Not mine! Buffy belongs to Joss Whedon. The Discworld and its inhabitants belong to Sir Terry Pratchett.
Buffy wrinkled her nose.
“So… stealing is legal as long as you’re in the guild?” she asked in confusion. “And people here prefer it that way?”
“Yep,” Sergeant Angua confirmed. Seeing the look on the technically-still-prisoner’s face, she added, “It works pretty well. There’s rules about how often they can rob you, and the thief or thieves have to leave a receipt. Or you can just pay a fee to the Guild and not worry about being robbed for a certain time period. Lord Vetinari believes that if we have to have crime, it might as well be organized.”
Buffy thought it sounded workable except for one teeny, tiny little flaw.
“But what about the thieves who aren’t in the guild? Freelancers?”
Angua shook her head.
“The Guild has a bounty on unaccredited thieves caught in the city, so you really don’t have to worry about non-Guild thieves. There aren’t any repeat offenders for that kind of offense.”
Buffy digested the idea. She’d been in the Watch House cells overnight, and Angua had come on shift in the morning. At first, she’d come down just to check on the prisoners. Buffy was pretty sure that by ‘check on the prisoners’ she really meant ‘make sure that Lance Constable Sally hasn’t killed those two singing drunks’. But then Angua had taken an interest in the only other occupant of the cells.
Captain Carrot had been happy to bring the two of them breakfast. Buffy hadn’t missed the looks between the two Watchpersons. Nor had she missed anything else, but she wasn’t sure if it was ok to bring up certain topics in polite company in this dimension. But now that it was just her and Angua left- Carrot having marched the two from the next cell off into the very bright daylight, which had finally put an end to the song - she had a few questions.
Checking to make sure there was no one else around, she lowered her voice.
“So, I don’t want to be rude, cause definitely not from this world, but is it normal around here to have vampires around humans?”
Angua looked startled, but recovered well.
“Sally’s a black ribboner,” she said a little stiffly. “Doesn’t do human blood anymore.”
Buffy sat back to absorb that concept. Vampires that could voluntarily give up human blood? She was still thinking on it when she realized that Angua was still looking at her with a touch of frost in her expression and a little more wolf showing than had been up until now.
Buffy grinned apologetically.
“Sorry. Like I said, not from here. Where I come from the whole vampire thing is a little… different.”
“Different in that vampires have no souls and are pretty much straight up evil, with very few exceptions. They don’t choose to give up human blood, even though in theory they could.”
Angua thawed slightly, but was still not quite as friendly as before.
“What about werewolves?” she asked. “And dwarves?”
Buffy wasn’t entirely sure why dwarves would be classed with vampires and werewolves, but she figured that was another one for her ever growing list of questions to ask later.
“I don’t think we have the same dwarves,” Buffy said. “Yours are a whole other race, right? Ours are just a rare kind of human. I don’t think they’re particularly good at mining, either. Werewolves are even rarer, and most of them keep quiet about it. There’s a few that cause problems, mostly cause they don’t or won’t take precautions at full moon, but most of them just live normal lives.”
Now it was Angua’s turn to be startled
“So there are no werewolf clans? No running?”
“I’d have to ask Oz, but I don’t think so.”
“Who is Oz?”
“He’s a friend of mine who’s a werewolf,” Buffy said. “He actually dated my best friend for a while, but it didn’t work out. They’re both seeing other people now, but we’re all still friends.”
Angua chewed her lip thoughtfully.
“I think I’d like to see your world,” she said. “It sounds like a place I might enjoy.”
“Likewise,” Buffy replied. “Who knows, maybe I could retire here.”