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Mothers and Father

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This story is No. 5 in the series "Shame And Tears Series". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: “You guys want me to be the father of your baby?” I sound like a broken record, I know, but I can’t seem to wrap my head around it. **Femslash** A Shame and Tears Series companion fic written for Twisted Shorts

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Willow-Centered > Pairing: Sam Carter(Past Donor)LaneyFR1511,021052,93612 Aug 1012 Aug 10Yes
Warnings: This fic revolves around two women in a relationship (Sam Carter and Willow Rosenberg).
Timeline: AU from Season 6 onwards for both shows. This takes place between Ever & After and Family & Friends.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Buffy and Angel people belong to Joss and Mutant Enemy. The Stargate people belong to Gekko Productions, Double Secret Productions, MGM/UA, Showtime/Viacom.. a hell of a lot of people, if you ask me!
Authors Note:I've had this idea for some time now but was never able to write anything worth posting until this came to me today. This won't make sense unless you've read the series



She’s kidding...

Right?

I stare at her, waiting for the grin to break across her face and the laughter to start, but her almost fearful expression doesn’t change. I know Willow. Sometimes, it feels as though I know her more than I know myself and…

No, she’s not kidding.

“Okay…” I begin, trying frantically to wrap my mind around what she – and Sam – are asking of me. “You, ah…” I can’t say the words. I’m not sure why, but I can’t.

Willow, bless her, has no trouble whatsoever. “We want you to be the father of our baby.” Even though she’s already asked this she’s still a bundle of nerves. She’s wringing her hands so much that I’m getting a little worried she’ll break something if she’s not careful.

Can’t have the woman wanting to carry my child with broken hands, now can we?

And they were not words I ever thought I’d think about Willow.

“We know it’s a lot to take in,” Sam says, her expression more gentle than I’ve ever seen before. “And we don’t expect you to make a decision now.”

“But, you know, if you want to make a decision now that would be okay too,” Willow amends eagerly. She’s nervous, scared, and desperate for an answer.

“You guys want me to be the father of your baby?” I sound like a broken record, I know, but I can’t seem to wrap my head around it.

“Come on, Xan,” she says, reaching across the table to take my hand. “Who else would I want to father my child?”

“I don’t know…” I flail, trying to think of someone. Actually, Giles is the first person to come to mind, but there’s no way in hell I’m saying that out loud. The scary visual that goes along with it is just not worth it. “What about one of Sam’s friends? Doctor Jackson, Teal'c Colonel O’Neill… Someone who has actually gone to college?”

OW!

“Xander!”

“What?” I rub my sore arm and shoot her a glare. “Come on, Will, there are probably a million candidates out there who would be better donors than me.” Better fathers.

Because they’re not just asking me to be a donor. In fact, I’m the only person who has used the world ‘donor’. No, Willow is asking me to be a father. How do I know this? Like I said, I know Willow better than I know myself.

“Not for me there isn’t,” Willow says.

“Willow, you know I’m not really father material.” I’m not even sure I’ve ever seen a real father. A good one, at least. None of us have, not really. Well, maybe except Sam. Though, Will would know that better than I would.

Willow shrugs. "I’m not really mother material and neither is Sam, but we’re going to give it a try anyway. I mean, I’m a witch who can make the bad guys run by just entering the room...”

“And I’m the demon magnet they run to.”

She smiles, but it fades when she sees the look on my face.

I sigh. It’s not that I don’t want to be a father, I just don’t want to be my father. Although, it’s not like it’s ever going to come to that. Willow wants me involved, but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t entail me moving in with the three of them. Will knows I won’t ever leave Sunnydale.

I guess I’ll be a part-time dad, which means less chance of me screwing it up.

“I just…Are you sure you want me? Seriously. I’m…” No one special, I want to say, but I can’t. Really I can’t. Willow would kill me.

“You’re what, Xan?” Will asks, her tone gentle. “Not smart enough? Strong enough? Rich enough?”

Pretty much, yeah.

“Xander, no one else even comes close to you,” she tells me. “No one has the power you do.”

“I don’t have power, Will.”

“When it comes to me… Yeah, you do.” There’s a look in her eyes that I don’t want to see. A pain that I haven’t see for years, that I never want to see again. “It doesn’t matter what I do, you’ll always love me and I’ll always love you. No matter who I’m with, Xan, or who I am that will never change. I want our child to have that too.”

“I would love them anyway,” I tell her.

“I know but…” She hesitates, searching for words. “What if this baby is like me? What if it inherits my power and loses control like I did?”

“Then we’ll do what we always do. We’ll stop it.”

“And what if it’s thirty or forty and we’re both dead? Who will stop it? Who’s going to stand on a cliff and save the world?”

I don’t know what to say.

“If the baby’s both you and me, then…then it has a better chance: my magic and your heart. It might be less likely to lose control like I did if you're a part of it.” She’s wringing her hands once again. “It’s not the only reason. I don’t want you to think that it is. It’s one of the reasons, one of many.”

I stare at her, still at a complete loss for words.

“If you decide against it,” Willow says, her tone tinged with defeat. “I won’t be angry and we’ll, um, think about other options.”

Other fathers.

The thought pulls me up short and I frown in confusion. Not two minutes ago I was questioning Willow’s judgement and now, at the thought of them choosing someone else, something insides me rebels. I shake my head and Will’s face becomes a picture of devastation.

I can’t help it, I smile. Willow’s always one for thinking the worst. “Okay, I'll do it.”

The End

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