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Buffy on Deck

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Summary: Buffy and Xander go on a Cruise with Dawn and some Mini-Slayers tagging along. But life is never as simple as that and this is one vacay that ain't going to end happily.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Other-Children's/(Pre-)Teen ShowsSithicusFR1338,3041152,9538 Sep 1014 Oct 10No

London the Vampire Slayer

Author's Notes: This has been on my harddrive half-finished for months. Now I can finally post it. Harmless little bit of fun in this one folks - and we learn what happens when London Tipton learns about Vampires. LOL



Emma Tutweiller sat in her cabin stroking one of her kitties absently as she continued to contemplate the situation from previously – her mind was stuck on the strange sense of need she’d had – the strong sense of possessiveness and then of course the mystifying reaction she’d had when the younger man had eyed her.

With that fire in his eye that made her skin tingle and the hairs on her body stand up – just the thought of it made her – blushing slightly she shook her head. “Think unsexy thoughts, Emma,” she told herself.

A loud knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. Emma stood up and dropped the cat to the floor without conscious thought as she moved to answer her door.

“Miss Tutweiller!” mister Moseby exclaimed barging in once the door was open.

Behind him was that same young man from before and a little ten-year old passenger. A young red-haired girl.

Emma blushed upon seeing the young one-eyed man again. “What is it, Marion?” she asked slipping on the name.

Marion eyed Emma briefly with that look and she flinched back slightly. “London’s gone off in her submarine to Port Royale,” he declared.

Emma’s face paled. “She left the ship again?” she asked nervously.

Moseby nodded. “Exactly, she’s gone shopping, according to Bailey,” he revealed.

Emma laughed. “Well that can’t be so bad,” she said.

Moseby eyed her as if she’d lost her mind. “Obviously you don’t know what happens when London goes shopping,” he said. “Although to be fair Maddie did help her overcome some of her foibles in that regard,” he added absently.

Emma sighed. “Mister Moseby, if London left to go shopping that means at least she’ll be back to the ship when she’s finished.” She eyed Moseby and then the other man briefly as that same tingling sensation came over her.

While they’d been talking Xander had studied the cabin closely – his eye noting the depressing sight of a woman who had fallen into a state of despair and almost cat lady crazy – he also noticed that upon his entering several of the cats started hissing at him and their eyes shone supernaturally.

This solved the mystery of Emma Tutweiller – somehow her pets had sensed her loneliness and tapped into the magical aspects of reality – cats weren’t revered in Egypt for nothing after all. They’d passed on some of their traits to her through constant exposure – hence why she’d gone all Cat Woman Primal earlier.

He’d have to get Willow to speak with Emma about the situation when they had a moment – she’d be able to help the woman more if she wanted to get rid of the cat traits in her aura.

Moseby eyed Xander with deep scrutiny – it had been difficult convincing him that he needed to talk to London about a very important development, but with Leslie to help prove the existence of supernatural stuff it hadn’t been that hard. And Moseby had been aware of London’s increased strength for quite some time.

In fact he’d mentioned that the young woman had exhibited odd behaviors occasionally even before she got the strength increase – the only reason she hadn’t been attacked by the Bringers during that whole kill off all Potentials deal probably had to do with the fact that many of the Potentials in America weren’t as easy to get to. Because most of them hadn’t been discovered by the Council – like Leslie’s friend who’d broken a baseball bat during a game and sent a ball sixteen city blocks out of the park.

Moseby was silently asking Xander if he should bring up why London needed to be seen by him in front of Emma.

Xander shook his head.

Moseby nodded and turned back to Emma. “We’ve got to get London back here now,” he stated. “Any ideas?”

Emma frowned slightly finally noticing the reactions from her cats at the presence of the young man in her cabin – she chose to ignore it to focus on the problem that was London Tipton – the solution seemed obvious. “Just call up the sub and tell her we’re about to dock in Milan,” she said.

