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Well, she sneaks around the world

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Summary: Xander, having never yet failed to find a slayer, may have met his match. Or, perhaps, found her...

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Miscellaneous > Surprise CrossoverjoshlamontFR721,1741347,77312 Aug 101 Jan 11Yes

Seriously, he's just that good

Happy New Year!

As always, nothing owned.

There was a knock on the door.

“Yes, come on,” Giles said, not bothering to look up. He heard a click and the sound of soft boot steps. It was a measure of how much time he’d spent around slayers that he knew they were boots.

“Mr. Giles?”

“Yes?” He looked up. “Ah, I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t know you?”

“I’m one of the new slayers.”

“Ah, yes, well-” he gestured in front of him. “Have a seat. “ He looked down at the paper he’d been working on and made a few corrections. The scrape of wood let him know that she’d pulled out a seat. “What can I do for you, Ms…?”

“I’ve stolen the sun’s light.”

“Beg pardon?” Giles started, looking up. The girl was dressed in an overly-bright red trench coat, something he wasn’t expecting; most of the slayers tended to be girls of fashion.

“I said, I’ve stolen the sun’s light,” she said, calmly holding her hat.

Giles glanced outside. “It still seems to be there.”

The girl smiled. “Oh, I only got back five minutes ago. The earth should run out in about three more.”

“I see.” Giles steepled his finger. “And why, may I ask, if you have done such a thing, did you do it?”

She held out a vial. Despite being painted black, the inside seemed to glow with an almost painful intensity. “It was an interesting challenge. And it was only a minute’s word. I thought it might be useful at night.”

“For vampires?” Giles mused, sitting back. “A minute’s worth? Rather one-shot, don’t you think?”

“I don’t think you understand.” The girl flashed him a fierce grin. “I stole an entire sun’s worth of sunlight. That’s thirty thousand trillion trillion shots.”

“Good Lord!” Giles exclaimed, nearly falling out of his seat. “That’s… that much energy could destroy the entire planet!”

The girl laughed. “Don’t worry, Mr. Giles, it’s only sunlight. It can’t explode unless you turn it into something else, and you’re too fuddy-duddy for something like that.” She tossed him the vial. “Think of it as a supernatural pest repellent.”

He fumbled as he caught it. “How the devil did you-” But the girl was gone.

“Hmph,” Giles muttered. “Bloody slayers, always trying to show off as if they were bloody Batman…”

Three thousand miles away, a woman in a red trench coat slipped into an office in the VILE headquarters and laughed softly.

“That ought to keep them scrambling for a while! Mm, doing bad deeds for good is rather fun. I wish I could see the look on that boy’s face was like when they told him-”

She froze as she snapped on a lamp. There, on her desk, was a thin package wrapped in brown paper and twine. She glanced at the door. Still locked from the inside- nobody should have been able to get in here except for her.

She carefully walked over to the desk and gingerly picked it up. It didn’t seem to be booby trapped, but one could never be too careful in her profession. There was a card taped to the top. As she pulled it free, her nose caught a hint of rich chocolate. Could it actually- but who would send her anything like that? She opened the note.

Our thanks for your bright contribution to the cause. I’m sure Andrew is already having a geekspasm over, shall we say,the light of the matter. I hope you find this a… tasteful gift.

Until the next time we meet,

P.S. You might look into getting smaller ventilation shafts. Don’t feel bad, it’s a classic villain mistake.

The End

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