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Big Red Truck

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This story is No. 5 in the series "Glee Set Lists". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Five times Brittany understood exactly what was being said to her and one time she almost did. Glee noncross.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > GleetootsFR1511,878282,70326 Sep 1026 Sep 10Yes
Big Red Truck

Discliamer: I don’t own Glee. That’s Ryan Murphy.

1.)Dumb Bitch

“Daddy,” Brittany says, frowning in concentration. “Are you going to live in the dog house?”

Brittany’s daddy just blinked at her in disbelief before turning away, muttering, “Dumb little bitch. Just like her mother. What did I ever do…?”

Brittany doesn’t hear the rest, jerking like she’s been slapped. Bethany’s arm wraps tight around Brittany’s narrow shoulders and they cling to one another as their daddy leaves.

Brittany’s five and Bethany’s seven and they love each other like only sisters that close in age can.

“You’re not dumb,” Bethany whispers and they stay like that until Mommy comes to get them for dinner, eyes red and puffy.

Brittany knows she’ll never be as smart as Bethany is. Mommy says that’s just because Bethany came first, so she’s older and supposed to know more. But Brittany knows that’s not what her Daddy meant. He left because Brittany’s just like her mommy and Bethany’s not like anybody. He left and it’s all her fault.

2.)Pretty Awesome

Now, Bethany’s 13 and Brittany’s 11 and they hate each other like only sisters that close in age and that different can. Brittany’s blonde and taking dance lessons because she has long, elegant limbs. Bethany wears glasses and Mommy swears at Jesus sometimes because she thinks he’s trying to make her oldest a mouse, brown hair to her hips and short body rounding by the day. (Brittany thinks that’s silly. Everybody knows that the color of your shampoo causes the color of your hair. Brittany uses that bright yellow baby shampoo and her hair stays soft and blonde.)

Brittany’s gotten into the Junior Cheerios, which excites her Mommy and she takes them out for ice cream to celebrate. Well, Brittany can’t eat it because Coach Sylvester visited and put them all on a diet and Mommy won’t let Bethany eat anything like that because she’s afraid it’ll make her fatter, but it’s the first day Brittany’s gotten to hang out with Bethany where they’re both angry at the same time, just not at each other.

But the best part is that Brittany made two friends today. Quinn is blonde and frail looking and doesn’t say much but doesn’t walk away, either.

Santanna, though, watches as she does pirouettes and splits in the air (Coach Sylvester has a fancy name for them but Brittany can never remember) and says, “That’s pretty awesome.”

She smiles and Brittany feels warm tingles. If she can keep being pretty awesome, she’s pretty sure she can keep her new friend.

3.)We Can’t

Brittany’s 15 and Bethany’s gone, away at some school for ubersmart people on scholarship. Bethany hasn’t come home for almost 3 years and Brittany misses her in an abstract way but sometimes forgets she’s actually supposed to be there.

Quinn’s knocked up, Santanna hates everybody but Brittany, and they’ve all joined Glee because Coach Sylvester wants to bring it down from the inside. Brittany’s not positive what that means, but she knows she’s supposed to take videos and stuff, so whatever. As long as she doesn’t get kicked off the Cheerios and she gets to sing and dance.

Brittany’s already told the Gleeks about how sex doesn’t mean dating, so they know that she and Santanna aren’t dating but are having sex. She doesn’t understand why they can’t do more than hold pinkies, just in the choir room.

“We can’t,” Santanna says, getting angry. “We just can’t. We’re not Hummel. We’re Cheerios.”

Brittany doesn’t understand what Kurt or cheerleading has to do with anything but she gets the rest. They can’t make out, not even in front of the Gleeks. They can’t hold hands like Rachel and Finn or Artie and Tina. They can’t be together. She doesn’t understand why because Santanna’s her best friend and Brittany loves her. But she understands that they can’t.

4.)Good Job

Brittany’s 18 and about to graduate. Bethany, for once, is home and happy. They love each other again like only sisters that are that close in age and have settled into who they want to be can.

But, before everyone graduates, there’s one more Glee performance and it’s going to forever be Brittany’s favorite. Because she orchestrated the whole thing. She worked with Mercedes on the costumes, Rachel on the song choice, and she choreographed the entire routine. It’s also the first performance of the Glee club Bethany has seen.

In the end, when she’s standing beside Santanna, one hand leaning on Artie’s chair and the other holding a diploma, she can’t stop smile. Brittany knows she’s not a genius, that she’s not even all that smart. But she graduated and she’s already got a job as a backup dancer waiting for her.

Bethany’s gushing in big words, as per usual, and Brittany blinks at her because that’s usually enough when Bethany gets on a roll.

Mr. Schue hurries up, probably trying to get to all of them before they leave, and he doesn’t stop until he’s hugging both Brittany and Santanna. Bethany goes blessedly silent, eyes rounding behind her coke bottle lenses. Brittany cuddles in and even Santanna hangs on because Mr. Schuester has always been the one man in their life that’s never asked for more than they want to give and he still loves them.

