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Well, she sneaks around the world

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Summary: Xander, having never yet failed to find a slayer, may have met his match. Or, perhaps, found her...

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Miscellaneous > Surprise CrossoverjoshlamontFR721,1741347,77312 Aug 101 Jan 11Yes

And Faith thought she was bad.

Little bit of an idea that popped in. One shot, unless something brilliant hits me at three in the morning one night.


“Hey, Buffy, I think I got a lead.”

“Xander? Weren’t you on a slow boat in China?”

“Yeah, I jumped ship in Taiwan. But listen, I think she stole Seoul in South Korea.”

“She steals souls?! We’ve got a soul-stealing slayer?!”

“No, Seoul, the city.”

“A city. She stole a city. Xander, are we sure she’s a slayer?”

“One hundred percent, Buff. She was tricky way before the Calling, though- stole the snow right offa’ Mt. Fuji. The slayer boost just let her up her game. Anyway, I need to talk to Giles. Can you get him for me?”

“Yeah, sure, just give me a second.” Xander listened to the clunk of the phone onto a counter.

“Giles!” Buffy’s voice echoed in the background. There was a faint patter of footsteps for a moment, and then everything went quiet.

A few minutes later, there was some shuffling in the background and then a scrape as somebody’s hand lifted the phone. “Yes, hello?”

“G-man, hey! Got a question here for you. Before Seoul disappeared, the girl was trying to set up a market for Nubian baskets with some of your britsy moolah. Any idea why?”

“Britsy moo- You mean pounds?”

“Yeah, that’s the stuff.”

“Well, considering it was Nubian baskets, she was probably planning some sort of trade connection with Egypt.”

“Ah. Gotcha. So she’s in de Nile?”

“Oh, dear Lord.”

Xander grinned at the groan that came over the line “Thanks for the tip-off, G-man. Tell Willow we’ll be tapping into the witch-net for a port to the land of the mummies.”


Xander tried to keep his balance on the strut of the zeppelin flying over Greenland.

“You don’t have to do this!” he cried out to the woman hanging from the rope above.

Have to? Of course not!” she laughed. “Want to? Definitely!”

“Look, I doubt anyone’s going to miss the salt in the Dead Sea, but every last drop of salsa in Mexico? You’ll ruin their economy!” Xander shouted against the wind. “And the best coffee in Guatemala? I’ve seen slayers kill for less!”

She smirked. “Good thing I’m one of them now according to you, hey?”

“You like the challenge, I get it, I do. You need it. But you could be helping people with that need instead of hurting them. I mean, that thing with the Dead Sea probably wiped out every salt monster for miles!”

“I was a goody-gumshoe once already, Watcher-boy! And…” There was a sudden flash, and a large golden bubble began floating up toward the zeppelin. “Now I’ve got all the yellow in not-so-green-anymore land! Time for you to go!”

“At least put back the dykes!” Xander cried, grabbing onto a rail for support. The zeppelin shuddered. “It could save lives! Or replace them with something better! Something only you could do!”

“Hmm.” Her red coat flew in the wind as she swung down to where Xander was and right up to his face. “Only since you asked, handsome.” Then she kissed him and pushed him over the side.

Disclaimer: I neither own nor claim the rights to either Carmen Sandiego or Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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