Moseby’s eyes shone with mirth. “She’ll kill me when she finds out we’re not,” he said.

“I agree, Mister Moseby, but if the situation is as important as you say she’ll forgive you,” Emma said. “Besides we are going to be in Paris soon,” she added.

“Right then, to the radio room!” Moseby declared marching out of the room followed by the young girl.

“Is that offer still open?” Emma asked.

Xander smiled. “Yes,” he said. “I’ll have a friend of mine standing by to discuss it with us,” he promised.

“Is this friend your girlfriend?” Emma asked disappointed that she wasn’t going to get her private chat – that had the potential to turn into something she desperately needed – being a virgin at her age was definitely no fun.

Xander sighed. “One step at a time, Emma, but don’t worry… I am currently single,” Xander told her deciding not to destroy all of her hopes – as women who were attracted to Xander Harris went – Emma Tutweiller wasn’t the worst to come along. Plus Anya always said older woman who needed some should be treated with respect and kindness, because they were this close to being driven into a homicidal rage that could end up killing seventeen males, three dogs and a goat. Anya had odd ideas of vengeance at times.

“Oh fine,” Emma said reservedly. “I’ll come by later,” she said.

“Great, cabin number seventeen,” Xander revealed before turning and rushing off to catch up with Moseby. “One crisis after another – it’s like they’re trying to ruin my vacay for all those times I messed up a prophecy,” he muttered under his breath.



Across the ocean in a little out of the way dive – well London Tipton considered it an out of the way dive – her father considered it an escape from the insane demands his life placed on him. Wilfred Tipton was seated in a lounge chair smiling as he sipped a brandy and once again praised his insightful ruse of sending the look-a-like out into the real world when he needed an escape.

Unfortunately Magic can not be fooled and without warning Wilfred Tipton found himself the unaware host of three people who appeared directly in front of him. As if by magic.

“Mister Tipton?” the British man asked – he was a taller man than Wilfred and dressed much plainer.

“How did you find me here?” Tipton demanded not bothered in the least by the sudden arrival. He was many things, but unprepared was never one of them.

“Locator spell,” the red-headed woman stated.

Wilfred curled his lip at that. “I told you before I wanted nothing to do with your little society!” he complained loudly.

The woman shared a confused look with her traveling companions.

“That isn’t why we’re here,” the British man stated. “My name is Rupert Giles and this concerns a recently discovered development with your daughter,” he informed.

Wilfred’s expression changed instantly becoming dangerous. “My daughter will not be learning about magic, period! She is already difficult enough to get schooled in regular matters and I refuse to introduce her to this pitiful Wizarding community of yours,” he stated dismissively. “I left her for a reason.”

Again the group shared a confused look. It was the dark-haired woman who hadn’t spoken before that realized what he was referring to. “He means those silly Harry Potter wannabes we bumped into,” she explained.

“Ah, yes, quite,” Giles muttered.

“Kennedy, technically Harry Potter is the wannabe seeing as how J. K. Rowling is a member of this wizard society which exists in secret,” Willow reminded.

“Gotcha, sweetie,” Kennedy said with a wink.

Wilfred Tipton frowned – something about these three was giving him some majorly bad vibes. “If this isn’t about my daughter suddenly developing magical abilities… what precisely is the nature of this new development?” he inquired as polite as he could manage when being interrupted in his ‘me’ time.

Rupert Giles frowned slightly. “Mister Tipton, seeing as you are aware of that curious Wizarding society you mentioned, is it safe to assume that you have also heard of The Slayer?”

Wilfred’s face paled and an ashy taste filled his mouth. “The one girl in all the world destined to fight those monsters that escape or are twisted by evil magics into gross abominations of themselves,” he stated an icy stab of fear in his chest. “Please tell me my daughter was not chosen to replace the last Slayer,” he pleaded.

Willow frowned in sympathy and quickly shook her head. “It isn’t like that anymore,” she explained. “The First Evil tried to wipe out the entire Slayer line, so we cheated and triggered an activation in all of the Potentials everywhere… It seems your daughter was one of them.”

