also a solar tower that also converts ambient infrared radiation into electricity as well. The warmer it gets, the more power it produces.” Lex smirked.

“How?” Lionel demanded.

“It's patented.” Lex told him. “Let's face it Dad. I did good.”

“Yet you still manage to butcher the English Language.” Lionel sighed.

Later.... at the Kent Farm

“Hmm.. tribesmen acquiring some traits from insects through rituals.” Xander said as he reviewed the research that Chloe had pulled out of the internet. “Well in my experience, strange and somewhat vast that it may be, people tend to go for the the bigger creatures for totems. Bats, wolves and the like. Still. Insects are a possibility. You got any avid aphid collectors in town?”

“Well we do have a few bug guys. Biggest one that comes to mind is Greg.” Chloe said as she ran through a mental list of who had what hobbies. “At least in school.”

“For all you know this could be someone outside of your social circles.” Xander reminded Chloe and Clark.

“Maybe but I don't think it is.” Chloe said. “You guys have told me that there are people in town that are... affected by the meteor rocks right? Exotic radiation and all that.”

“Greg liked to collect some of the area where he caught the bugs to keep with them in their terrariums. We used to hang out in a treehouse his dad made for us by the old iron works.” Clark said. “I used to get sick up there.”

“So that is where you get your fear of heights!” Chloe said in realization.

“It wasn't structurally sound.” Clark defended.

“That whole area was loaded with meteor rocks until I bought the land.” Xander said as he tapped his chin in thought. “That could have put a mental block of sorts in you Clark. You associate heights with the feeling of meteorite exposure.”

“It's like watching a mix of Sherlock Holmes mixed with Scooby Doo.” Lex whispered to Jonathan and Martha as they watched the two teens discuss theories with Xander.

“That's about right.” Jonathan admitted.

“You two should probably give this Greg guy a visit.” Xander advised Clark and Chloe. “See how he's doing, see if anything sticks out. If he's developed antennae or an intense desire to kill people he wants to mate with, you've got your guy.”

“What do we do if he is... bugging out?” Clark asked with a wince as he realized what he said.

“Either try to reason with him, or squish him. Or call me to squish him. I'm not picky. Confirm first, confront only as a last resort.” Xander told them as he handed Clark a cell phone. “I'm on speed dial #2. Your folks are on #1.”

“Thanks.” Clark said. “Wait, couldn't someone trace where I am by cell phone towers or something?”

“He's got a point.” Chloe said with a nod.

“So keep it off till you need it. I'll work on something a little more secure later.” Xander told him with a shrug.

“So what if we're right about a bug guy?” Clark asked.

“I'll build a big bug zapper or something.” Xander told them. “If you can't deal with him yourself of course.”

“Oh.” Clark said.

“I'm here to help, not fix everything.” Xander told him. “You need to grow into who you're supposed to be.”

“Which is what?” Clark asked.

“Hell if I know. Someone your parents can be proud of?” Xander asked.

“Ooh...” Lex said from off to the side. “Nice.”

“So how did you father take that tower of Xander's?” Jonathan asked Lex.

“Well he's pissed because my actions have saved the plant a boatload of money. He was going to start having me be the bad guy by making job cuts. Now... he knows if that I leave, the money saving does too.”

“So the plant is yours to play with.” Martha summed up.

“More or less. My Dad wants me to have some advisers but I tossed that out the window. I'm also considering moving out of the Mansion entirely. It's just a matter of finding the right place. I know Xander is getting the old Iron Works. I might rent a room there or something.” Lex said.

“Well that's better than him sleeping in the barn. I'm just glad he wasn't staying at the stables. He still unsettles some of the horses.” Jonathan said.

“Horses don't like him?” Lex asked.

“Most animals don't.” Martha admitted before pausing. “You know about Clark, but what all do you know about Xander?”

“He's strong and hard to hurt. Plus there is that weird eye thing he does that scares the shit out of me.” Lex admitted. “He said something about changing.”

