Joss Whedon owns "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and related characters; George Lucas owns "Star Wars" and related characters; I own nothing.~*~*~
Buffy wondered if this is how Giles had felt when he was first assigned to be her Watcher: not exactly sure what he was doing, outgunned by the person he was supposed to be guiding, and deathly afraid of what could happen to her. She sure knew that she was feeling this way every time she and the Padawan Pack were sent into the field. It hadn’t been too bad while Ben was still here, still running things. There had been fewer Padawans that she had to watch out for, and there were enough experienced Jedi to make sure that the Padawans were never put into that much danger.
That changed the day that Ben disappeared from that exploding walker. Suddenly, she felt alone, vulnerable in a way that she hadn’t been before. She hadn’t realized how much she relied on Obi-Wan throughout this whole mess, how much he meant to her as both a leader and a friend, and how achingly empty she felt now that he was gone.
“Buffy, the Pack’s waiting for you,” Anakin called out from the still-torrential downpour. Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to block out the image that seemed to always show up whenever she was with the Pack now:I’m sixteen years-old. I don’t want to die.
the ghost of the girl she used to be whispered, reminding Buffy of her former burden, of her new responsibility.
Nobody had said anything like that, but she knew that they were thinking it: Aubrie with her pure talent as a healer; Zule, who was relying more and more on her bitterness and frustration as the war ground on; the overly-talkative Windo “Warble” Nend who could out-babble Willow... She was sure it had crossed the mind of all nine Padawans that she was in charge of leading.I don’t want to die.
She had been Aubrie’s age when she had died that first time, Anakin’s when she jumped off the tower for Dawn. Every time she went out with the Pack, she prayed that today wouldn’t be the day that she lost one of them. She now understood why Giles had been willing to sacrifice himself to the Master back in Sunnydale: there was nothing she wouldn’t do to keep these kids safe, so that they could see another day.
“The Slayer has now become the Watcher,” she muttered to herself as she made sure that she had extra blaster packs, that her armor was secure, and that the sticks holding her bun together were there. “I wonder what Giles would say?” He would probably pinch his nose and do his whole “the world is doomed” bit, but secretly be proud of her.
“Master Summers, are you coming or what?” Mak shouted, using the name that Anakin had given her as a joke and that the rest of them had soon adopted. She might not be a Jedi or even Force sensitive, but they knew that she would do anything for them. That she would do her best to make sure that they made off of this muddy hell-hole alive. I don’t want to die.Not today,
Buffy silently promised the ghost that kept following her as she exited the crude metal structure and went to join her charges. None of you are going to die today.