Wilfred stared at her in absolute shock. “Impossible!” he exclaimed. “The level of power required to trigger such an event would be astronomical – there is no possible way that…” he trailed off as Willow’s hair changed from red to white and a little of her power bled out. Wilfred rose from his seat in a flash. “You’re a Wiccan!” he accused.

“So, you’re a Wizard,” Willow shot back defensively.

Wilfred shook his head. “First Ex-Wife actually,” he corrected. “She cursed me when we broke up so I’d forever be marrying and re-marrying younger bimbos… Are you single?” he asked suddenly changing gears.

Willow shot him a disgusted look.

Kennedy entwined her fingers with Willow’s. “Sorry. Taken,” she stated coldly.

Wilfred nodded. “Right, sorry about that, I did say I was cursed.” He sighed. “I don’t suppose you could?”

Willow shook her head. “Wiccan and Wizard magic don’t blend well together,” she informed. “Something to do with their wands and their family magic… it’s all hard core,” she explained.

“Right.” Wilfred clapped his hands together and resumed his seat. “Well if this isn’t about anything really important,” he said.

Rupert Giles glared at him. “You just discovered your daughter is now one of possibly thousands of young girls turned into Slayers and you consider that unimportant?” he demanded.

Wilfred shot back up. “My daughter means a lot to me, but she is a very large disappointment… I have tried many times to get through to her the importance of schooling, as well as other things, but she refuses to wake up to her potential as a Tipton. She coasts through life acting the dunce when she is far more intelligent than she gives herself credit for…” Wilfred trailed off as his rage started to threaten leaking out. “I may be partly to blame when our fledgling empire wasn’t as stable as it was now and I was forced to ignore her to work long hours to ensure she’d want for nothing… But that is beside the point,” Wilfred stated returning to his seat and his brandy.

Willow was about to go off on a tirade when Giles’ hand on her shoulder stopped her.

He shook his head. “I can see where it shall be left up to London what course she chooses to take, good day, Mister Tipton,” he informed in a cold tone before they vanished once again.

Wilfred sighed and shook his head. “They don’t understand, you have to be cruel to be kind,” he stated to himself. “Tough love and all that. It’s what a parent does – and on top of that the marriage curse wasn’t the only one my first ex-wife cast on me before we split up… I just can’t tell them about that one because of the nature of it.” Wilfred took a large sip of brandy to drown away the pain in his heart and returned to relaxing.



London dashed into Moseby’s office clearly out of breath. She gasped and fought the urge to heave – having run almost clear across the ship from the submarine docking station to the central bridge area of the S.S. Tipton.

After several minutes of deep breathing London managed to adopt a very big grin. “When are we docking in Milan?” she demanded.

“Three weeks,” Moseby replied with a straight face.

London’s face flashed with deep rage. “Three weeks!” she shouted slamming her fist into Mosbey’s desk.

“AH!” Moseby shrieked like a little girl as the desk cracked in half and slumped to the floor.

London glared at Moseby closely ignoring her display of strength – it wasn’t that new to her and so what if Moseby’s desk was made out of the densest wood known to mankind. “You called me back here from my shopping trip to Port Royale under the pretense that we’d be arriving in Milan momentarily and you expect me not to hurt you?” she demanded.

“London, please!” Moseby hastily said. “We’ve got bigger problems right now than your need to buy new clothes… Someone onboard the ship knows why you’re so strong and how to help you,” he revealed.

London paused. On the one hand she was royally upset that she couldn’t get her shop on – on the other hand she desperately wanted to control this unwanted – though useful for hauling large shopping trip purchases – strength.

London took a seat. “Ok, Moseby, you’ve got thirty-seconds,” she stated pulling out a nail file from her purse.

“Mister Harris,” Moseby said.

A one-eyed muscular man stepped out from behind the door eyeing the desk curiously – he approached London with a grimace and cleared his throat.