“The eyes are just part of it. While like Clark in looking human, Xander is capable of changing into another form. A big one.” Jonathan said.

“I was engineered.” Xander said from the kitchen table. “Made to be a weapon of sorts. Do you remember after you got out of the hospital, seeing a boy at your home? One that you didn't recognize?”

“Wait... that was you?” Lex asked as he thought back.

“Sort of. It's complicated.” Xander told him before turning to Clark and Chloe. “Go visit Greg's house. Call if you need to. Lex and I need to have a bit of a show and tell.”

“Will do.” Clark said as he pushed up his glasses. “Just don't destroy anything.”

“Right.” Xander grinned before turning to Martha. “You still have a rump roast in the chest freezer right?”

“You're buying a new one.” Martha told him. “Go change before you... change. I'm not sewing up your clothes again.”

“And on that note, we're going.” Chloe said. “Xander still gives me nightmares sometimes. No offense.”

“None taken.” Xander said with a nod.

A moment later Chloe and Clark were gone as Clark sped them off to their destination.

“I don't think I'll ever get used to that.” Lex said quietly.

“At least he closes the door on the way out. It took me a while to get the hang of that without breaking anything.” Xander admitted. I'll be back after I switch outfits. Martha's right. I don't need to shred anything else right now.”

“How bad is this?” Lex asked the Kents as Xander left the house to get into his 'working' clothes.

“Strange and terrifying.” Jonathan told him. “I'm glad that he's mostly on our side.”

“Mostly?” Lex asked.

“Deep down, he can't completely fight his nature. He was made to ravage and destroy. He holds it in check really well, but he has to release it sometimes. Mostly on cattle.” Jonathan told him.

“So the roast is for him?” Lex asked. “Food?”

“Exactly.” Martha nodded “It should mostly tide him over for a short change.”

“I'm not going to like this am I?” Lex sighed.

“Probably not.” Jonathan said.

Greg Arkin's House....

“Houston we have a problem.” Chloe said as they entered the house. The door had been ajar and it was really warm inside. The inside of the house was covered in webbing and looked like a cross between a spider's nest and a nightmare.

“I've got a bad feeling about this.” Clark said as he looked around.

“You and me both Chewie.” Chloe said as she stuck close to her friend. “You have point.”

“Huh?” Clark asked.

“You take the front mister walking tank.” Chloe told him. “I'm just the brains of this operation.”

Clark held back a comment but nodded. The two teens headed upstairs and played follow the smell.

They found Greg hunched over his mother, feeding.

“Okay.” Clark said quietly. “This is bad.”

Greg looked up before leaping at Clark and bouncing off the teen.

Greg blinked at Clark before hissing loudly and leaping through the bedroom window as a means of escape.

“Well. Now what?” Chloe asked once the adrenaline started to fade from her system.

“Either we get him to come to his senses or we get Xander to build that Bug Zapper.” Clark said as he turned on his cell phone. “Two speedsters can track him better than one.”

“Reason with him? He ate his mother!” Chloe half screamed. “This goes way beyond regular mommy issues.”

“He's got strange new powers and instincts.” Clark said as he wished his cell phone would boot up faster. “What do insects do?”

“They're a lot like teenagers.” Chloe said. “They mostly just feed and mate.”

Both Chloe and Clark's eyes widened. “Uh oh.” They said together.

“Call Xander. Greg might be going after Lana.” Chloe told Clark.

“On it.” Clark agreed as he hit #2 on his speed dial. Now he had a really bad feeling about this.


AN: Aside from my 'flipping channels' segments, I intend to add to my stories based on greatest amount of time since it's last update. Except for 'repossessed.' That one is still on hiatus till my muse gets me back to it.

Had a strange thought of a Doctor Who/Highlander cross with the Immortals being a defective byproduct of the genetic looms the Time Lords use to create children. Instead of regenerating like normal Time Lords, they have the Quickening instead.

Both seem to be equally destructive at times. instead of traveling through time, they live through it all.

The End?

You have reached the end of "Awaken Sleeper..." – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 10 Mar 14.

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking