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And Sometimes We Fall

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This story is No. 3 in the series "I Dreamed a Dream (Of a Life Gone By)". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: A vexing conversation with the green-eyed woman leaves Siri questioning her destiny. Written for the 2010 August Fic-a-Day.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Star Wars > Buffy-CenteredkerrykhatFR711,072011,44113 Aug 1013 Aug 10Yes
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and related characters; George Lucas owns "Star Wars" and related characters; I own nothing.

“Sometimes things are so much clearer up here,” Siri’s companion commented, swinging her legs absently from her perch at the top of a rickety looking tower. Siri stood a few steps behind her, eying the ledge carefully. Just because the green-eyed woman wasn’t afraid of it didn’t mean she was the same way.

In the year since her talk with Master Yoda about her past, Siri’s dreams and visions had become less frequent, but the memories were becoming stronger, as were their influences on her daily life. It was becoming harder and harder to hide it from those close to her, especially her good friend Obi-Wan. She had told Adi Gallia after a particularly vivid dream, but even then she sometimes thought her Master believed her to be crazy.

“Why are we up here?” Siri asked, studying the woman in front of her. Despite several interactions with her--all of them rather cryptic--Siri still didn’t know her name or any other substantial details about her life, other than she fought creatures called “vampires” and “demons,” and that she was close to a group of individuals she called the “Scoobies.”

“We’re waiting for the Dawn,” the woman answered a hint of emphasis and sadness on the last word. “The Dawn will come and then we’ll have a choice to make: do we jump, or do we stay on the platform and risk falling anyways?”

“What do you mean? What are you talking about?” Siri asked in what felt like a routine every time she talked to the green-eyed woman. There was nothing straightforward about talking to her, only riddle after riddle. It was enough to make Siri tempted to ignore the Jedi teachings about patience and keeping one’s temper in check. It was only the knowledge that this would probably have no effect on the woman that prevented Siri from doing so.

“Years ago, we had a choice,” the woman answered, getting to her feet and looking at Siri. “We had a gift to give, only we realized it too late and everything shifted, and we fell. We stayed on this platform for one moment too long. What might have happened if we jumped? Would the results be the same? Or would they be different? You don’t know until you need to make that choice.”

“You’re making no sense!” Siri argued, stepping closer to the woman. Behind her, Siri could see the faint traces of light peeking over the horizon, the first sign of the coming dawn. “Why are you telling me this? What are you trying to say?”

“I wear the cheese, it does not wear me,” the woman said with a bright smile. She turned back around and walked towards the edge of the platform. The light continued to brighten, and the woman closed her eyes and raised her face towards the sky.

“What’s our gift?” Siri asked, knowing that she’d never get any straightforward answer to the woman’s last comment. The woman opened her eyes and gestured for Siri to join her on the edge. Hesitant and not trusting the strength of the metal below her, Siri inched towards the woman. The woman stood on her tip-toes and whispered something in Siri’s ear. Siri looked down at the woman in shock, wondering if she had heard her correctly. The woman smiled sadly, and before Siri could ask her any more questions, backed up a few steps before running and leaping gracefully off the platform.

Siri watched her fall before the tower began shaking violently. She desperately grabbed at the flimsy excuse for a railing, but the shaking only intensified. She watched in horror as the ledge in front of her began to collapse, bringing her closer and closer to the edge...

“Siri. Siri!” Dimly, she heard a voice calling her name.

Her eyes flew open, and she realized the source of the shaking in her dreams. Obi-Wan stood next to her, a concerned look on his face. With a groan, Siri sat up on the small cot in the cruiser they were taking to the planet Cirrus for their latest mission.

“Are you well?” he asked her, taking a small step backwards. “Qui-Gon sent me here to get you, but it was difficult to wake you, even more so than normal.” The barest hint of a smile ghosted across his face at his last statement.

“Like you’re any better, Sleepy-Wan,” Siri teased back, getting to her feet and stretching. “No, nothing’s wrong with me. I was just making sure I was as well rested as could be before this mission. You never know when I’ll need my strength to get you out of trouble.”

“I think it’s more likely that I’ll have to find a way to get you out of whatever situation you find yourself in,” Obi-Wan retorted. Siri shook her head and gestured for him to move.

“I’ll join you in a few minutes,” she told him. “I want to use the fresher before landing.” Obi-Wan studied her for a moment before nodding.

“You know you can trust me if anything is going on, Siri,” he said, his voice low. Siri forced a smile to her face.

“I know, Obi-Wan,” she replied. “And there really is nothing wrong with me. I’m fine.”

“I’ll let Master Gallia and Qui-Gon know that you’ll join us,” he finally said, finding her hand and giving it a small squeeze before leaving her alone. Siri tried to walk calmly into the fresher, but as soon as she sealed the door, she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. She knew that they would be tinged with green, as they always seemed to be now whenever she conversed with the woman, and it was taking longer and longer for them to go back to their normal shade of blue.

Shakily, she walked over to the sink and splashed water on her face. She needed to compose herself before going to the cockpit, where any of the three Jedi--including her Master, who was the only one who knew her secret--would discern her conflicting and unsettled emotions. Hard as she tried, though, it was difficult with the woman’s last words ringing in her head.

“What did she mean by death is our gift?” Siri muttered to herself, looking up at the mirror. Her green-eyed reflection had no answers for her.

The End

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