“Moseby who is this?” London interrupted before he could talk.

“One of the passengers, Alexander Harris, Chief Operations Specialist of the International Watchers Council two point oh,” Moseby introduced. “Alexander, London Tipton, I’ll leave you two to talk… Good luck with that,” he added before slipping out the door and shutting it behind him.

“Twenty-one seconds left,” London pointed out resuming her nail filing.

Xander shot her a glare letting some of the primal out.

London ignored it. “Please, some of my daddy’s business associates are scarier than that,” she scoffed. “Seventeen.”

Xander rolled his eyes. “London Tipton, you are one of a thousand specially chosen girls given the potential to become the Vampire Slayer. Due to unforeseen complications at the hands of a really bad demon thing we had to activate all the potentials in the world – hence why you have more strength and other things.” Xander’s explanation was concise – to the point – and hurried. Something he didn’t like, but when dealing with rich heiresses it was necessary to get to the point quickly.

London blinked a few times. “Is that all?” she asked as if it were no big deal.

Xander stared at her incredulously – this was definitely Code Black behavior – and one of these days he was going to find a way of dealing with it. “I just told you that you’re a super strong mystical warrior woman and all you can ask is, is that all?” he demanded in shock.

London shrugged. “What’s the big deal?” she asked. “I’m one of a thousand, you just said so. Do I get some kind of prize or something for it?” she asked hopefully eyeing him now.

Xander shook his head.

“See. No big deal. Let the other nine hundred and ninety-nine fight over who get’s to be top Vampire Slayer, I don’t want the title,” London stated noncommittally.

Xander started pacing. “You don’t seem to grasp what I’m telling you here. You are a mystically empowered warrior for the forces of Light. Fighting against the forces of Hell itself, the monsters and all that, you know. The ones that are going to hunt you down now that you are a Slayer so they can kill you just for the prestige… Doesn’t that even remotely bother you?” he demanded frustratedly.

London started laughing and her entire demeanor seemed to change. “Please. I live in a hotel, I’ve dealt with vampires before this, I was five years old when I ran into my first one and he tried to snack on me. He was dead before dawn,” she informed. Once again she succeeded in taking Xander by surprise.

“You did what?” he shouted.

London dismissed his question with an arrogant wave of her hand. “I’m London Tipton, vampires don’t hunt me, they don’t even try to eat me… And do you want to know why?”

Xander nodded dumbly at the question.

London smiled a shark’s tooth grin. “Because they know what happens if they try. Here, this is the picture of the balcony of my penthouse suite,” London said reaching into her purse and digging out a small photograph.

Xander took it and studied it closely – it took him five minutes to figure out what he was supposed to be looking at. “Are those bones?” he demanded in sudden awe.

London smirked. “Of course.”

Xander looked at the young woman in absolute shock. “You did that? But that means you had to have killed a Master Vampire, I mean I’ve only ever known one blood sucking bastard powerful enough that his bones remained after dusting… who is this?” he asked stunned.

London shrugged dismissively. “Somebody named V something or other, Vlade, Vladislov, something like that… He was staying at the Tipton and tried to eat the helpless heiress. I showed him good, then I had Arwin nail his skeleton up outside my room to make sure nobody else tried anything like that.” London had a smug – pleased with herself – expression on her face as she resumed nonchalantly filing her nails.

Xander stared at her in abject horror. He could not believe what she’d just told them. It made no sense – mainly because Dracula had come to Sunnydale years after the fact… unless the Dracula who came to Sunnydale was in fact a poseur and not the real deal. But that would mean… “I hate code blacks,” he muttered frustratedly.

London eyed him with the shining light of curiosity. “What’s a Code Black?” she asked. “Is it anything like a Code Blue?” she added with a happy clueless smile.

Xander stammered slightly. “Uh… well… ummmm…”

To Be Concluded…

The End?

You have reached the end of "Buffy on Deck" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 14 Oct 10.

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