Summery: Faith’s got a problem. A big problem. Something that’s gonna change her life.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters. None what so ever!
Additional disclaimer: The timing is off, this story has stuff that covers a year or two, but it’s supposed to take place in 9 months.
Oh, and I wrote this before I saw the episode of Angel that it corisponds to, so sorry!
* You might need a kleenex, or a hanky. Someone reviewed to tell me this made them cry!
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She just stared, she couldn’t believe her ears. Yeah, she’d been warned that there were consequences to her actions, but she had never really considered it. She was careful. And, well, being the slayer put her above the laws, and everything. Right?
“Your always welcome. That’s what we’re here for. If you need a place to sleep, or a hot meal. Anything. Your always welcome.”
“Yeah, whatever.” She blew her off. She hoped off the table, walked out of the room, down the hall, breezed through the lobby and out the door. She blew past the sign declaring ‘Help Our People Excel clinic and shelter.’
It was free, that’s why she had originally chose it. Free, with no paper trail. Her type of place.
She chose it after feeling off for three weeks. She hid it for as long as she could, but eventually B noticed, she was wicked tired all the time, and she was dizzy while slaying. And not the normal concussion type thing. Not that she was on speaking terms with B anymore. More of a kicking/punching terms.
Of course, Mayor Wilkins could have paid for her to see any doctor, but she didn’t want him knowing, his big day was in less than a week. 4 days, in fact. Just one more big job, and then she could sit back and relax. She definitely didn’t want him knowing.
Two days later, she found herself killing a volcanologist. Piece of cake. He screamed, she loved it when they did. That night was what she had been waiting for. To get back at Little Miss Perfect.
Of course, how was she supposed to know there was a cure? Sure as hell it wouldn’t be her, no matter what she had to risk. That stab came pretty close to her big secret, though.
She heard stuff, a few times. Wilkins, crying. Men and women conversing. Just enough to know it was safe. She just wanted to sleep. There was time enough to deal with what came next.
When she finally dragged herself out of that pit she had been in for…hours? Days? Weeks? Months, even? She noticed the change right away. Luckily, she had always been small, it wasn’t noticeable, not yet.
That body switching thing was something else. She got to go back, before she made the mistake, just one last time, and it was oh…so good, even if it was in B’s body, and with that child she was running with these days. Of course, now B knew her secret. But she really didn’t care.
As time went on, she sins caught up with her. She realized she couldn’t live the way she was, not for long. On the run with a…she wouldn’t think about it now. Just a few more miles, one more truck, flaunt it, then she’d be ok, for a few days. They weren’t on her trail, yet.
She ended up in L.A. and surprise surprise, look who she ran into. Angel. He took her in, after awhile. A nice soft bed, something she thought she might never see again.
She was so skinny, always had been, and with the lack of eating, she couldn’t afford much these days, but soon, that would change. Her whole life would change.
Then, the problems started. What few pants she had brought no longer seemed to fit. Either get a larger size, or change her style. Angel didn’t know yet, nobody knew. Well, he might, who knew what his vampire senses could tell him. She didn’t know how perceptive he was these days. She could start wearing…ugh! Dresses, but then even Cordelia and Wesley would realize something was wrong, and then it wouldn’t be long until her secret was out.
She went to Angel. It was good to get it off her…well, stomach. He took it well. Didn’t seem surprised or nothing, but he was always good at hiding his emotions. Always the world’s best actor.
He talked her into…turning herself in. In jail, he told her, she’d have proper medical care, good, healthy meals, and she wouldn’t have the added stress of running, which must have been a danger. Plus, she’d be away from vamps and demons, just waiting to take her out in her…altered, weakened state.
Plus, he’d joked, the orange jumpsuits were really roomy. Just what she needed.
So, she followed his advice. He was the one person she almost trusted. She went right to the police station. Angel had a…friend that he said would help her. Make sure she was taken care of, didn’t get beat up or nothing. Cuz that would be dangerous, so far along.
Now she had to think about what was best for it. She couldn’t keep it, no way. Yet the thought of it never knowing her, knowing about her, what she had done for it, it chilled her, for some reason. She didn’t want it growing up in the world she had had to, she didn’t want it to know true suffering.
So on that day, she made the hardest decision of her life.
“Here you go, it’s a girl.”
“No. Don’t want to hold it. Get it away from me. Put it up for adoption. Can’t keep it, not here.” She kept herself hard toward the struggling bundle. Didn’t want to care. Touching it would only make it that much harder.
She was already crying on the inside, she couldn’t let her emotions show through, no matter what. Or she’d never survive.
“I don’t want her.”