He pulls back, reaching down to do some funky handshake with Artie as he says, “You guys. I swear, I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. Glee club just won’t be the same. Artie, you’re going to have to recruit me a guitar player that’s at least half as good as you are before you go.”

Artie grins up at him as he says, “Done. She’ll be auditioning next year.”

Mr. Schue nods and looks at Santanna. “And where am I going to find somebody that’s going to bring the diva like you do?”

Santanna smirks and leans into him a little bit. “Don’t worry, Mr. Schue. I handpicked my successor. You’ll have your minx next year.”

He laughs and finally looks down at Brittany, taking her shoulders. “And you. I don’t think I’ll ever find anyone quite like you. That performance was phenomenal and I know that it was all you. Good job, Brittany.”

She bounces a little as she says, “Thanks, Mr. Schue.”

She wants to tell him he’s her favorite teacher, ever. That he’s the best man she’s ever known. That Glee club is one of the best things to ever happen to her. She hugs him instead, clinging just a little even as Santanna wriggles in, too, and Artie sits a hand on her lower back.

She had taken everything he had ever taught her and turned out a performance. It’s not just her that’s done a good job.

5.)You’re hired

Brittany’s 25 and Broadway has never exactly been her dream. The other Gleeks, well, the original Gleeks had dreamed as high and as big as they’d wanted and part of that had been New York, Broadway, and their name in lights.

But, after years of hearing the others rave about the big stage and bitch about the choreographers, Brittany figures what the hell and decides to give it a shot.

Walking into the training room where she’s supposed to meet the director, she straightens her spine and stops her knees from quaking. She isn’t fifteen anymore and she’s already faced down the dragon and won. And no one could be worse than Coach Sylvester on a tear.

She hears a familiar squeal and then she’s being hugged by somebody hobbit sized. And they aren’t in high school anymore, so she smiles even though Rachel freaking Berry is hugging her in public. She even hugs her back.

“You’re hired,” Rachel says, bouncing as soon as she’s pulled away.

Brittany’s not the brightest bulb in the box, but she knows that Rachel’s just the star of the show, not actually the director, so she rolls her eyes and says, “Thanks Berry. Now, where’s the director?”

“Here,” Director Murphy says, just off to the side with a slight scowl crossing his features. He’s obviously dealt with Rachel in a snit before and doesn’t want to have to deal with it now if Brittany doesn’t turn out to be more than a bangin’ body and Rachel Berry’s friend.

But as soon as he sees the audition piece she’s prepared and her resume, which, because as Santanna says, God loves pretty people and it’s funny to know that somewhere in the world, Kurt Hummel wept bitter tears of resentment without even knowing why, includes a couple of tours with Beyonce, several music videos, and a couple of really off Broadway productions, he says yes in such a lustful manner, Brittany would fear for her virtue if she had any left after years of not-dating Santanna Lopez and living in L.A.

Rachel’s hugging her again and Brittany’s back to not being able to stop smiling. Broadway isn’t necessarily her dreams but, then, Brittany’s always dreamed small so when big stuff happens, it feels amazing. Because she’s hired and Rachel didn’t just say it because they were friends, but because she knows what Brittany can do. (Rachel Berry would never hire a subpar choreographer to work with, not even one that was her friend. She tells Director Murphy that, at a volume that only dogs should be able to hear.) Brittany’s hired because she’s got talent. She’s hired because she knows how to deal with divas. She’s hired and she understands exactly what that means.

1.)Sapphic love story

Opening nights are always hectic and usually nerve wracking. Choreographers aren’t usually backstage on opening nights but one of the dancers got sick and Rachel Berry is a force to be reckoned with and some poor understudy just got bumped because Rachel knows Brittany can not only do the moves but sing the songs.

It’s the first time she’s been on stage since the Beyonce tours, the first time she’s sung on stage since graduation. It still feels like flying.

Backstage, afterwards, is pandemonium. Rachel drags her off to her dressing room and Brittany’s shocked because Santanna was supposed to be in court tomorrow defending some bigwig and Kurt had some kind of runway thing in Paris that he needed to be getting ready for.

Brittany’s opening her mouth to ask what’s going on but suddenly she’s nearly swallowing Santanna’s tongue and she just can’t quite seem to care.

“Oh,” Kurt says and Brittany bets he’s got both hands pressed to his chest because he might’ve eventually chosen fashion over the big stage, but he’s still a dramatic little fucker. “Such a wonderful Sapphic love story.”

Brittany doesn’t understand what sapphires have to do with anything but the rest of it pretty much explains itself. And it’s absolutely perfect because they’re not in Lima, Ohio anymore and they can do whatever they want to.

Author’s Notes: So, shortly after I started writing this, I learned, through a throw away comment made by Brittany in the Madonna episode that her sister’s actually younger than her. That said, I like it as it stands, so whatever. It’s a little AU. Also, the title's in reference to a particular dumb blond joke. Look it up, it's kind of funny.

The End

You have reached the end of "Big Red Truck". This story is complete.

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