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Do The Hokey Pokey

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Summary: Various one-shots and plot bunnies that I doubt I'll ever write into full stories. Mostly AU.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Action/Adventure > Buffy-CenteredyoyoenteFR1842,422042,29027 Aug 1014 Mar 11No


Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any of its characters. I only borrow them occasionally for fun.


Faith tossed the guy, and before his back had even touched the wall, Buffy’s stake was in his chest. The brunette eyed the move and speed with envy. It was hard enough having everyone hint, and outright say that the blonde Slayer was better without having to actually see it.

The guy didn’t burst into dust. In fact, blood started gushing from the wound.

Faith’s mouth dropped open in shockhorrordisbelief. Her eyes flitted to Buffy, already dreading how the other Slayer would react. She’d always talked on and on about morals and rules. Accident or not, Buffy had killed a man.

None of the emotions she’d expected were present on the blonde’s face. In fact apathetic would best describe how the blonde Slayer appeared. Faith gawked. Where was goody-miss-two-shoes now? Where was Buffy?

The blonde’s eyes flicked up from the dying man, saw Faith’s shock, and suddenly horror filled her expression.

The dark haired Slayer could only listen and watch in a daze as that emotionless creature disappeared behind a perfect mask.

Uneasiness filled her, even as she ran from the scene – as per Blondie’s ‘panicked’ orders.

As soon as she reached her motel room though, curiosity took hold and she doubled back.

There was no body. And, though she could smell the slightest hint of blood, it was overpowered by the vodka that had been poured over the spot. The bottle lay smashed in the wet spot, making it appear as though it was all accidental.

For several days, Faith felt as though she was losing her mind. There were no cops showing up to question her, no significant looks from the blonde Slayer. Nothing except her nightmares to reinforce that it had actually happened.

Then she heard a news report that Alan Finch, the Mayor’s second hand, had been found in a torched warehouse. Dental records had been required to identify the body. It was unsure whether the death was accidental, or if there’d been foul play.

She went to Giles.

Two days later she was in chains at the mansion, listening to a blind, love-sick vampire spout out nonsense about admitting to her guilt, or some such bullshit.

And then those British bastards had broken in and taken her, to do God only knows what.

But Buffy saved her.

A flicker of the blank apathetic stare with an underlying calculation made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

Faith kept her mouth shut this time though.


A/N: This is quite obviously AU. It could be pretty much the same BTVS series up until that point, but I imagine that a sociopath Buffy pretending to be a bubbly blonde would act a bit different in certain situations. The Master would have probably been blown up by a pipe bomb. She'd have never 'fallen in love' with Angel. Hell, Angel may have been staked the first time they'd met, because a sociopath Slayer would probably be a lot more inclined to hone her Slayery skills, than ignore them in some mistaken wish to be 'normal'. Etc.

The End?

The author is currently looking for one or more beta readers for this story. If you are interested, please leave a private review.

You have reached the end of "Do The Hokey Pokey" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 14 Mar 11.

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